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Quote# 77000

The first operation described in the Bible was the removal of a rib from Adam, which was performed by first putting Adam into an unconscious, "deep sleep-like trance."[2] This was the equivalent of anesthesia -- thousands of years before anesthesia was developed by William Mortan in 1846. Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 121 Comments [10/19/2010 3:31:34 AM]
Fundie Index: 147
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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GigaGuess

Yeah, no one EVER thought "Gee, this would be a LOT easier if he was unconscious," before anesthetics were developed...

10/19/2010 6:17:30 AM

Mister Spak

Except when anesthesia was discovered, christianists tried to outlaw it, on the grounds that it could be used during labor, and the bible commands that women should bring forth children in travail and pain.

You lose again.

10/19/2010 6:29:38 AM

dionysus

And that's not all! The Bible is even a great guide for breeders too! In Genesis it says that Jacob was able to breed specific patterns on goats by having them fuck in front of rods that have the desired pattern on them. If breeders had only followed the Bible's instructions they'd be able to get whatever pattern they want instantly without having to mess with all of that long and arduous breeding and genetics crap.

10/19/2010 6:32:23 AM

Horsefeathers

"Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives."

I don't see any mention of anesthesia. I also don't see any chemical compounds or formulas mentioned, refinement techniques, safety precautions, dosage instructions or a multitude of other things that would be needed to actually be, you know, fucking useful.

All I see is that your god made some guy fall asleep so he could mutilate him, rather than just magicking up a "helpmeet" for him out of thin air like I would expect an omnipotent deity to be able to manage.

10/19/2010 6:36:21 AM

breakerslion

Zeus Almighty for the win.

Andy, do you wear a kerchief on your head and bash two bricks together? I know I've seen you before!

10/19/2010 6:43:24 AM



This whole article is an exercise in fail, and the talkpage is, somehow, even worse.

Andy is genuinely unhinged, there's no other explanation for it. The sad thing is the number of people just like him.

10/19/2010 6:47:07 AM

Doctor Fishcake

No way.

No FUCKING WAY.

Even Andrew Schafly cannot possibly be that dumb.

10/19/2010 6:55:14 AM

Night Jaguar

My favourite bit of "Biblical scientific foreknowledge":

"It was common thought throughout history that infections and illness resulted from the digestive system, based on unclean hands or food. Jesus rejected that view, and declared hand-washing before meals to be typically unnecessary. It took many centuries before science caught up to the Bible on this."

This was also added by Andy.

10/19/2010 6:57:15 AM

Mookie Blaylock

This is just dumb. What were they supposed to do, snap their fingers and put someone to sleep?

It has nothing to do with faith or lack thereof. It has everything to do with knowledge of chemistry.

10/19/2010 7:16:13 AM

Boadicea

I feel kinda sorry for Andy. I mean, after all, during his most formative years, his mother Phyllis was out on the road, telling women to stay home and raise their families INSTEAD OF STAYING HOME AND RAISING HER OWN!! (banging head off desk)

Is it any wonder the poor boy is terminally messed up?

10/19/2010 7:36:28 AM

emau99

If that's the case, Andy, why didn't Christians discover anesthesia sooner?

Or do you mean to say that they had, but they were holding out on us?

10/19/2010 7:49:48 AM

John

It didn't take the Bible to tell people to figure out they needed anesthesia - nobody is that dumb. The search for a practical, effective anesthesia has been going on since the ancient Greeks - they used opium and other plants. Waving a magic wand is hardly a practical solution for us mortals.

Besides, most people for the last few thousand years have been "open-minded" about the Bible. It's only in the last few centuries that we've decided that God doesn't solve our problems for us and we have to look for our own solutions.

10/19/2010 7:56:56 AM



I love Andy's definition of "open-minded". For most sane people, it means that you examine a new proposition/idea/whatever before accepting or rejecting it, but in Schlaflyville, it seems to mean that you'd better take whatever he says as the fundamental be-all, end-all truth OR ELSE.

10/19/2010 8:30:03 AM

Anon-e-moose

"The first operation described in the Bible was the removal of a rib from Adam, which was performed by first putting Adam into an unconscious, "deep sleep-like trance."[2] This was the equivalent of anesthesia -- thousands of years before anesthesia was developed by William Mortan in 1846. Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives."

Let's see how 'open-minded' Andy Schaftafly's going to be when he gets to the part of the Bible where it states that Pi = exactly 3:



PROTIP: Not even your so-called 'omnipotent' God could build a wheel on the basis of the Bible's mathematical model, Andy. Try it yourself. You can't reinvent the wheel.

You're certainly fucked when you get to Revelation 22:18-19. Not just in terms of your immortal 'soul', as per the warning at the very end of your Holy Writ, but as the established Fundamentalist church, to say nothing of professors of theology & philosophy tear you a new one, metaphorically & physically, when they get a load of your 'Conservative Bible'.

@#1219621

"you'd better take whatever he says as the fundamental be-all, end-all truth OR ELSE."

Like I say, if he values his so-called 'beliefs', Andy Schaftafly had better take Revelation 22:18-19's warning as the fundamental be-all, end-all truth.

OR ELSE.

10/19/2010 8:39:07 AM



That's just dumb.

10/19/2010 8:42:49 AM

Thinking Allowed

First off *looks at name of poster*











Never mind, i'ts just Andy

10/19/2010 8:43:43 AM

Headache

The Schiafly family is a living testimony to the horrible state of health care and esp. mental health care in the US, a country giving the mentally ill a prominent position rather then a hospital bed and this we should respect?

10/19/2010 8:56:19 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Men and women have the same number of ribs.
Make the world a better place.
Die soon.

10/19/2010 9:11:38 AM



Wait a minute that sounds like science. And as science is of the devil, and god seems to be practicing it then god = of the devil. I have just debunked your whole religion Andy, I am your god now!

10/19/2010 9:20:31 AM

Alex

I wonder what goes on in Mr. Schlafly's head. It must be weird indeed.

10/19/2010 9:49:10 AM

anon

The catholic church prohibited medical research (especially anatomy) for centuries, based on the biblical teachings that every human body is a creation of god, therefore sacred and must not be touched. (This is the same argument why the church is opposed to contraception and abortion, until today.)

For example, Leonardo da Vinci had to do his anatomical studies in secret, under constant danger of being revealed to the Inquisition.

Had people been more openminded in the medieval ages, and not given that preference to biblical teachings, modern medicine would have been developed far sooner, and saved *overwhelmingly* more lives.

10/19/2010 9:54:16 AM

lisamariefan

Yeah...

Do I even need to mention how this fails? Science does not work that way...

10/19/2010 10:14:03 AM

KR

It scares the shit out of me, that this guy is running an online encyclopedia... Some people might even believe the info on Conservapedia, without the knowledge that it is only fundamentalisticly (<--- wonder if i got that right) biased bullcrap version of certain facts.

10/19/2010 10:18:02 AM

Brendan Rizzo

No, they wouldn't have. Knowing that people don't experience pain while numb and unconscious means nothing if they cannot induce such numbness. Do you even read things before you post them, Schlafly?!

10/19/2010 10:23:54 AM

Poppy

Wow... I've never been to that site before. I got stupider just reading that crap.

Did Andy's mom drop kick him a couple of times when he was a baby?

10/19/2010 10:38:56 AM
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