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Quote# 77442

Quantum tunneling is the ability of particles to move through energy barriers even though ostensibly impossible based on traditional laws of mechanical physics. This was not discovered by scientists until the 20th century.

Jesus proved this was possible in John 20:26, when he appeared before the Apostles in a closed room with completely shut doors.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 91 Comments [11/17/2010 4:47:39 AM]
Fundie Index: 106
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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Anon

Does this mean it would be possible to construct a quantum tunnel diode out of Jesus?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunnel_diode

I should ask the Vatican for some relics, and sell insanely expensive "holy electronics". Some fundies would even buy some...

11/17/2010 5:07:32 AM

Newhere

"Jesus! How the hell did you get in here?"

"...The door was unlocked."


11/17/2010 5:08:06 AM

Percy Q. Shunn


11/17/2010 5:14:39 AM

DarkfireTaimatsu

Pssh, the Flashes vibrate their molecules through stuff all the time; it's not that unusual.

11/17/2010 5:30:26 AM



Do you think Andy, with all of this reducing Jesus to quantum theory, is taking the idea of the Higgs Boson as "The God Particle" a little too literally?

11/17/2010 5:34:19 AM

John_in_Oz

Andy, outraged at the way the Muslim "Scientific Miracles" apologists make a farce of Islam, competes to show Christians can make their apologists look even more ridiculous.

11/17/2010 5:53:35 AM



So .. what you're saying is, Assfly, that Jesus couldn't do miracles?

(And isn't it amazing that the resurrected Jesus only showed up for private viewings with his followers, and not, say, in the middle of the forum in Jerusalem on market day?)

11/17/2010 6:00:36 AM

Pule Thamex

I've actually seen several variety shows on TV featuring Jesus the Son of God performing similar stunts. It must have been Jesus because only God can do that. I watched carefully, and observed His rituals. Jesus said, "Ali Oop! Mumbo Jumbo!" Waving of a stick. "Now you don't see me!! Abra Kadabra!" Waves stick some more. "Now you do!!" Wow! Astonishing! Truly He is the Son of God!

11/17/2010 6:02:09 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Massive quantum mechanics FAIL there Andy.

11/17/2010 6:07:26 AM

FMG

That's nothing... Kirk proved that God does not exist...

11/17/2010 6:11:24 AM

C_V


there's a Jeebus Vibrator joke in there, somewhere...

11/17/2010 6:23:12 AM



Damnit, Andy!!! I spent the better part of my final college days purging the Schrodinger equation out of my head with massive consumption of alcohol. Specifically, of the fermented barley-hops variety through a long tube connected to a funnel.

And you had to put it right back in there. Thanks a lot for nothing!

11/17/2010 6:29:39 AM

David B.

Amazing, Assfly is desperately trying to reduce all of Jesus's miracles to natural phenomena, and is completely oblivious to the fact that if he actually succeeded, there would be no longer any 'proof' that Jesus was the son of God.

I think we should encourage him.

11/17/2010 6:30:49 AM

Brendan Rizzo

But is it explained, Andy?

11/17/2010 6:46:27 AM

Gawd


It took a while before I was convinced that this was even a real person, but now I know it's a real person who posts shit like this and then laughs his ass off at all of the people who take it seriously.

11/17/2010 6:51:37 AM

Ignignockt

I'd love to empirically measure Jesus' tunneling probability for houses.

11/17/2010 6:59:18 AM

TGRwulf

For fuck's sake Andy, just give up already.

11/17/2010 7:21:19 AM

Doubting Thomas

Oh Andy, just stop it. You're looking more and more like the idiot you are when you try to use modern science to try to prove your ancient myths.

11/17/2010 7:33:01 AM

Godbuster

WHY IS THE INFORMATION IN THE BIBLE USELESS ANYWAY!! There are NO formulas, nor values or anything mathematically useful.

you fucking DOUCHEBAG!!!

11/17/2010 8:05:02 AM

Horsefeathers

"Jesus proved this was possible in John 20:26, when he appeared before the Apostles in a closed room with completely shut doors."

You need to be quiet now, Andy.

11/17/2010 8:05:04 AM

Anon-e-moose

"Quantum tunneling is the ability of particles to move through energy barriers even though ostensibly impossible based on traditional laws of mechanical physics. This was not discovered by scientists until the 20th century.

Jesus proved this was possible in John 20:26, when he appeared before the Apostles in a closed room with completely shut doors."

So why doesn't the Bible explain this in the first place, with detailed diagrams, formulae & equations, hmmmmm?!

And no, 'because Scripture needed to be in an easily understandable form for most of the ignorant, illiterate peons out there' is not a credible (certainly justifiable) reason, Andy Schaftafly.

@Doubting Thomas

"Oh Andy, just stop it. You're looking more and more like the idiot you are when you try to use modern science to try to prove your ancient myths."

As David B says, we should indeed encourage him. So he can make himself look an even bigger twat than he already is.

The established right-wing Fundamentalist Christian clergy in the US will tear him a new one, when they get a load of his 'Conservative Bible', because as far as they're concerned, only the KJV already as is will do.

Especially keeping Revelation 22:18-19 in mind eh, Andy?

>:D

11/17/2010 8:22:50 AM

Jack Bauer

I don't think 'quantum tunneling' means quite what you think it means.

I should get my friend Casseritides to explain it to you.

11/17/2010 8:28:45 AM

breakerslion

So... Jesus was a subatomic particle? ... The walls of ancient dwellings were made of energy? ... Are you sure he didn't just turn himself into wine and drip from the ceiling, then turn himself back again? Maybe he cloned himself from a single hair follicle then killed and ate the clone later. ("This is my body." ... Hmmmm!)

Or maybe, Andy, You would look more at home with a knotted scarf on your head, loudly proclaiming, "MY BRAIN HURTS!"

11/17/2010 8:36:06 AM

Unbeliever

So Jesus was a particle? I wonder what was his charge.

EDIT: Forget the charge. What about the spin?

11/17/2010 8:36:32 AM

Mister Spak

Andy just proved he is even stupider than a FSTDT commenter thought he was.


http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=77490&Page=2#1227223

11/17/2010 8:45:30 AM
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