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The 'Exploding Giraffe' Award

Now get that image out of your head

Quote# 77556

My Creation science teacher once told the story of the Giraffe. He asked us, "how large the heart of a Giraffe is?"
We said, "most likely larger than that of a human."
He said, "Yes it is." That it takes a large heart to pump blood continuously up that long neck." He went on to say, "What happens to a Giraffe when it leans down to get a drink?"
We just stared at him.

If a Giraffe leans down to take a drink and the blood supply to the brain is not shut off the Giraffes head would explode or massively hemmorage. But what is amazing is that their is a valve placed in the system that closes off the blood supply when he leans down allowing the Giraffe to get a drink.

He then asked, "How many Giraffes heads exploded before evolution created the valve?" It was interesting.

At any rate, His point was we were all created by species in like form as we are today. We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science.

mikhen7, Rapture Forums 117 Comments [11/20/2010 12:29:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 170
Submitted By: Grigori Yefimovich
WTF?! || meh
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Gimme 5 more Minutes

I'm sure that what he forgot to mention is that the valves that are present in the giraffes neck are also present in the neck of every mammalian species, including Humans. Yes, the same valves that are present in the giraffe's neck are present in YOUR neck. It is called the "Jugular Valve".

11/21/2010 1:24:35 PM

jeckey

God must have thought the valve up along with the path of the laryngeal nerve.

11/21/2010 3:03:15 PM

Brain_In_A_Jar

It took about two seconds after reading this for a plausible (though not necessarily true) alternative to occur to me; that something approximating the valve's function must have existed first, allowing a finite lengthening of the neck, in turn creating evolutionary pressure for the valve to improve its effectiveness, so as to allow a longer neck still, and so on. That the same thing didn't occur to you can be attributed to a deficiency either of imagination or of the desire to even consider alternatives to long-held dogma.

Oh, and what the hell kind of school has "creation science" classes?

11/21/2010 3:21:28 PM

Tempus

Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin giraffe on top of your television set to explode.


11/21/2010 4:40:23 PM

Evilution Teacher

NO main stream biology teachers in the USA do NOT teach this. Ugh. I'm devastated that the words "creation science teacher" occurred as a phrase.

11/21/2010 4:49:47 PM

Fanatic-Templar

He asked us, "how large the heart of a Giraffe is?"

That's not a valid question. And I'm not talking about biology.

11/21/2010 5:28:27 PM

DevilsChaplain

"Creation Science Teacher? This must come from USA!

No other country outside the islamic crazies have any such things, except for in dumbfuck USA>"


There are no religious schools that teach Creationism in, say, Britain? You might want to watch some videos by Richard Dawkins...

11/21/2010 6:04:03 PM

freako104

"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science. "

Poe/Troll?

11/21/2010 6:43:48 PM

Okamishojo

pfft! oh LOL you're so stupid! XDD

11/21/2010 7:54:38 PM

moose

@ Headache:
"Creation Science Teacher? This must come from USA!

No other country outside the islamic crazies have any such things, except for in dumbfuck USA"

I take it that Australia is not a country??? I stopped searching right there, at "A". I suspect there are many more countries also....DevilsChaplin alluded to England. But what would I know, I am just a dumbfuck from the USA.

11/21/2010 10:54:07 PM



My head is about to explode from reading this...

11/22/2010 12:04:22 AM

Atropa

I'm pretty sure that there are "Creation Science" teachers teaching in fundamentalist Christian schools in NZ, just as there are people with degrees in biology here who also believe the world was created in 6 days, and shops that have lots of science stuff in them that have a bunch of creationist literature in the book section.

However they cater to a rather small section of the population here and there's little if any attempt to teach religion in science classes, even in the majority of religious schools.

Oh, and great quote. Sounds like a fine school that mikhen7 attends. Clearly achieving the same high standards in grammar and punctuation as they are in science.

11/22/2010 2:46:32 AM

Rumpleforeskin

This is hilarious. The assumption that it the Giraffe had a long neck and THEN decided to 'upgrade' his heart is so endearingly stupid and funny. You wonder do they all sit around slack-jawed (well, obviously) and drooling listening to some retard spout this shite.

11/22/2010 2:54:03 AM

Godless heathen

Creation science is not science

11/22/2010 3:49:32 AM

Pup

It's called a rete mirabile and it's not a 'valve', it's a complex net of veins and arteries, and they're not unique to giraffes.

11/22/2010 4:37:00 AM

Mister Spak

"He then asked, "How many Giraffes heads exploded before evolution created the valve?"

Then he asked "do you want fries with that?"

Evolution created the valve first, then the long neck you dumb fuck! Evolution, unlike your giant man with a long white beard, is an intelligent designer.

11/22/2010 5:58:34 AM

Nowonmai

Since Giraffes used to be much smaller animals, and due to feeding habits and available food, they evolved over time to have longer necks, with the needed architecture.

Keep you silly-assed bible out of science. They are mutually exclusive.

11/22/2010 7:25:25 AM

Unbeliever

IMHO, the real wtf here is "Creation science teacher". Someone is even getting payed for dumping this bullsh1t into people's brains.

11/22/2010 9:50:08 AM

shykid

@Unbeliever: Indeed, but the real LOL is:

"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science."

I love the unintentional truth of that typo. It's great.

11/22/2010 11:50:47 AM

Se7enSages

THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

11/22/2010 3:22:14 PM

dionysus

@Headache

Creation Science Teacher? This must come from USA!

No other country outside the islamic crazies have any such things, except for in dumbfuck USA>


So I take it you've never heard of Edwards v. Aguillard and Dover v. Kitzmiller? To bring you up to speed, teaching creationism in science class or as a science is UNCONSTITUTIONAL and thus ILLEGAL. How about doing your research before opening your fat mouth?

11/22/2010 3:33:44 PM

DaMentalFunism

I bet your mom gave you an A for that bullshit.

11/22/2010 3:43:19 PM

DaMentalFunism


11/22/2010 4:15:43 PM

Xotan

Creationism is not science.

Write this out ten million times before breakfast!

11/22/2010 5:27:22 PM

chatbot

Even if everything he said was true, occasionally these giraffes would have a mutation where one of them is born without these valves that protect them from exploding. The first time it bent over to drink, *BLAM*, no more giraffe, and a dead giraffe does not get to pass on its defective (i.e., unfit) genetics to the next generation, which is evolution in action.

11/22/2010 8:48:59 PM
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