It's important for people, especially people who call themselves christians to realize that if people aren't staying away from you, if they aren't giving you a hard time because of your belief and understanding of the bible (Word of God), then you really are not a Christian. If the Master was hated; the servants and children will be too. Jesus was killed. The Master was hated to death.
So when I see Christians living a krispy kreme life; I know one thing; they are not talking to anyone about their beliefs and understanding or they are not really following Christ. Thanks to you brother for a powerful article.
Phine (man of God)
64 comments
What's a Krispy Kreme life?
Misunderstanding the Beatitudes, episode 1065897: Phine insists that the only real Christians are the reviled Christians, thus indicating that Fred Phelps, by virtue of being universally reviled, is a better man than the Mother Teresas and Fred Clarkses of the world, who have reputations for actually doing what Jesus said now and again.
And the Lord sayeth, Go forth ... and annoyeth the Hell out of people.
Nah, just doesn't sound right.
Thou shalt not sully the name of the most holy Krispy Kreme in your stupid argument claiming that to be a real Christian means being an asshole to everyone.
Now drive to the nearest Hot & Now sign and say you're sorry, or a least bring me back a dozen glazed.
@WMDKitty - depends on your definition of "killed". The Doctor's never directly, actively killed the Master, though he did once stand aside and do nothing to save him even though it was in his ability to do so. And he's left him in dangerous situations a number of times.
At any rate, if this person thinks the Master is hated, they're really out of touch with the fans.
Yeah, 'cause Jeebus was sooo not about love, compassion, understanding, and turning the other cheek.
Oh wait...
Whining about what other people are doing while calling himself a "man of God".
Is there something in your eye, Phine?
"It's important for people, especially people who call themselves christians to realize that if people aren't staying away from you, if they aren't giving you a hard time because of your belief and understanding of the bible (Word of God), then you really are not a Christian. If the Master was hated; the servants and children will be too. Jesus was killed. The Master was hated to death."
"If you don't have a persecution complex, get one!"
Is that what you're trying to say?
"So when I see Christians living a krispy kreme life; I know one thing; they are not talking to anyone about their beliefs and understanding or they are not really following Christ."
Nobody gives a damn about your beliefs. Nobody wants to hear them. That's why people tell you to shut the fuck up--you're not being "persecuted" or "hated" you're simply being annoying and people eventually tell you off.
Well, people certainly hate Hitler now.
Oh, wait, you're about to say he was one of those exceptions, aren't you?
So when they are insulting my beliefs it is what makes them a good Christian? Even though it reminds me why I am not a Christian and that it makes me proud to carry Pagan beliefs? You aren't hated for being a Christian. You are hated for insulting atheists, Muslims, Pagans, the wrong Christians and possibly Jews too.
I've been studying Christianology, and I know what you must do to be a true Christian. First, abandon all pretensions to an education and wallow in your ignorance like a pig in deep shit. Consider yourself the salt of the earth, a paragon of manly strength, someone who strides the land like a God and is a fierce commander of his dog. Don't forget to disdain any person who goes to a proper university or college while you haughtily parade your own down-home folksy gibberish as the dizzy heights of cultural achievement.
Second, pay close attention to what your so-called authority figures say. To do this convincingly, you must align yourself politically with the extreme loony right wing without really knowing why you do so. Suffice it to say, you are to be canon fodder for certain vested interests.
Third, and perhaps most important, do not, whatever you do, do not ever let even the merest trace of reason enter even the least bit of your mind. To express your faith fully, you must believe any old tosh, however silly, even to its most banal and inane idiocies. If you can do all that, then you are a Christian. Congratulations. You are no longer human but are a terrorist, ready to kill and maim at the whim of your manipulators.
If it's a matter of degree that a Real Christian® must be disliked and persecuted, then you can't be a Really Real True Christian unless we're actually killing you.
And guess what? All the lesser christians (everybody else besides you) will insist you still didn't make the grade.
Seems like Phine's theology is strangely similar to that believed by these guys, the original professional martyrs.
While I don't think that Phine is seriously suggesting that all Christians must seek martyrdom to be Christians, the idea that the only true measure of a Christian is by how much the world despises him and is desperate to persecute him seems pretty similar.
In other words, fundies should leave their isolated communities and stop homeschooling their children! After all, if they don't open up themselves to criticism, then by their own logic they are not Christians.
Sweet, sweet victory.
(a drunk pretty puppy)
Preacher who stayed behind to aid those in need during the Rwandan genocide: You're doing it wrong
Jimmy Carter, who made global peace an intricate part of foreign affairs: You're doing it wrong.
Mother Teresa: You're doing it wrong
Quakers: You're doing it wrong
Interesting, Jesus was supposedly loved by the people and hated by the religious establishment, yet this person seems to suggest that people should strive for it to be the other way around, hmm...
Yeah, people called The Master get killed by blonde women. Whose last names start with S. Buffy Summers. Lucy Saxon. That's how it works.
Based on the majority of artwork, this suggests Mary Magdalene was behind the Crucifixion.
OHMYGOD! It all makes sense now!
...wait, no. Never mind. False alarm. Although that would be more interesting than the plot behind The DaVinci Code.
Lucy Saxon only killed her husband after the entire human race prayed the Doctor into having superpowers so he could beat The Master for them, though, so I guess this guy kind of got it right.
> if they aren't giving you a hard time because of your belief and understanding of the bible (Word of God), then you really are not a Christian.
Wouldn't the obvious solution to this to start believing in and distributing utter rubbish? The harder it is to understand and the more effectively it is rejected by laymen, the more godly it obviously is.
In fact, you could argue that people are already familiar with "God" and "Jesus" and all that rot. They understand it too easily. They already know they shouldn't fight you. Utter nonsense* which they are guaranteed to be unfamiliar with is the only path to total miscommunication. People fear what they can't understand. Make them not to understand. Provide the ultimate failure to communicate.
"Do you accept Blelglghfuctblughahghum as the only true Drillidrigablugaboume?"
--
Well, look at that. It’s like the Anti-Prosperity Gosepel.
So are the other “servants and children” supposed to hate, you too? Cause, I thought they were supposed to be about love an all that.
I think you're missing the point that the Master was hated by the hypocrites whose power He threatened with His ministry. For people whose hearts were open to love and who just wanted to live a just existence, He was the Messiah.
In other words, He didn't throw Himself in front of everyone trying to make Himself as annoying as possible. He irked only the people who weren't actually living up to the values both He and they espoused.
It is important for Christian children to attend all of their persecution lessons. Not so much to learn how to persecute others, that comes fairly naturally to most Christians, but more to learn how to be persecuted. Make certain not to miss the 'Creative Suffering for Beginners' course, that is essential to start you off whining like a true professional. Of course, living in a country where you are comfortably well off as a member of a comparatively advanced technological and scientific society, as well as being part of the majority religion, makes these courses a must.
With assiduous practice, most novices will quite quickly find that merely opening his or her eyes upon waking after a pleasant sleep, amounts to outrageous persecution. Indeed, pleasant sleep itself can be considered as dangerous persecution.
Perhaps you drama queens and attention whores think you are above education, but there's always plenty of room to fit more knowledge in to the massive God-shaped hole in your brain.
Prof. Bill nailed it.
As for the original post, well, wrong. No use arguing.
I consider myself as a Christian. I live a pretty lonely live, although I sometimes of course do meet my friends and family. When I see my friends, even those who are atheists, I really don't want to be an asshole towards them. They're my friends and I like them. I feel absolutely no need to start punching them in the face with my religion. Around here, everyone has bibles, and bible can also be found on the internet.
If they ask me about my beliefs, I try to tell them. Now that's fine. But when people are around other people, it's much more fun just to be in peace and try to understand each other.
Phine here seems to think he should be stoned to death every time he walks out of his house. Yet he seems to be alive, so I guess it's easier and safer to be oh-so-persecuted from behind your computer screen.
When people are assholes, they are just assholes. Not persecuted, true Christians or anything else. An asshole is an asshole. I have one too. Just used it 20 minutes ago. Even if I consider myself a Christian, I don't consider my asshole being one. And I would NEVER persecute my asshole even if it was!
At least be consequent and stop crying persecution for unimportant things. Ah, and remember that Jesus was EQUALLY loved by a number of people............well, not the ones you think, but loved.
So if you're a donut, you're not a Christian?
How can an inanimate piece of pastry worship anything, anyway?
What about Tim Horton's or Dunkin Donuts?
....do churros worship Christ via good ol' colorful Folk Catholicism?
....anybody remember the "Nun Bun"?
I love being nice to evangelicals. You can tell it really puzzles them to come across a polite and happy atheist. They keep trying, but I'm persistently courteous. They look oh so confused and disappointed that I don't get angry when they try to convert me, but just give them a very respectful no thanks and wish them a nice day.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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