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Think or GTFO

Not quite on the same level as the burning nostrils, but it's close.

Anon-e-moose

"My Creation science teacher"

How the fuck did this 'Creation science teacher' get a job, post Kitzmiller vs. Dover - certainly post-Kent Hovind - sucking off the head of the school board?!

"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science."

For once I agree with a fundie. Venom & vitriol certainly fits in the Bible, along with it's Bile.

@Tempus

"Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin giraffe on top of your television set to explode."

Reminds me (and which appeals to my sense of the surreal) of something on one of Spike Milligan's "Q" series, with (I think) Stella Tanner and David Lodge (star of "Cockleshell Heroes"), sitting watching TV, when suddenly their gas fire starts moving and travelling in the direction of the doorway, out of the living room, ultimately exiting the house. Stella (as calm as you like) says:

'The fire's gone out.'

X3

Angua

@Anon-e-moose:

Given the number of public school science teachers in America and the number of creationists (especially in certain areas of the country), there are certainly going to be some creationists who end up teaching science in some American public schools, however unfortunate it may be. There are some parts of the country where the parents are going to be predominantly creationist and the few who aren't won't blow the whistle because they don't feel it's that important or they fear their child being ostracized by the community. If no one is willing to report a public school teacher for teaching creationism, then what the law says isn't going to matter.

However, I have trouble believing that any teacher in an American public school would actually refer to himself (or herself) as a "creation science teacher" -- because the school is going to at least nominally follow the state curriculum, and there is no way "creation science" is part of any state's science curriculum.

Angua

So, I don't think this person is referring to a teacher in an American public school, which leads to several options:

1.) This person isn't American. I don't know what the standards of science education are in other English-speaking countries. Heck, his English is so bad, that it wouldn't entirely surprise me if it was a second language. Maybe he isn't even in a country where the primary language is English. I know even less about the standards of science education in countries where English isn't the predominant language, so I guess I can't really speak on this.

2.) This person attends a private religious school, so the curriculum is exempt from most state regulations.

3.) This person is homeschooled. He doesn't mention that this "teacher" is one of his parents because he thinks it will make him lose his (non-existant) credibility, or because a group of parents has teamed up to with each parent covering a different topic more in-depth.

4.) He's taking a course at a non-accredited religious "college" -- though no one old enough to go to college in America should have such a poor grasp of the English language. Then again, we all remember Kent Hovind's doctoral dissertation in all of its shining glory.

5.) He's making this entire thing up. He just wants to make his exploding giraffe theory more believable by putting it in the mouth of a science teacher.

Amadaun

Also, learn the proper application of quotation marks. You just finished your sentence there, within quotes, instead of putting down the sentence the teacher would have said.

I'm a writing tutor goddammit jim!

Mageapprentice

So, why don't their feet explode when they stand up real tall? HMMM?

Brenz

Or more likely the ones that mutated to include a valve that constrained blood pressure were able to eat more because they could grow tall enough to reach leaves that hadn't been stripped and still take a drink of water.

Over time, that valve shut down completely.

Or maybe it happened another way. We won't know till we find a really great specimen.

Also, I quite agree with your last sentence, even without the typo.

Steven Mading

"We do not need to fit our bile into science."

Best. Typo. Ever.

I'd like to ask that teacher how long he thought a brain can stay awake without blood. Notice he doesn't describe it as "reduce blood flow to the head" (what actually happens). He describes it as "cut off blood flow to the head". As in... altogether. Where are all the fainting Giraffes trying to drink water and then collapsing unconscious or dead?

Godbuster

In order for life to even exist, most cells in any organism are told to commit suicide. Most cells aren't even used, they just die. That's not very efficient and not what you would expect from an intelligent designer.

Your move.

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!!! No realy, what dipolmia mill did your teacher get their degree from.

Rabbit of Caerbannog

Rabbit of Caerbannog