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Quote# 76260

Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters, that He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it. And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world. These are the most sad times! But God has offered them hope. He has offered them a place, a chance to restore themselves to Him. Let us pray the one who he has asked to help them does so. They are beyond His reach. He has removed all Angelic Workers from The White House. It is now a place of utter Darkness, of utter despair. Hopefully some day We can bring The Light back to it, and drive the creatures of Darkness out, if I win the election in 2,012.
Speaking of 2,012 there's a sick movie out claiming that the world's going to be destroyed in that year, and that only a few of humanity will survive. The people that are pushing this are trying to make money. There's no truth to it, whatsoever. God wants me to assure everyone that nothing that abnormal should happen in the year 2,012. Well, if I become President that might be something that many would consider would be the end of the world, but that would be about the only thing! The world will not end with a bang. If mankind perishes it will be with a whimper, it will not be swift and sudden, but slow and agonizing.

Gerald Polley, Voices from Spirit 98 Comments [9/23/2010 10:04:03 AM]
Fundie Index: 144
WTF?! || meh
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breakerslion

'ELLO POLLEY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! ....

This Polley is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

... Or maybe he's just brain-dead.

(More prophesy from the Pythons.)

9/23/2010 12:12:09 PM

EMT420

He told you this, did He? Did your last communion cracker by any chance taste a little bitter and have a little rainbow unicorn printed on it?

9/23/2010 12:18:18 PM



"God says the same thing I'm thinking! I never thought it funny that god hates the same people I do!"

Also, Gerald... Fiction. That movie is fiction. Do you know what fiction is, Gerald?

9/23/2010 12:28:24 PM

Brenz

Pretty awesome God you have there who sends children to Hell for all eternity because they didn't publicly decry their own fathers for tolerating the gay people God created.

Also, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but with your wing already awash in racism, why not eschew referencing the woeful "darkness" in the White House more than a dozen times per post, okay?

9/23/2010 12:39:08 PM

Alleyprowler

Yeah, I'm sure Michelle, Malia and Sasha are just devastated now that the Angelic Workers(tm) are all gone. Revealed knowledge is just sooooo convincing.

I'm voting for the Dr. Pepper can.

9/23/2010 12:43:14 PM

Tardis

"Yesterday God told us that..."

This is all the farther I needed to read...

9/23/2010 12:44:29 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Obama never sodomized any children, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Actually, there are a lot things you are saying that make me wonder what the hell you're talking about.

9/23/2010 12:47:33 PM

aaa

Step away from the computer and drop the crack pipe. You are way too crazy for the internet.

9/23/2010 12:49:10 PM

Old Viking

God was involved in a relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters? Holy shit!

9/23/2010 12:52:09 PM

AuraTwilight

Your god is a fucking asshole.

9/23/2010 12:54:45 PM

Godmouth

Blessed are the Voices from Spirit, blessed are the children of the cosmos.

Hi Gerald, I wonder what time God was speaking to you yesterday, because He was speaking to me just after tea-time, about 6.30 PM greenwich mean time. I think He was feeling a bit down in the dumps at first because we've just had that twerp Pope Ratzi waltzing about the place in his frock and funny party hats, making people think that God is a dick. I think He's got a nasty surprise in store for the old buffoon.

Anyway, He suddenly brightened up somewhat and said to me, "Godmouth. One day soon, the world will be filled with the Godly light of egocentric right-wing extremists spreading their love and angelic compassion among mortal man."
"Good-o!", I ejaculated. (Blast it, I always ejaculate when I speak with God, I can't help it).
"Then we'll see what these reasonable atheists have to say for themselves. Do you know", he continued, "When the holy bigots set the world to rights and remove the coloured chap from the White House, I might reward some of them with a touch of the old rapture, perhaps. You know, show willing and all that. A nice gesture of appreciation. Do you think they'll like that Godmouth?"
"Whatever my Lord desires, must be", I rather snivelingly replied.
"Well, I'm not going to let the world be destroyed in 2012", He cheerfully grinned.
"Bye for now Godmouth. I'm off to speak to that insufferable bore Gerald Polley. See you soon".
With that He was gone.

9/23/2010 1:02:46 PM

Freethink



THIS IS ALL THE COMMENT NECESSARY!!!

9/23/2010 1:03:39 PM

Mister Spak

"Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters, that He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it."

I asked God if he really said that. He told me he doesn't talk to you.

9/23/2010 1:12:05 PM

Bine

"Voices from Spirit", indeed! What the hell has Polley been drinking??

9/23/2010 2:27:32 PM

Neith

"And because her daughters would not speak out against their father sodomizing the children of the world."

Uh, there's no reason for them to speak out against something he's never done.


"Speaking of 2,012 there's a sick movie out claiming that the world's going to be destroyed in that year, and that only a few of humanity will survive. The people that are pushing this are trying to make money."

Most people who make movies are trying to make money from their movie. So what?


"If mankind perishes it will be with a whimper, it will not be swift and sudden, but slow and agonizing."

Maybe, maybe not, or maybe both. You don't know.


If you run for President, Gerald Polley (whoever the hell you are), I'll be sure to distribute this quote to as many people as possible.

9/23/2010 2:38:41 PM

Brendan Rizzo

Fundie lying for Jesus, part 6.023 * 10^23...

And don't they believe that the world will end in a bang? I'm so confused...

9/23/2010 2:50:13 PM

Brendan Rizzo

@ LM,

Wow, I never saw anyone MST a quote like that before...

9/23/2010 2:53:18 PM

Doubting Thomas

Yesterday God told us that He has ended His relationship with Mrs. Obama and her daughters

Funny, I never saw a press release about this.

He will make no place for them in The Kingdoms Of God because Mrs. Obama hosted a gay pride celebration in The White House and did not speak out against it.

Funny how Christians always seem to know what God wants, and funnier still how it's always what the fundies themselves want.

their father sodomizing the children of the world.

I doubt he has that much time, what with running the country and all. But I can understand why God's upset with him for doing that, because that kind of activity should be reserved for Catholic priests.

if I win the election in 2,012

Gee you actually think you have a chance? If Sara Palin can't even get elected vice president, then what chance is there for another rambling nutjob to win the presidency?

9/23/2010 2:54:32 PM

Doubting Thomas



Vote for president 2012!

9/23/2010 3:00:03 PM

myheadhurts

2012 not 2,012

grammar thing, your not being clever

As for the other shit, that aint clever either.

9/23/2010 3:33:44 PM

pete

Isn't speaking in place of God blasphemous? Methinks that Gerald should look after his own soul.

9/23/2010 3:58:58 PM

Nowonmai

You are talking about yourself in plural, so you are either suffering from MPD or have a gerbil in your pocket.

You're also saying you are hearing god talking to you... hearing voices and talking about yourself in plural.. Gerry, go back on the meds.

9/23/2010 4:25:53 PM

SoCalScience

POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE. Check out the rest of the site guys. So obviously a POE.

9/23/2010 4:27:09 PM

Ri Jayden

I have some extra Geodon and Prozac, just for you, Gerald. And I'd vote FSM before I'd EVER vote you in office.

9/23/2010 4:28:49 PM

Thinking Allowed

Hey Gerald, are you sure that is your god talking to you?

9/23/2010 6:23:12 PM
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