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Quote# 77000

The first operation described in the Bible was the removal of a rib from Adam, which was performed by first putting Adam into an unconscious, "deep sleep-like trance."[2] This was the equivalent of anesthesia -- thousands of years before anesthesia was developed by William Mortan in 1846. Had scientists been more openminded about Genesis 2:21, they may have discovered anesthesia far sooner, and saved many more lives.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 119 Comments [10/19/2010 3:31:34 AM]
Fundie Index: 147
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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How would they exactly have discovered anesthesia from Genesis exactly?

10/19/2010 10:59:11 AM



Really? No one has mentioned the Egyptians yet? I think we are the ones who are slipping here.

10/19/2010 11:00:02 AM

solomongrundy

Anon-e-mouse wrote of Pi
PROTIP: Not even your so-called 'omnipotent' God could build a wheel on the basis of the Bible's mathematical model, Andy. Try it yourself. You can't reinvent the wheel.

Andy can:
However, a simple explanation of the claimed "contradiction" is that the Bible records the ratio of the actual object which Hiram created, not that of a mathematical sphere.

Even given that he actually means a circle rather than a sphere that explanation only makes him look a bigger fool.

10/19/2010 11:08:05 AM

freako104

I think Mr. Schlafly has failed science. Horribly

10/19/2010 11:24:01 AM

Mech610

Except, Andy that the anesthesia-like effects described in the Bible were brought on by MAGIC not chemicals as real anesthesia is. Please try again, but thanks for playing.

10/19/2010 11:41:10 AM

pete

Poppy asks:
Did Andy's mom drop kick him a couple of times when he was a baby?

I don't think so. I think it's more likely that the evil old bitch had him lobotomized because she caught him playing with his wee-wee.

10/19/2010 11:59:28 AM

LDM

The Ancient Egyptians used anesthesia.

10/19/2010 12:33:41 PM

myheadhurts

Scientists and physicians have always been open minded to minimizing pain during surgery. Something about screaming being distracting. Genesis does not give any sort of chemical equation so humans were left to experiment, alcohol being on of the many variations.

All I get from your mythology book is that your deity was nice enough to help the fictional Adam but didn't give a shit about any other character.

10/19/2010 12:52:54 PM

GodotIsWaiting4U

Interesting that the Bible did not actually make it possible to develop anesthesia by, say, providing a description of how to make and administer anesthetics. Then we could have developed it MILLENNIA ago rather than mere centuries. Of course, the Bible also didn't provide any particularly good warnings about hygiene either; in fact, Christ was called out by the Pharisees for not having his disciples wash their hands before eating and he "justified" it by saying "It is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out". Scientific foreknowledge, huh?

10/19/2010 1:09:23 PM

Draken

I just sit here in awe. Aschlafly is brilliant, a bright shiny thing in his own right

10/19/2010 1:27:34 PM

Karana

The magical happenings of a fairy tale god is not science, nor could anyone have 'figured out' how to discover anesthesia from a 2000year old book that says nothing about actual reality.

10/19/2010 1:31:35 PM

Old Viking

Andy, I'm holding this baseball bat. Place your palms on your knees and lean toward me. I can achieve the same effect as anesthesia with a simple piece of wood.

10/19/2010 1:33:32 PM

I read about the afterlife

It actually just kind of sounds like hypnosis...Something scientists have known about for ages.

10/19/2010 1:47:27 PM

Mrs. Antichrist

Bwahahahaahahaha

Is Schlafly TRYING to make himself look like an idiot now?

10/19/2010 1:56:13 PM

feralboy12

Jesus fucking Christ on a crutch.
You religious nutjobs had several millenia to develop anesthesia based on Genesis. What were you doing?
The bible also has detailed instructions on how to take a dump. Had your god mentioned washing your hands afterward, many lives would have been saved.

10/19/2010 2:01:07 PM

reynagade

@ Mrs. Antichrist



I don't think Andy is actually trying... Seriously, it's fail like this that makes me wonder why people like him are able to speak. What makes it even worse is that somewhere, someone is agreeing with everything he is saying...

10/19/2010 2:11:18 PM

Newhere

It's pretty amazing how full of bullshit one person can be...

10/19/2010 2:37:51 PM

JDC1

No, It's more likely that if someone developed
anesthesia before William Mortan,
let's say perhaps in the 1400s',
they would have been executed by christians for witchcraft.

10/19/2010 2:54:21 PM

Allegory for Jesus

If only scientists would read the Bible, they would have known about "deep sleep-like trances"! And also about walking on water, killing first born children, salt pillars and demon-pigs. Oh, the science we would have!

10/19/2010 3:00:18 PM

WMDKitty

*facepalm*

10/19/2010 3:01:07 PM

John_in_Oz

You got Morton's name wrong too.

10/19/2010 4:28:00 PM

The L

Because the idea of entrancing people could never have been thought of otherwise, and Gen. 2:21 provides a detailed explanation of which gases have an anesthetic effect and how much to use. Riiiiiiight.

10/19/2010 5:05:51 PM

John

Yeah, scientists shoulda listened to the Arab goat herders who wrote the Bible. They said pi was 3. OK, that's not an unreasonable approximation for an Arab goat herder, but the Egyptians thought it was 256/81 (3.1605) in the 20th century BC, and the Indians gave it as 339/108 (3.1389) in maybe the 7th century BC. By the time of Christ, we knew it was about 3.1416. Today we have it to several million decimal places. So in this case, listening to the Bible would have delayed things.

10/19/2010 5:09:29 PM

Moondog

Except that the rib was neve removed from the man. Men and women both have 10 ribs and 2 floating ribs that don't connect to the sternum.

10/19/2010 5:45:43 PM

Berny

The more I read what that fucking retard Assfly writes, the more I have to wonder how it is anyone can take him seriously.

10/19/2010 5:56:58 PM
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