The 'Exploding Giraffe' Award

Now get that image out of your head

Quote# 77556

My Creation science teacher once told the story of the Giraffe. He asked us, "how large the heart of a Giraffe is?"
We said, "most likely larger than that of a human."
He said, "Yes it is." That it takes a large heart to pump blood continuously up that long neck." He went on to say, "What happens to a Giraffe when it leans down to get a drink?"
We just stared at him.

If a Giraffe leans down to take a drink and the blood supply to the brain is not shut off the Giraffes head would explode or massively hemmorage. But what is amazing is that their is a valve placed in the system that closes off the blood supply when he leans down allowing the Giraffe to get a drink.

He then asked, "How many Giraffes heads exploded before evolution created the valve?" It was interesting.

At any rate, His point was we were all created by species in like form as we are today. We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science.

mikhen7, Rapture Forums 127 Comments [11/20/2010 12:29:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 176
Submitted By: Grigori Yefimovich

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Go kiss an okapi.

11/20/2010 9:26:50 PM


The fundie understanding of evolution is that each feature develops COMPLETELY before it moves onto to next so no wonder they think that giraffes exploded until their already long necks developed valves. Of course, this is nonsense and is analogous to believing that during the human aging process our legs reach maximum size before our feet and then making the bogus conclusion that humans can't grow up as they wouldn't even be able to walk until their feet grew to the right size.

11/20/2010 9:33:20 PM


How many giraffe's heads exploded when they read this crap?

11/20/2010 9:34:46 PM

Percy Q. Shunn

The only thing exploding around here is my "What-The-Fuck?" meter. This is quite possibly the most awesome quote ever exhibited here:

We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science.

11/20/2010 9:38:10 PM


Even for creationist misunderstanding of evolution, that's still just an epically dumb conclusion. Why would anyone assume a creatures neck would grow to be that long sooner and easier than it could grow a simple valve?

11/20/2010 9:57:16 PM

pretty puppy

"My Creation science teacher..."

I no joke had to look away at this. I eventually finished but this....this part got me. This is not at all fair to the students.

11/20/2010 10:08:29 PM


I would have very little respect for the intelligence of any creator who could design a giraffe. Really, as "designs" go, the giraffe would be the approximate equivavalent of a burnt roast or a collapsed souffle - pretty fucking stupid, if intentional.

11/20/2010 10:48:57 PM



11/20/2010 11:40:03 PM


I wonder if mikhen7's 'teacher' told him that other ruminants (for example, sheep) have the same valve (the rete mirabile) in their necks too?

11/21/2010 3:31:47 AM


So your god is dumb enough to make Giraffes heads explode if not for a valve? How many Giraffes did your god go through before figuring out that little flaw in is design? Why didn't your god simply make a body structure that would be able to withstand the additional blood pressure when leaning down? Why did your god make giraffes in the first place, when it is such a risky and troublesome design?

Sorry, but the flaws of the giraffe are flaws regardless of the explanation for how they came about you believe to be true. The only thing you do when saying "God did it" is declaring your god an idiot, and expose yourself as one too.

But hey, I guess it must be nice to simply accept everything some guy in front of your "class" says, without asking any questions.

11/21/2010 4:38:30 AM


Creation Science Teacher must be the easiest job in the world.

"Now for my thesis on the bone structure of the Gazelle inner ear : God did it."

11/21/2010 5:24:26 AM

Raised By Horses

"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science."

Amen, brother. Amen.

Should be the slogan for this site.

11/21/2010 6:33:16 AM

karen whiddon

My "Bile" is reserved for creationists!

11/21/2010 6:46:41 AM

rubber chicken

"Creation Science teacher" is an oxymoron, with the emphasis on moron.

11/21/2010 7:16:19 AM

This is one of the best things I've ever heard.

11/21/2010 7:39:09 AM

11/21/2010 8:46:32 AM


I now know more about giraffes then I ever did. I already knew that creationist should never use their nonsense under the guise of scientific research. Even when they use facts they omit all other findings that explain the system then end with the inevitable strawman conclusion.

Why should the giraffe escape thair half-truth/full-lie approach when it's their methodology for everything. I'm glad Dawkins has commited so much of his time bringing real science down to layman terms to debunk creationists propaganda, it'll never reach the likes of mikhen7 but it will chip away at the stupid

11/21/2010 8:47:04 AM


Should you ever have to debate this nonsense, here's a starting point for learning about the rete mirable system:

11/21/2010 9:17:11 AM


Humans can't take a dump without an anal sphincter. Evolution must have made people die without one, so Goddidit!

Whale hips. We win.

11/21/2010 10:21:29 AM

Has school fallen so down lately?, or are we in the XIX century?

11/21/2010 10:23:48 AM


Ha. Creation "science"

11/21/2010 11:00:31 AM

Mookie Blaylock

This is perhaps the stupidest thing I've ever read.

11/21/2010 11:17:28 AM


The giraffe regulates its blood pressure with basically the same organ a dog uses to shunt cooled blood to his brain so his muscles, which aren't as sensitive to heat, can run hotter without killing him. No new structure was developed - a well-know vertebrate structure was adapted for various purposes in dogs, fish, ducks and other vertebrates.

If God designed the giraffe, why are all His previous versions extinct? Why didn't He just add more neck vertebrae instead of making the same neck bones as humans except longer? Snakes have plenty more vertebrae, so obviously it could have been done that way and the neck would have been a lot more flexible. And why did He also make the poor animal's legs so long that his neck, even as long as it is, can't comfortably reach the ground?

11/21/2010 11:48:25 AM


Creation Science Teacher? This must come from USA!

No other country outside the islamic crazies have any such things, except for in dumbfuck USA>

11/21/2010 12:02:14 PM

Some guy

The creation science manual must have a "can contain near-lethal amounts of stupid" sticker on it

11/21/2010 12:24:44 PM

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