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Quote# 77442

Quantum tunneling is the ability of particles to move through energy barriers even though ostensibly impossible based on traditional laws of mechanical physics. This was not discovered by scientists until the 20th century.

Jesus proved this was possible in John 20:26, when he appeared before the Apostles in a closed room with completely shut doors.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia, Biblical scientific foreknowledge 91 Comments [11/17/2010 4:47:39 AM]
Fundie Index: 106
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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GodotIsWaiting4U

Jesus is NOT a repeatable and observable instance of quantum tunneling. Your own book does not describe it as such. The book describes it as magic. Your book does not describe Jesus' miracles as scientific advances, it describes them as magic. That's kind of the point; once you start bringing science into it, gods start to disappear, because you don't need them for the explanation anymore.

11/17/2010 9:18:44 AM

Dark_Lord_Prime

So? Superman phased through a wall to spy on a bad guy in the old George Reeves series.


Wait..

Holy shit! That means that George Reeves REALLY WAS SUPERMAN!!

o_o

11/17/2010 9:27:47 AM

Sisyphus

WTF. Criss Angel does that all the time. Are you saying he's the son of god now?

11/17/2010 10:26:20 AM

Swede

Once again; use the Bible to provide new scientific discoveries, don't bend it to fit with things we already know.

How did I know it was Andy after just two words? I hang here way too much...

11/17/2010 10:27:06 AM

Anon

>>Mister Spak

Andy just proved he is even stupider than a FSTDT commenter thought he was.


http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=77490&Page=2#1227223 <<

When I made that comment, I was afraid that someone would find an example like this. In case anyone is wondering: the probability of a human being able to quantum tunnel through a normal wall is less than 10^-40 per try. If everyone in the world walked into a wall once per second for ten billion years, there would be less than a chance in a _trillion_ that one of the them would tunnel. I put more odds on a man with a key.

Has Schlafly ever given any indication that he is a troll, or if he is not, that he can ever accept that he is promoting both pseudoscience and bad religion?

11/17/2010 10:29:20 AM

G.Fieendish

The doors might be shut, but what about windows...?
Or how about him being already in the room, hiding, before the Apostles arrive, & at a conveniant moment, after the doors were shut, revealing himself...?
Quantum Tunnelling, or Stage Magic, for a explanation of John 20:26, you decide...?

11/17/2010 10:47:42 AM

Xotan

It's Andy. How wearisome.

Frankly, does anyone really care how this happened, if it did?

I think Andy is having a crisis of faith and is desperately trying to confirm to himself that the magic in the bible can really be explained rationally. Problem is that this completely undercuts anything being miraculous.

11/17/2010 11:01:09 AM

Joe Mama

And this guy wants to homeschool your kids, ladies and gentlemen. For only $19.95 a week, your kids can be as stupid as Andy Schlafly. For an extra $5, he will throw in a weekly course on "how to run your own wiki website." Yes, your kids can try to make themselves look intelligent by censoring and banning anyone who disagrees with them.

11/17/2010 11:06:06 AM

Doubting Thomas

@Anon-e-moose

As David B says, we should indeed encourage him. So he can make himself look an even bigger twat than he already is.

Are you sure that's even possible? He makes Madonna's look like a tight virgin flower.
@Newhere

"Jesus! How the hell did you get in here?"

"...The door was unlocked."


That reminds me of an episode of "The Naked Gun:"

"Who are you? And how did you get in here?"

"I'm the locksmith. And I'm the locksmith."

11/17/2010 11:08:23 AM

aaa

Andy, please stop this madness.

11/17/2010 11:27:08 AM

dionysus

Andy's version of Jesus sounds less like a god and more like a comic book superhero who happens to have powers over quantum mechanics. The only thing missing is Jesus getting those powers from a lab explosion or exposure to radiation.

11/17/2010 12:14:37 PM

JohnTheAtheist

No one can be as educated as Andy and be that stupid. Can they? Boggles my mind..

Jesus proved quantum tunneling. Please.

11/17/2010 12:16:47 PM

Murdin

Alternate title : quantum physics confirm that this whole Jesus stuff is just a quarkery.

This article is so pathetically wanky, I'm sure Andy is having a hadron right now. Unless he's too busy boson' himself, of course.

11/17/2010 12:38:48 PM

EdgyB

Andy Schlafly, the Deepak Chopra of the fundamentalist right?

11/17/2010 12:52:42 PM

nazani14

Kindly hold hands with Deepak Chopra and jump off a cliff.

11/17/2010 12:52:57 PM

GigaGuess

Except it wasn't posed as quantum mechanics, or even as science. It was posed as "OMG MIRACLE! *cower*"

Also, it's funny how only after these things are discovered, do the fundies start rifling through the Bible saying "See! We had it first! God is so great!" Show me one time where the Bible PRE-EMPTED science, and I might listen a little more seriously.

@Unbeliever
Seemed like a pretty positive fella to me.

...I'll just go stand over there. I'm sorry.

11/17/2010 12:54:32 PM

Old Viking

Do you know that a woman who would be insulted by your suggestion of a casual sexual encounter will be intrigued if you promise quantum tunneling?

11/17/2010 1:08:53 PM

shadkat

You'd think if Jesus was so great at all this amazing quantum physics stuff, he would've shared at least some of his knowledge. Because, you know, it really would've advanced scientific knowledge...by two thousand years. Unless Andy provides some stupid explanation for why Jesus wouldn't do that somewhere, but I sure as hell ain't checking that out.

Oh, and I lol'd @ Jack Bauer. :D

11/17/2010 1:21:11 PM

Angua

So, Jesus is a subatomic particle then? Huh. I always thought that Jesus was strange.

You know, if you "interpret" something enough, you can get it to mean anything.

I could argue that oh, say, because anytime anyone looked at a Gorgon they were turned to stone or that Eurydice disappeared the moment that Orpheus looked back at her when leaving the underworld, that Greek mythology had predicted the Observer Effect.

It would be a bloody stupid argument. It would reveal that I know absolutely nothing about quantum mechanics. It would be completely absurd. But it wouldn't be any more absurd than half of what Andy says.

11/17/2010 1:39:35 PM

vaiyt

Jesus was not a particle and the room's walls were not made of energy.

And he didn't tell how it was done, so scientists would have to discover that anyway.

11/17/2010 2:20:50 PM

Night Jaguar

"No one can be as educated as Andy and be that stupid. Can they? Boggles my mind.."

My guess is his descent into complete madness started after he got his degrees. It's really hard to believe that he could get them with his current mental status (even with the notorious grade inflation of universities).

11/17/2010 2:26:56 PM

Shadoboy

So Jesus wasn't the son of God, just a very brilliant physicist?

11/17/2010 3:09:24 PM

Prayster

In Praise Of Madness

The darkness scattered by lurid light
The comet's tail is burning bright
Feverish dreams this night will fly
Let churning apparitions cross the sky.

My thanks, O Lord, your generous gift
Helps me further the widening rift
When soon a simpleton race we'll be
'Tis glory to lunacy divine, to Thee.

Please, our gibbering to remain
Our understanding be kept in rein
Beseech, let us continue to prey
On minorities and 'specially the gay.

Whatever the word, a special meaning
Goodness is bad, compassion demeaning
Talk is projection of stream of air
Mostly hot, and mostly unfair.

My psychopathy tends to violent themes
My bigotry springs from cunning memes
My naked madness, deranged for all to see
Thanks O Lord for the insanity that is Christianity.

Amen

11/17/2010 3:18:54 PM

whatever

Funny, as soon as I saw the word "quantum" at the start I knew this was from Andy.

11/17/2010 3:25:26 PM

Pastor Niceman

We all know that Jesus wants the atheist religion destroyed. The Lord has spoken and blasphemous terms such as chemistry, evolution, tolerance and compassion shall be punishable by stoning. It is good to speak biblical English. The grand biblical plan is to phase all languages out and replace them with Jesus's own English Holy Tongue. The miraculous workings of the human body may be learned during bible study classes, which shall dominate the school curriculum. The only true and chosen method of study to discover the true facts is called miracleology. Homos shall be put to death by stoning. Feminists shall be put to death by burying alive. Liberals shall be put to death by crucifying upside down. Atheists shall be put to death by burning. Non-whites shall be die in slavery by being worked to death. Non-fundamental cultists shall choose their own method of execution, as long as it be grisly.

Once only true Christians are left, we will work on finding new ways to distinguish one from the other, in order to continue the Holy persecution of people and thereby appeasing the mad God.

11/17/2010 4:54:31 PM
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