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#1237821
Gawd
Somehow I just knew this was from a thread titled, "Praying for a husband".
12/25/2010 6:15:41 AM
#1237824
That's great and all, but last time I checked, you can't have sex with Jesus.
12/25/2010 6:19:17 AM
#1237825
fmitchell
I'll stick with my satisfying relationship with Wonder Woman, thanks.
12/25/2010 6:32:42 AM
#1237826
TGRwulf
Intimacy in a relationship often involves sex you kinky xian you!
12/25/2010 6:41:08 AM
#1237830
Serph-no-Okami
Ehm, I'm a guy and straight, so I'll just stick to my girlfriend, thanks. Besides, I thought you guys hated the ghey, so what's with this relationship with Jesus bit? Or are you only adressing women?
12/25/2010 6:46:30 AM
#1237832
jsonitsac
Kind of weird the way Acts5:41 is putting it, but this seems more like a statement of faith than anything fundie.
12/25/2010 6:58:29 AM
#1237833
Szena
More unintentional eroticism from RR.
12/25/2010 7:02:51 AM
#1237834
Horus IX
Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Imaginary Cosmic Best Friend! He will give you intimacy, warmth, and companionship you can only approximate with a REAL human! He NEVER fails; something that's important to me right now.
FIXED
12/25/2010 7:12:17 AM
#1237836
shadkat
Look, even if this whole Jesus thing was true and all, the relationship would be a bit one sided by normal human standards. Humans look for direct contact. With Jesus, you can talk to Him, and hope He's listening, but you don't know for sure, and He sure as hell won't keep up His end of the conversation. You can't touch Him, or be held by him, and anything more intimate is way out of the question...unless you go all Linda Blair as Regan on this, and that's just disturbing.
12/25/2010 7:24:07 AM
#1237837
Anon
When you are terminally ill, does Jesus then: Drive you to the hospital, hold your hand, take care for you (including preparing meals, wash your body when you aren't able to do anymore, change your clothes), and stays at your side in your last hours?
I and my father did all of this to my mother when she got terminal cancer.
Jesus didn't do anything of this. Sure, because he is nothing but an imaginary figure.
12/25/2010 7:28:54 AM
#1237841
mtgcostello
FAIL
12/25/2010 7:44:22 AM
#1237846
Evil Pirate Captain Mel
It looks like someone never outgrew the need for an imaginary friend. I pity you.
12/25/2010 7:57:39 AM
#1237848
Dexter
Intimacy? Really?
He'll never rub your back, he'll never hold your hand, no kisses and all that.
A relationship that dosn't exist outside of your imagination.
Intimacy? My ass...
12/25/2010 8:01:07 AM
#1237850
Doctor Whom
@#1237824
That's great and all, but last time I checked, you can't have sex with Jesus.
You mean you can't call out, "Oh, Jesus!" while masturbating? Hey, it makes as much sense as the rest of it does.
12/25/2010 8:03:56 AM
#1237851
Jezeus
...but can he make you cum?
12/25/2010 8:07:40 AM
#1237852
LDM
@jsonitsac
Believe me, Acts5:41 is as fundie as they come. All of her posts are about "handing out Jesus", and if her posts are to be believed, she pretty much spends every waling moment and every penny she has, on passing out bibles everywhere she goes.
12/25/2010 8:09:50 AM
#1237853
B K
Jesus love you... IN BED!
12/25/2010 8:24:25 AM
#1237854
Mihangel apYrs
just remember to wear a condom - he goews qith anyone who asks him
12/25/2010 8:33:40 AM
#1237855
The Lazy One
Honey, I might suggest that you get a decent download connection and find something nice to fap to, and then buy a vibrator or something. It might not be very warm and good company, but at least it will be slightly less depressing for you.
12/25/2010 8:37:17 AM
#1237868
PiGirl13
If you want to have a so-called relationship with a fictional character who you have to pretend is nicer than he is, become a Draco Malfoy fangirl.
12/25/2010 9:26:50 AM
#1237872
Brendan Rizzo
Does she want... to have SEX with JESUS?!
12/25/2010 9:50:28 AM
#1237879
Canadia
He's been failing for the past couple thousand years, actually, something about returning to life in his follower's lifetimes, still waiting.
12/25/2010 10:05:07 AM
#1237888
dionysus
That's nice, but what if you're a lonely man? Can you have a gay relationship with Jesus? Is fucking Jesus better than fucking a woman? Does Jesus give good head? Actually, since he's supposedly a 2000 year old virgin, I think I'll stick with women.
12/25/2010 10:23:24 AM
#1237893
D Laurier
What the fuck?
These people are fapping to their imaginary freind.
12/25/2010 10:37:02 AM
#1237896
feralboy12
Jesus: the ultimate inflatable fuck puppet.
12/25/2010 10:54:01 AM
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