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Tough choice. Do I snuggle up to my wife, or to a bloke who's been dead for two millennia?
Mmmm, sorry. Jesus loses. Again.
12/25/2010 10:57:22 AM
I had to look up Acts 5:41 - "And they [the apostles] departed from the presence of the [Sanhedrin] council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name." (KJV)
In other words: Hurrah, we get to be disgraced! FOR JEEBUS!
You're a creepy little creep, Acts.
12/25/2010 10:59:52 AM
Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis.
12/25/2010 11:10:56 AM
Always failed me.
But then I'm not looking for a husband.
12/25/2010 11:11:22 AM
So, that's why some people want Jesus to come in them?
This isn't at all fundie though, just another aspect of some Christian religion beliefs/sayings that is easily open to double entandre making.
12/25/2010 11:14:52 AM
You know honestly this one's not that fundie. This is the kind of thing a normal Christian might say. The only thing that makes this quote fundie is that its from Rapture Ready.
The accidental "sexual innuendo" is pretty funny though I gotta admit.
12/25/2010 11:50:33 AM
I hope this person is a woman..............well, I hope she´s not proyecting.
12/25/2010 12:23:01 PM
Just another sad, sad deluded person who can't get a date.
12/25/2010 12:23:51 PM
Jesus is now my waifu
12/25/2010 12:47:10 PM
Intimacy? Warmth? Pfft, I can't even get the dude to drive me to the airport.
12/25/2010 1:03:36 PM
Um, yeah, that's great if you like being celibate and all, but the rest of us have, you know, NEEDS.
12/25/2010 1:12:33 PM
Jesus: the ultimate inflatable fuck puppet.
Billion dollar idea, there, feral; inflatable Jesus.
You'd sell 100 million of them below the Mason/Dixon line alone.
> He NEVER fails; <
Macho J-man, always up for whatever.
12/25/2010 1:26:48 PM
I read about the afterlife
Sorry, I make a point not to be with men who only like me when I'm on my knees.
12/25/2010 1:34:40 PM
He's a ding-dong daddy from Dumas, you ought to see him do his stuff ...
He's a ring-tailed roarer from Horton's Corner, you ought to see him strut ...
12/25/2010 1:38:10 PM
What? Mary Magdalene's on the computer (okay, so I dig Gnosticism & the idea of Jesus & The Magdalene being a couple)?! It's a nice sentiment when taken non-literally or as a delaration of a celibacy vow but c'mon...
...A Jesus Sex Doll? That's...uh...interesting.
12/25/2010 2:04:32 PM
12/25/2010 2:12:30 PM
I've always suspected fanatical religious fervor was just sublimated sex. This kind of proves it.
12/25/2010 2:19:33 PM
Yeah, but does he take it from behind? No? Oh well, I guess he's not what I'm looking for.
12/25/2010 2:22:11 PM
Makes Harlequin novels look positively normal.
12/25/2010 2:25:10 PM
Puts "suffer the little children to come unto me" in a different perspective, doesn't it?
12/25/2010 3:18:24 PM
Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Neptune!
Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Thor!
Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: A unicorn!
Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Frodo Baggins!
You could put anything else supernatural/imaginary in there and it would still be the most ridiculously unsatisfying non-existant relationship ever.
I'll keep my real husband thanks.
12/25/2010 3:27:54 PM
He's also imaginary.
Congratulations on the placebo husband.
12/25/2010 3:29:08 PM
He will give you intimacy, warmth, and companionship you can only approximate with a human!
That's ok - I'll settle for an approximation. One that I can see and feel, and actually exists in reality. I'm not greedy.
12/25/2010 3:31:37 PM
Rat of Steel
"Remember the best and most satisfying relationship is already available: Frodo Baggins!"
*shrugs* Well, if you're gonna go with someone fictional, you could do far worse than someone played by Elijah Wood, who is rather cute, after all.
12/25/2010 3:34:06 PM
There's not a female alternative for lonely guys though.
(Insert advert for Tenga Flip-Hole).
12/25/2010 3:43:11 PM
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