Insane Troll Logic Award

Also known as raping logic.

Quote# 78372

Gay marriage is impossible. Congress and the courts and the president can not change this any more than they can change gravity.

unlearner, Free Republic 76 Comments [12/30/2010 4:26:39 AM]
Fundie Index: 116
Submitted By: DevilsChaplain

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Yeah, it's impossible- except for all the people who have done it.

12/30/2010 5:06:41 PM


Then why are you guys so desperately trying to stop it? If it's impossible then any law legalizing it won't actually mean anything.

DAMN! Shykid beat me too it.

12/30/2010 6:31:45 PM


Yes, because human social proscriptions and the features of matter are completely analogous.

We'll be outlawing the color green next, then where will we be? ANTIPHOTOSYNTHESIS!

12/30/2010 7:13:54 PM

Brendan Rizzo

lol WUT?

12/30/2010 8:49:55 PM


Didn't the courts in Kansas change evolution? So, by that logic, I'm pretty sure Congress and the courts can change gravity. But that's only in your fairy tale world.

12/30/2010 8:51:09 PM

Mr. Yellow

Hm...My pen's not floating off into space. I guess gay marriage IS impossible!

12/30/2010 10:02:15 PM


Suck on my ring finger
I'm living proof that you're an idiot

12/30/2010 11:13:50 PM


Oh my god, this post literally made me lol. I should be sad and outraged that anyone could be this stupid but this is (unintentional) comedy gold! And it's like the ultimate Chewbacca Defense because I don't even want to respond to it nor do I know where to begin.

12/31/2010 12:58:44 AM



Unlearner is living proof he's an idiot, too.

12/31/2010 1:15:10 AM


You're trying to have your cake and eat it too.

You can't say that something IS impossible by nature and then invest any energy in stopping the impossible thing from happening. It already isn't happening, because it's impossible. If you actually BELIEVE it's impossible, then leave the issue alone because it's never gonna happen anyway. It's like banning people from riding dragons.

12/31/2010 2:21:46 PM


Unlearner? Neverlearning, more like.

point 1, America is only a tiny portion of the globe. It's laws are generally of no consequence elsewhere.

Point 2. Yes. Just like there is a Santa Claus, there is gay marriage in plenty of places outside the US, and even within it.

Point 3. People who have such an unhealthy focus on the sex life of others are sick in the head. Get help! Urgently.

12/31/2010 5:34:16 PM


Impossible: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

12/31/2010 7:01:03 PM


I live in Canada, where same-sex marriage (stop calling it gay marriage, you think only gay people do same-sex marriage? Oh wait you don't acknowledge bisexuals, nevermind) has exactly the same legal status and validity as your "traditional" marriage. No change in gravity was noted. In fact, I didn't even know it had happened — or that is was really an issue (this was five years ago when I was 13) — until I saw two Canadian guys get married on one of those wedding shows (similar to A Wedding Story type thing).

Oh, and, kiss my parents' two married friends' asses. Nicer and more entertaining gals you couldn't find. Funny how almost all the gay people I know are also like the nicest and most laidback people I know.

And sorry, you oppose equal rights for them on...what grounds again? Oh right, none. They're not hurting anybody. In fact they might be making the world a better place (a particular Canadian study — can't be arsed to find it right now, so use your Googley eyes — shows that same-sex couples might possibly be marginally BETTER at parenting than "normal" couples). So what the fuck is your problem?

(Sorry to everybody else, I know this is pretty mild as far as bigotry goes, but I'm pissed off and I'm just venting it all on this person cuz they're never gonna read it. XD)

12/31/2010 10:58:28 PM


I have a gay cousin who got married.

1/1/2011 11:49:18 PM

J. Random Fuckhead

I stole your money, Dennis. RUN, MARKUZE, RUN!


1/15/2011 6:34:50 PM

I really don't like saying so on this forum, but the point is sound, if debatable. In the UK we have "civil partnerships" which give gay couples the same rights in law as husbands and wives, and hardly anyone bats an eyelid. They are sometimes referred to as "marriages" but that is not the official term.

A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman. A gay relationship is always going to be something else, and I have heard gay couples say that they don't WANT to be thought of as "married", because they see marriage as an exploitative institution. Others would disagree, but the argument here is at least partly semantic (although I realise that when you are dealing with screwballs like Free Republic ideology comes into it as well). Marriage is a heterosexual arrangement by definition. Of course gay couples should have equal rights, but the fact that they can't be married - because of what the word means - is one of the things that identifies them AS gay and some of them at least are proud of it.

1/16/2011 12:21:15 AM


You can learn more about postmodernism with guys like unlearner than reading 10000 essays on the subject.

1/17/2011 1:54:02 AM

Professor M

@ #1245775 --

You fail linguistics forever. Seriously.

1/17/2011 2:38:10 AM



I agree with Professor M. You're giving marriage an arbitrary definition. There's nothing about marriage which suggests that it is or should only be between a man and a woman. And whether or not gay people want to be married, or how they view the institution of marriage, has nothing to do with how marriage should be defined.

"Marriage is a heterosexual arrangement by definition."

Uh, no. That contingency may be present in some definitions (it's in the main definition in my Apple Dictionary — but in secondary definitions it ALSO mentions same-sex unions), but it is not at the core of what marriage is. Plus you're starting to sound like the homophobes, although I can tell you're "on our side".

But yeah, seriously, your whole "by definition" thing fails.

3/27/2011 3:45:30 PM


Canada already proved you wrong almost a decade ago. Go cry.

4/13/2012 12:43:59 AM



4/16/2012 5:43:06 AM

Looks like someone's wrong then.

4/16/2012 4:28:08 PM

Try having homosexual sex and marrying. Try, on the other hand, jumping from a skyscrapper. See the difference?

2/17/2013 5:51:39 AM


Unfortunately saw a video with the same damn premise. Was just as unbelievable.

2/17/2013 4:46:18 PM


Changing gravity?
Working on it!

7/19/2013 9:06:49 PM

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