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The 'Exploding Giraffe' Award

Now get that image out of your head

Quote# 77556

My Creation science teacher once told the story of the Giraffe. He asked us, "how large the heart of a Giraffe is?"
We said, "most likely larger than that of a human."
He said, "Yes it is." That it takes a large heart to pump blood continuously up that long neck." He went on to say, "What happens to a Giraffe when it leans down to get a drink?"
We just stared at him.

If a Giraffe leans down to take a drink and the blood supply to the brain is not shut off the Giraffes head would explode or massively hemmorage. But what is amazing is that their is a valve placed in the system that closes off the blood supply when he leans down allowing the Giraffe to get a drink.

He then asked, "How many Giraffes heads exploded before evolution created the valve?" It was interesting.

At any rate, His point was we were all created by species in like form as we are today. We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science.

mikhen7, Rapture Forums 127 Comments [11/20/2010 12:29:37 PM]
Fundie Index: 176
Submitted By: Grigori Yefimovich
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Think or GTFO

Not quite on the same level as the burning nostrils, but it's close.

11/23/2010 12:09:03 AM

Anon-e-moose

"My Creation science teacher"

How the fuck did this 'Creation science teacher' get a job, post Kitzmiller vs. Dover - certainly post-Kent Hovind - sucking off the head of the school board?!

"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science."

For once I agree with a fundie. Venom & vitriol certainly fits in the Bible, along with it's Bile.

@Tempus

"Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin giraffe on top of your television set to explode."

Reminds me (and which appeals to my sense of the surreal) of something on one of Spike Milligan's "Q" series, with (I think) Stella Tanner and David Lodge (star of "Cockleshell Heroes"), sitting watching TV, when suddenly their gas fire starts moving and travelling in the direction of the doorway, out of the living room, ultimately exiting the house. Stella (as calm as you like) says:

'The fire's gone out.'

X3

11/23/2010 10:16:39 AM

Angua

@Anon-e-moose:

Given the number of public school science teachers in America and the number of creationists (especially in certain areas of the country), there are certainly going to be some creationists who end up teaching science in some American public schools, however unfortunate it may be. There are some parts of the country where the parents are going to be predominantly creationist and the few who aren't won't blow the whistle because they don't feel it's that important or they fear their child being ostracized by the community. If no one is willing to report a public school teacher for teaching creationism, then what the law says isn't going to matter.

However, I have trouble believing that any teacher in an American public school would actually refer to himself (or herself) as a "creation science teacher" -- because the school is going to at least nominally follow the state curriculum, and there is no way "creation science" is part of any state's science curriculum.

11/23/2010 1:55:58 PM

Angua

So, I don't think this person is referring to a teacher in an American public school, which leads to several options:

1.) This person isn't American. I don't know what the standards of science education are in other English-speaking countries. Heck, his English is so bad, that it wouldn't entirely surprise me if it was a second language. Maybe he isn't even in a country where the primary language is English. I know even less about the standards of science education in countries where English isn't the predominant language, so I guess I can't really speak on this.

2.) This person attends a private religious school, so the curriculum is exempt from most state regulations.

3.) This person is homeschooled. He doesn't mention that this "teacher" is one of his parents because he thinks it will make him lose his (non-existant) credibility, or because a group of parents has teamed up to with each parent covering a different topic more in-depth.

4.) He's taking a course at a non-accredited religious "college" -- though no one old enough to go to college in America should have such a poor grasp of the English language. Then again, we all remember Kent Hovind's doctoral dissertation in all of its shining glory.

5.) He's making this entire thing up. He just wants to make his exploding giraffe theory more believable by putting it in the mouth of a science teacher.

11/23/2010 1:56:29 PM

Amadaun

Also, learn the proper application of quotation marks. You just finished your sentence there, within quotes, instead of putting down the sentence the teacher would have said.

I'm a writing tutor goddammit jim!

11/24/2010 12:34:29 AM

Mageapprentice

So, why don't their feet explode when they stand up real tall? HMMM?

11/24/2010 9:48:02 AM

Brenz

Or more likely the ones that mutated to include a valve that constrained blood pressure were able to eat more because they could grow tall enough to reach leaves that hadn't been stripped and still take a drink of water.

Over time, that valve shut down completely.

Or maybe it happened another way. We won't know till we find a really great specimen.

Also, I quite agree with your last sentence, even without the typo.

11/24/2010 12:27:35 PM

Steven Mading

"We do not need to fit our bile into science."

Best. Typo. Ever.

I'd like to ask that teacher how long he thought a brain can stay awake without blood. Notice he doesn't describe it as "reduce blood flow to the head" (what actually happens). He describes it as "cut off blood flow to the head". As in... altogether. Where are all the fainting Giraffes trying to drink water and then collapsing unconscious or dead?

12/7/2010 10:05:15 PM

Godbuster

In order for life to even exist, most cells in any organism are told to commit suicide. Most cells aren't even used, they just die. That's not very efficient and not what you would expect from an intelligent designer.

Your move.

12/13/2010 7:07:49 PM



Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!!! No realy, what dipolmia mill did your teacher get their degree from.

1/12/2011 3:59:15 PM

Rabbit of Caerbannog


5/16/2012 6:12:03 PM

Rabbit of Caerbannog


10/12/2012 8:37:43 PM

DAR31337

And if he drinks for too long, he'll die of a combination of oxygen deprivation to the brain and drowning.

1/15/2014 7:38:25 AM

JW

Later the teacher asked how many people had to use their other had to hold their glasses in front of their eyes before evolution created the nose.

1/16/2014 5:07:32 AM

pyro

> We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science.

I agree.

> He then asked, "How many Giraffes heads exploded before evolution created the valve?" It was interesting.

Assuming you meant: "How many giraffe heads exploded before the valve evolved," Assuming for a moment that the valve did not evolve until after the giraffe's neck was too long, I'd guess a large, but not population-destroying amount.

How is that an argument against evolution? That valve seems like the classic quick-fix evolution is famous for!

1/16/2014 2:55:12 PM

creativerealms

No they just have to smash science with a sledgehammer until it fits with the bible.

1/16/2014 2:58:57 PM



"We do not need to try and fit our Bile into science."

That's because others like you are already trying to fit your bile and your bible into public school science classrooms, claiming it IS science. They're claiming there is a "controversy" about evolution (there isn't) and the big bang (there isn't) and that we should "teach the controversy" and let the kids decide. If you think that, there is controversy about mathematics (numerology), chemistry (alchemy) psychology (phrenology), magic, and human birth (stork delivery). Of course we need to then teach ALL the controversies to the kids, they can sort it all out and figure out what is true.


1/16/2014 7:37:55 PM

Gee300

Interesting to note ppl who have never studied the sciences contained in Genesis Chapters 1 and 2, making definitive statements.
There is no variance between the Bible and Science when we are presented with a true and proper translation of the Text, and CURRENT, UPTODATE science.
And not that pseudo science they force feed students, even today.
Having studied Genesis 1 and 2 for a year now in the original Hebrew, I had to learn maths, astronomy, nuclear physics, quantum physics, biology, and so forth.
Needless to say I had a steep learning curve.
As a sceptic, It took me by surprise to find evolution is a lie, current DNA results have been published and debunked Darwin's stolen idea, and that most ppl mean ADAPTION, not evolution.
Yes, Darwin was in court many times for intellectual property theft.
Do your research and be UPTODATE with CURRENT science before you nay Sayers go off half cocked with inadequate assumptions, that merely highlight your ignorance.
Even Hawkins States at the end of his lecture, " And remember ladies and gentlemen, it is still only a theory".
Yes. The Theory of Evolution. An idea that was around before Darwin's grandfather. What Charles Darwin tried to do was introduce the creation model into the existing theory of evolution. He tried, and failed.
Just as you who rubbish the science found in the bible have failed to impress me with any intelligent argument.
Study it for yourselves, you may be amazed at what you'll find.



10/1/2015 6:11:41 AM

Anon-e-moose

@Gee(I have an IQ of) 0.03

"Study it for yourselves, you may be amazed at what you'll find."

I have, and to answer your question 'Just as you who rubbish the science found in the bible have failed to impress me with any intelligent argument', it's this:

Why are there two 'Cre(a)ti(o)n' stories (and that's Stories for Cretins), and which contradict each other?

The fact your 'God' can't calculate Pi beyond 3 (whereas the ancient Greeks could, to 75 decimal places: before Christianity existed), thinks that Bats are birds, rabbits chew their cud, goats can be bred with offspring matching the colours of poles, and insects must have evolved with two extra legs after he 'created' them - thus conclusive proof of Evolution, means that - post-Kitzmiller vs. Dover - has utterly failed to impress with it's lack of an argument in the first place.

...otherwise the defence would have won KvD: it already had the cards stacked their way beforehand, with the Conservative [I]Christian Judge John E. Jones III, personally appointed to the Federal bencxh by the Conservative Christain Creation-be[I[lie[/I]ving George Dumbya Bush, in turn voted in - twice - by Conservative Christain creation-believers: i.e. you. And said defence's case still failed.

PEROTIP: The fact that Judge Jones is a Conservative Christian? He destroys the cincept of 'Activist Judges'.

Kitzmiller vs. Dover finally proves that Evolution is more-than fact (Romans 13:1-5, bitches), there's not a single shred of 'science' in the Bible (otherwise there would be just one version of 'Genesis', and consisting of detailed equations, formulae & diagrams describing how your 'God' created the universe, this world & all the animal life on such (with nary a thought: yet, he couldn't do the same for the first humans?! A God who limits his 'Omnipotence' is no God, therefore yours doesn't exist).

As Judge John E. Jones III is a Conservative Christian, so is Dr. Buzz Aldrin. I'm sure you know the significance of that name. Like I say, he's a Conservative Christian: to the extent that he performed the first religious ceremony on another world, when, after he'd piloted the Apollo 11 mission's LEM 'Eagle' on the Sea of Tranquility, he took Communion.

The later Aopllo 15 astronauts James Irwin and David Scott brought back from the Moon what was referred to as the 'Genesis Rock':



Which, when analysed, was proved to be the same age as the Earth: 4.5 billion years old.

Dr. Buzz Aldrin has never questioned the veracity of the findings of said rock. Scientific fact.

A quote by Dr. Aldrin, on the Moon landings:

'It is a magnificent testimony to the evolution of humankind'

He can reconcile his Christian faith with proven scientific fact. As can the clergy of the Church of England:



Otherwise, why was Charles Darwin - who, from his discoveries to his death (and that 'Deathbed Conversion is a myth, before you come out with that BS) - was an Agnostic - buried and memorialised in their central place of worship, Westminster Abbey? And in his early years, was in training to join the Church of England's clergy.

Geneticists not so many years ago proved that we humans share at least 98% of our DNA with Chimpanzees. Thus Darwin was right all along.

Therefore Evolution is more-than mere 'Theory', it's proven fact.

...and you Cre(a)ti(o)nists don't even have an 'argument'. Otherwise, why didn't Kitzmiller vs. Dover go your way...?!

1 Thessalonians 5:21 (KJV): 'Prove all things'. And as it says it that way, therefore it means it that way literally; no 'Interpretation' or any of that apologetics BS allowed. Proof to my satisfaction, or your 'God' doesn't exist.

Our DNA: 98% that of Chimpanzees.



I've shown you mine, you show me yours.

10/1/2015 8:38:17 AM

Gee300

Interesting to note ppl who have never studied the sciences contained in Genesis Chapters 1 and 2, making such definitive statements.
There should be no variance between the Bible and Science when we are presented with a true and proper translation of the Text, and CURRENT, UPTODATE science.
And not that pseudo science they force feed students, even today.
Having studied Genesis 1 and 2 for a year now including some of the original Hebrew, I had to learn maths, astronomy, nuclear physics, quantum physics, biology, and so forth.
Needless to say I had a steep learning curve.
As a sceptic, It took me by surprise to find evolution is a lie, current DNA results have been published and debunked Darwin's stolen idea, and that most ppl mean ADAPTION, not evolution.
Yes, Darwin was in court many times for intellectual property theft.
Do your research and be UPTODATE with CURRENT science before you nay Sayers go off half cocked with inadequate assumptions, that merely highlight your ignorance.
Even Hawkins States at the end of his lecture, " And remember ladies and gentlemen, it is still only a theory".
Yes. The Theory of Evolution. An idea that was around before Darwin's grandfather. What Charles Darwin tried to do was introduce the creation model into the existing theory of evolution. He tried, and failed.
Just as you who rubbish the science found in the bible have failed to impress me with any intelligent argument.
Study it for yourselves, you may be amazed at what you'll find.



10/3/2015 2:31:44 PM

Gee300

This is for Steven Mading and others who are vague on the anatomy of a giraffe.

If you have ever done a handstand or hung upside-down, you know the feeling of the blood rushing to your head. This is not a big deal for people, but it should be a problem for giraffes. The giraffe is the tallest animal in the world (up to 20 feet) and has a neck about 7 feet long. Your heart pumps blood up about a foot. A giraffe’s heart has to pump blood up 7 feet! A plumber or irrigator understands this principle well. A normal person’s blood pressure is 120/80. A giraffe’s normal blood pressure is around 240/180, which is the highest of all animals.
If our blood pressure gets up to just 180, it is called a hypertensive emergency and must be lowered immediately or it can result in permanent organ damage and death. The question is, why doesn’t a giraffe damage its brain or kill itself when it bends down? The answer is found in a number of uniquely designed parts.

1. An Enlarged Heart. To get the blood to its head in the first place, the giraffe needs a large and powerful heart. Your heart is about the size of your fist. A giraffe’s heart is about 2 feet long and can weigh over 25 pounds. Its heart is also very powerful. “For blood to reach the head, the heart must beat strongly enough to overcome the significant downward pressure caused by gravity”.
Its heart also pumps 16 gallons of blood per minute. The giraffe certainly has the right heart for the job.

2. Valves. When a giraffe bends down, there are two problems. (1) The increased blood pressure from the heart, and (2) blood that has already passed through the brain being pulled back by gravity. To correct the issues caused by gravity, the giraffe has special valves in the main veins of the neck (jugular veins) which automatically close when the giraffe bends down and open when it lifts back up. This significantly reduces the pressure in its head when it bends down.

3. Blood Vessels. The walls of these vessels are extra thick and grow thicker as the giraffe’s neck grows and the blood pressure increases. The thick walls keep the vessels from rupturing under all the pressure. Besides this, the giraffe’s blood vessels have elastic qualities. So, the giraffe’s vessels will expand and contract to change the volume of blood flowing to the brain when it bends down. Doing so decreases the pressure in the brain.

4. The Sponge. At the base of the giraffe’s brain is a complex maze of small blood vessels (called the rete mirabile). When the giraffe bends down, the rete mirabile acts like a sponge by expanding the blood vessels and containing the extra blood coming to the head. Doing so lowers the blood pressure and controls the amount of blood entering the brain. When the giraffe brings its head back up, the rete mirabile pushes out the blood it was holding into the giraffe’s brain so it doesn’t get light headed on the way up.

It takes ALL of these features just for a giraffe to bend down to get a drink of water and raise back up! This puts evolution in a difficult position.
If the giraffe did not have a strong enough heart, it could not get blood to its brain and would not survive.
If the valves in the blood vessels did not contract and close off, too much blood would rush to the giraffe’s brain and it would not survive.
If the giraffe did not have the sponge like maze of blood vessels and did not have special vessels that could expand and contract and control blood pressure, the brain would be damaged and it would not survive.
So, evolutionists, which evolved first?
Every one of these parts has to work together FLAWLESSLY in order for the giraffe to survive.
Not having any one of these qualities right from the get go, would be fatal.
Giraffes are but one fine example among many many thousands that show they were purpose built for their diet and environment right from the start.
Anything after that is merely ADAPTION, which has been cleverly factored in to our DNA. DNA which has billions of combinations and an error correcting code to prevent anything changing from one KIND into another. Surprise.
Yes, DNA itself won't allow a fish to turn into a lizard. Or whatever. It allows for corruption, deformities and adaption, as it works by copying the original, but DNA has recently been found to be digital, not analog.
And the maths involved to work out the odds of DNA occurring by chance are so astronomically huge, so big, we need stacks of trillions to handle the zeros.
Of course, we are all aware that the scientific community regards as anything with odds of 10 to the power of 50 against ..... AS ABSURD. (impossible).
As another example, take our haemoglobin molecule, the odds of that occurring have been worked out to about 10 to the power of 605.
Again, way way over the international scientist benchmark for ABSURD.

Giraffes, etc, are in my opinion, proof of intelligent design and of a God who has the knowledge and power to make every single part of an organism work flawlessly, from the get go.
Organisms of such astronomically complex construction, detail, beauty and functionality.
NB: To assist you all, try looking up the complex Woodpecker, and the Bombadier Beetle. Astounding as the Giraffe, wouldn't you say?
Thank you for reading this far.
Hope this helps .....


10/4/2015 1:49:13 AM

Gee300

This is for Steven Mading and others who are vague on the anatomy of a giraffe.

If you have ever done a handstand or hung upside-down, you know the feeling of the blood rushing to your head. This is not a big deal for people, but it should be a problem for giraffes. The giraffe is the tallest animal in the world (up to 20 feet) and has a neck about 7 feet long. Your heart pumps blood up about a foot. A giraffe’s heart has to pump blood up 7 feet! A plumber or irrigator understands this principle well. A normal person’s blood pressure is 120/80. A giraffe’s normal blood pressure is around 240/180, which is the highest of all animals.
If our blood pressure gets up to just 180, it is called a hypertensive emergency and must be lowered immediately or it can result in permanent organ damage and death. The question is, why doesn’t a giraffe damage its brain or kill itself when it bends down? The answer is found in a number of uniquely designed parts.

1. An Enlarged Heart. To get the blood to its head in the first place, the giraffe needs a large and powerful heart. Your heart is about the size of your fist. A giraffe’s heart is about 2 feet long and can weigh over 25 pounds. Its heart is also very powerful. “For blood to reach the head, the heart must beat strongly enough to overcome the significant downward pressure caused by gravity”.
Its heart also pumps 16 gallons of blood per minute. The giraffe certainly has the right heart for the job.

2. Valves. When a giraffe bends down, there are two problems. (1) The increased blood pressure from the heart, and (2) blood that has already passed through the brain being pulled back by gravity. To correct the issues caused by gravity, the giraffe has special valves in the main veins of the neck (jugular veins) which automatically close when the giraffe bends down and open when it lifts back up. This significantly reduces the pressure in its head when it bends down.

3. Blood Vessels. The walls of these vessels are extra thick and grow thicker as the giraffe’s neck grows and the blood pressure increases. The thick walls keep the vessels from rupturing under all the pressure. Besides this, the giraffe’s blood vessels have elastic qualities. So, the giraffe’s vessels will expand and contract to change the volume of blood flowing to the brain when it bends down. Doing so decreases the pressure in the brain.

4. The Sponge. At the base of the giraffe’s brain is a complex maze of small blood vessels (called the rete mirabile). When the giraffe bends down, the rete mirabile acts like a sponge by expanding the blood vessels and containing the extra blood coming to the head. Doing so lowers the blood pressure and controls the amount of blood entering the brain. When the giraffe brings its head back up, the rete mirabile pushes out the blood it was holding into the giraffe’s brain so it doesn’t get light headed on the way up.

It takes ALL of these features just for a giraffe to bend down to get a drink of water and raise back up! This puts evolution in a difficult position.
If the giraffe did not have a strong enough heart, it could not get blood to its brain and would not survive.
If the valves in the blood vessels did not contract and close off, too much blood would rush to the giraffe’s brain and it would not survive.
If the giraffe did not have the sponge like maze of blood vessels and did not have special vessels that could expand and contract and control blood pressure, the brain would be damaged and it would not survive.
So, evolutionists, which evolved first?
Every one of these parts has to work together FLAWLESSLY in order for the giraffe to survive.
Not having any one of these qualities right from the get go, would be fatal.
Giraffes are but one fine example among many many thousands that show they were purpose built for their diet and environment right from the start.
Anything after that is merely ADAPTION, which has been cleverly factored in to our DNA. DNA which has billions of combinations and an error correcting code to prevent anything changing from one KIND into another. Surprise.
Yes, DNA itself won't allow a fish to turn into a lizard. Or whatever. It allows for corruption, deformities and adaption, as it works by copying the original, but DNA has recently been found to be digital, not analog.
And the maths involved to work out the odds of DNA occurring by chance are so astronomically huge, so big, we need stacks of trillions to handle the zeros.
Of course, we are all aware that the scientific community regards as anything with odds of 10 to the power of 50 against ..... AS ABSURD. (impossible).
As another example, take our haemoglobin molecule, the odds of that occurring have been worked out to about 10 to the power of 605.
Again, way way over the international scientist benchmark for ABSURD.

Giraffes, etc, are in my opinion, proof of intelligent design and of a God who has the knowledge and power to make every single part of an organism work flawlessly, from the get go.
Organisms of such astronomically complex construction, detail, beauty and functionality.
NB: To assist you all, try looking up the complex Woodpecker, and the Bombadier Beetle. Astounding as the Giraffe, wouldn't you say?
Thank you for reading this far.
Hope this helps .....


10/4/2015 2:51:47 AM

KingOfRhye

Gee300:

"Even Hawkins states..."

Huh? Hawkins?? is that supposed to be Dawkins? Hawking? Justin Hawkins from the band The Darkness? Anyway, no scientist would use the phrase "it is still only a theory" seriously. (because they understand what that word means in science)

10/4/2015 10:32:55 AM

Anon-e-moose

@Gee(I have an IQ of) 0.03

...well, your 'God' hasn't appeared before me in physical form (and no, not Jesus, he's not allowed); even as Morgan Freeman in "Bruce Almighty", therefore you have failed to impress me, your Bible contains no chience whatsoever (otherwise it would mention Blu-Ray players), Evolution is proven fact, your 'God' doesn't exist, and you never had an 'intelligent' argument in the first place.

...as neither did Behe & co. in Kitzmiller vs. Dover, with their (un)'Intelligent Design': Cre(a)ti(o)nism by Stealth, which the Conservative Christian Judge John E. Jones III saw right through, and destroyed via his decision.

And copypasta via quote mining is no 'argument' in the first place, o Gee(I have an IQ of) 0.03.

...and now it is nearly 7 O'Clock, and time for the giraffe on top of your television set to explode.

Oh, intercourse the giraffe! [/Monty Python] X3

10/4/2015 6:55:17 PM

Kuno

Or all these features developed together as the circumstances and natural selection favoured increasingly taller giraffes/giraffe ancestors. You know, like the ToE predicts they would?

Oh, and if the giraffe is such a perfect example for “intelligent” design, please explain what God thought when he designed its laryngeal nerve the way it is. And why even when he gave it such a long neck, he couldn’t be bothered to give it more vertebrae than other species with shorter necks have. Or why he would generally design the giraffe in a way that it needs to do this to even drink water:



Or didn’t these things come up when you copy-and-pasted your list did your „research“ about the giraffe? What’s next, will you tell us about how Darwin said the eye couldn’t have been evolved?

DNA has recently been found to be digital, not analog.

To compare DNA to computer code is just a very superficial analogue. DNA still remains a molecule, reacting to its environment according to the rules of chemistry.

Of course, we are all aware that the scientific community regards as anything with odds of 10 to the power of 50 against ..... AS ABSURD. (impossible).

You wouldn’t have a source where the „scientific community“ says such a thing?

Giraffes, etc, are in my opinion, proof of intelligent design and of a God who has the knowledge and power to make every single part of an organism work flawlessly, from the get go.

Show me just one species of organism that works “flawlessly”. Just one.

10/7/2015 11:52:27 PM
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