Quote# 77000

The first operation described in the Bible was the removal of a rib from Adam, which was performed by first putting Adam into an unconscious, "deep sleep-like trance."[2] This was the equivalent of anesthesia -- thousands of years before anesthesia was developed by William Mortan in 1846. Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 121 Comments [10/19/2010 3:31:34 AM]
Fundie Index: 149
Submitted By: Night Jaguar

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Shut up science does not work that way!
One can not simply read a book and go oooh that sounds like a good idea think I'll invent that, otherwise I would have invented a wardrobe to Narnia long ago.

10/19/2010 3:33:53 AM


So you point to one of the few instances where your god does something kind and humane and say, "why didn't science do this sooner?"

All this proves is that the authors of the bible knew that this procedure would be painful, and that something had to be done to ease the pain.

Of course, he could've created Eve using a less invasive method, too...

10/19/2010 3:41:03 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

Jesus fucking christ, Andy. You seem to get more stupid by the day. What the fuck is wrong with you?

10/19/2010 3:43:59 AM


Also by andys logic we will be able to make females from ribs in the future. No more mailorder brides, just sacrefice a rib

10/19/2010 3:47:03 AM


"...Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives."

Would you care to explain exactly how this would have come about? I mean, science is of the debbil, is it not? So there is no logical sequence that I can see, short of satanism. However Genesis is allegorical at best as far as reasonable people are concerned. But by all means keep painting yourself into a corner of illogicality.

And by the way, your sequence of tenses is pathetic. Try learning some English. Your last sentence as above should read:

"Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they MIGHT have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives."


10/19/2010 3:47:23 AM

Night Jaguar

Yes, because putting someone in a "deep sleep-like trance" is practically an instruction manual on how to develop anesthesia. And shouldn't you also be faulting Christians who did read this passage and missed this obvious guide on how to develop anesthesia?
_ _ _

Submitting quotes for FSTDT is SOOOO easy with Andy. When I looked at Rapture Ready I would have to read dozens of paranoid comments by fundamentalist Christians in desperate need of anti-depressants before finding something quote worthy. Most of time they were more sad than incredibly stupid/funny.

But with Andy.....wow. I just have to check here periodically. Every third quote is hilarious and FSTDT worthy.

10/19/2010 3:48:52 AM


Before anesthesia, people drank alchohol until they were almost unconscious, before they underwent painful procedures.

What substance was God using on Adam? If it doesn't say in the Bible, how the heck could scientist discover anesthesia from the Bible?

10/19/2010 3:49:37 AM


Booze, they used booze centuries before your legends for battlefield treatments and pain suppression.

Check out the rest of his idiocy through the link, true Fundie cherry-picking in action. A lot of trying to demean the more advanced culture of the day and total willful ignorance of scientific knowledge through the years

10/19/2010 3:55:35 AM


Riight. Because doctors obviously didn't notice on their own that patients tended to find certain operations pretty painful.

I'm not a medical research doctor, but I know a thing or two about creative processes. Here's one of the fundamental rules: knowing your target is the easy part. Getting there is the difficult part.

God anesthetising Adam? Duhhhhh. Doctors would have done the same sooner if they knew how, which was regrettably not included in the Bible.

Is this God a fan-fiction writer? Full of "cool" (at least according to themselves) ideas that the film studios keep ignoring.

10/19/2010 4:04:02 AM

And where is the "missing rib", eh genius?

10/19/2010 4:14:59 AM


I didn't know that... fuck do I feel stupid. All this time the babble had the answer.

10/19/2010 4:16:09 AM


Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives.

So what you're basically saying is that Christians knew all about life-saving medical procedures 2000 years ago, but swore themselves into a smug silence and sat around on their hands waiting for secular science to either come crawling to them for the answer or figure it out for themselves?

10/19/2010 4:22:29 AM


Pretty interesting how all of this only came to light, even from your end, once we already had such things.

10/19/2010 4:28:43 AM


Any large blunt object will do.

10/19/2010 4:34:51 AM


Andy, get this through your terminally atrophied brain: even if that were describing known scientific phenomena, which it isn't, it still wouldn't be goddamn science, and people wouldn't have been able to reproduce it sooner just by being more "open minded" to that heap of crap you call scripture, because it doesn't fucking tell you how to do it.

The only parts of the bible that do give explicit instructions on how to do something like a medical procedure, and even they don't give you any hint as to a consistent underlying model, another prerequisite to qualifying as "science," because they're just trying to invoke fucking magic from the lawd, are known to modern science to be utter bullshit, which is why you're desperately clinging to this vague, unspecified and hence unprovable fairy-tale shite instead.

10/19/2010 4:52:30 AM

Doctor Whom

Then have at it, Andy. Read through your retranslation of the Bible and use it to develop a new scientific principle or medical procedure. Take your time. I'll wait.

10/19/2010 5:12:44 AM


Dude. You keep amazing me every time i see your crap. How the fuck do you do that? You keep coming up with shit that makes Timecube look positively sensible.

10/19/2010 5:16:09 AM


He's out of his mind if he thinks that the mere reference of anesthesia in a book would lead people to finding the scientific method to create it.

If he were right, we should have teleportation by now. After all, it's been mentioned in books, right?

10/19/2010 5:22:48 AM

Arctic Knight

So you expected science to figure out how to perform magic the way your sky daddy did?

10/19/2010 5:27:51 AM

Zeus Almighty

The first incest described in the Bible was by Lot's daughters, which was performed by first putting Lot into an unconscious "drunk-like state." This was the equivalent of roofies -- thousands of years before roofies were developed. Had rednecks been more openminded about Genesis 19:30-19:38, they may have been inbreeding far sooner, and significantly increased the population of Republicans who could vote in the 2010 elections.

10/19/2010 5:39:29 AM

The first operation described in the Bible was the removal of a rib from Adam...

Yeah but this never actually happened in reality so doctors had to figure it out the old fashioned way: by using their brains and through trial-and-error.

10/19/2010 5:42:49 AM


All the bible says is your god knocked Adam out - it doesn't say specifically how.

What formula were scientists supposed to recreate from that?

Damn, Andy. You have to be the stupidest fundy alive (next to your fellow editor Jinx McHue, of course).

10/19/2010 5:47:23 AM


Knowing that your God used his magic to anaesthetise Adam does not give man the ability to anaesthetise.
Dexter says 'You are STOOPID'

10/19/2010 5:59:14 AM

Doubting Thomas

I... I just... I really just can't believe that Andy Schlafly keeps getting more and more idiotic. I mean, does he really think that if doctors pray to God to put a patient to sleep it will work? Why the hell do you think anesthesia was invented? I'm sure prayer didn't do jack to put a patient to sleep or relieve pain in any way.

10/19/2010 6:05:30 AM



Oh. Schlafly.

(I'm still not convinced Schlafly isn't some kind of super-poe. It's easier to accept than that someone who holds a JD degree from an Ivy League institution could possibly be this stupid.)

10/19/2010 6:11:06 AM

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