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Quote# 79105

The Incident: A certain woman has been trying to destroy my family with discord, violence and sickness through witchcraft and not natural means. When a certain family member happens to visit our house we apparently fall sick. So was natural that we thought he was praying curses over us (he also indulges into the occult and witchcraft time and again). But at a prayer meeting yesterday the Lord shone His light over the situation and gave a lady a vision of this woman who was cursing me. The best part of it, however, is that she was all shaken and trembling and saying the name of Jesus is too much for me to bear. She bowed down at the name of Jesus. Wow! Praise the name of Jesus. There’s power!

scribecorner, Scriberita 72 Comments [1/30/2011 3:00:41 PM]
Fundie Index: 84
Submitted By: Robert
WTF?! || meh
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Lucilius

Why do I suspect the woman was trembling because scribecorner came at her in some kind of fundie witch-doctor outfit, screaming incoherently and waving a crucifix? I'd say anything necessary to be let out of the house at that point.

1/30/2011 3:11:55 PM

Botulism!

Ah, yes-- Jesus fanfiction! Always a crowd-pleaser, assuming your crowd is a pack of incurious, pseudomystical ninnies.

I would bet all the sand in Texas that none of this actually happened.

1/30/2011 3:21:20 PM

Atheissimo

I have a vision coming now as a matter of fact, it's one of you making shit up.

Must be true then, right?

1/30/2011 3:21:21 PM

Doctor Whom

So everyone in your circle of acquaintances is a loon? How nice.

1/30/2011 3:47:18 PM

Reverend Jeremiah

The Evidence: Please provide some or you just made this story up.

1/30/2011 3:58:24 PM

Cy

"She bowed down at the name of Jesus" = "She was doubled up either with laughter or with the effort of resisting her urge to laugh".

1/30/2011 4:07:03 PM

Prof. Bill Hill

The name of Jesus is power indeed. The mere mention of His name or that of His Father can completely empty a room and send everyone scurrying for cover in the nearest pub. That's power for you.

1/30/2011 4:29:10 PM



You apparently fall sick and you assume it's a curse. Your assumption was "proven" false by an alleged vision had by a woman apparently suffering some kind of seizure.

Wow. Compelling.

1/30/2011 4:30:17 PM

SpukiKitty

Are you sure the guy didn't have some contagious disease, srubdecorner?

1/30/2011 4:32:51 PM

Brianisha

You are physically i------ahh fuck it, why bother treating physical illness when you need to be beaten over the head with your goddamn bible. (This coming from a Pagan mind you)

As far as the shaking woman goes, Id be shaking too because of witchburning fundies like yourself. I bet you made the part up about her bowing down.

1/30/2011 4:35:08 PM

Gordon Godsboy

I tell you what, I bet you've never seen anything as amazing as my friend Gobbo, he's got one leg shorter than the other. Or rather, he did have. Now they're both the same length.

It happened one night down the pub.
I said, "Do you fancy another pint Gobbo?"
"Nah!", he said. "I'm off home now"
And he hobbled off out in to the night.

Next thing we heard a mighty scream followed by "Jeesus Christ!!!!"
We rushed out and there was Gobbo lying half on the road and half on the pavement and a steamroller lumbering away into the night. Miraculously, both of Gobbo's legs were now the same length - 3 inches.

1/30/2011 4:40:38 PM

shykid

And I had a vision you're being an irrational nutbar.

1/30/2011 4:42:27 PM

jas43

you do hella hallucinogens

1/30/2011 4:48:04 PM

Alencon

Right...sounds like a good time for a little diplomacy.

You know "diplomacy," that's the art of saying "nice doggie" while you reach for a big rock.

1/30/2011 4:58:10 PM

Old Viking

I used to do the shaking and trembling bit after a hard night's drinking.

1/30/2011 5:04:17 PM



Wouldn't it be natural that you'd assume that "certain family member" had a problem and needed to take better steps to avoid getting and spreading germs?

1/30/2011 5:24:56 PM

Matante

When reading this post, I have a vision of a bully backing an old lady against a wall and terrorising her. Smooth, Scribe, smoooooth.

1/30/2011 5:31:47 PM

anevilmeme

Cast a level 4 healing spell and shut the fuck up.

1/30/2011 5:40:49 PM

Sasha

You know, if everyone in your home washes their hands regularly, that "sickness" in your family will probably disappear.

All hail the concept of Hygiene! Now there's REAL power!

1/30/2011 5:46:23 PM

Fedup

Sounds like she was pretty smart. She knew you were about five minutes from trial by dunking

1/30/2011 5:56:07 PM

nazani14

- and for just $3,000., this visionary lady will break the spell which is upon you and imprison the bad luck demons in a egg.

1/30/2011 5:57:02 PM



"My dysfunctional family couldn't possibly be anything to do with me! I'll blame the batty old lady down the road instead!"

Yeah. This always ends well.

1/30/2011 6:21:23 PM

Evilution Teacher

Logic 101 Correlation =/= causation You attacked a family member over a perceived coincidence. Nice.

1/30/2011 6:26:08 PM

John_in_Oz

Since you find that to be compelling evidence, you'll no doubt be delighted to learn that Jesus wants you to buy a bridge from me.

1/30/2011 6:29:28 PM

TGRwulf

I don't know wheter(sp?) to ask for a citation or to tell this guy he's completely nuts. Or both.

1/30/2011 6:32:17 PM
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