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Quote# 79279

People have been harassed by "Aliens" but they immediately went away when they called on the name of Jesus Christ (if you didn't know, Jesus Christ is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords which only through Jesus you can be saved and has all authority in heaven and Earth). It's also interesting that people who have been communicated with these "aliens" are getting a bunch of Satanic New Age drivel not much unlike what the New Age gurus that you see on Oprah teach.

UFOs and Aliens are really demons. If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck... it's a duck.

I believe Aliens will be used to explain the rapture of believers of Jesus Christ. New Agers will say that they have been transported to another galaxy or something. Satan has been planning this for a long time.

I also believe a false alien invasion will be used to fool the world to attack Jerusalem: "And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty." (Rev. 16:13, 14)

The frogs John saw could very well be the iconic gray alien. John wrote the Book of Revelation 2000 years, he didn't know any other way to describe them.

ThrowItUp, IMDB 63 Comments [2/6/2011 5:21:02 AM]
Fundie Index: 84
Submitted By: Doctor Flibble
WTF?! || meh
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Anget

lolwut?

2/6/2011 5:24:26 AM





2/6/2011 5:29:57 AM

grimsoncrow

Well, if I saw a UFO, I might go "Jesus Christ!!" So then they would leave me alone...
How handy!



2/6/2011 5:31:37 AM

KR

Love your nick dude, you just simply threw up this vomit of a text for our amusement. Thanks!

2/6/2011 5:32:30 AM



Ok, sorry to cut you, first DEMONSTRATE that aliens exist.

2/6/2011 5:39:02 AM

Blue_J

Or, it could be that both alien abductions and demonic visitations only exist in the minds of the people experiencing them. That may be too parsimonious, though.

2/6/2011 5:47:58 AM

Matante

I hate it when I visit another planet and an alien whispers the name of its god and BAM I wake up back home.

2/6/2011 5:58:34 AM

C_V


just goes to show that those who believe in one kind of fantasy will readily believe in another.

2/6/2011 6:15:02 AM

Pule Thamex

" ....if you didn't know, Jesus Christ is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords which only through Jesus you can be saved and has all authority in heaven and Earth"

Gosh! No, I didn't know that. That has taken me by surprise. I shall have to re-evaluate all my previously held convictions forthwith. And all because of a few words spoken by a kindly and concerned soul, ThrowItUp.

Already, ThrowItUp's remarkable proofs are starting to take effect. My life is beginning to change. This very morning, I felt an almost uncontrollable desire to tell lies. The desire to delude both myself and others was practically overwhelming. And over breakfast, as I masticated my boiled egg and soldiers, the seeds of hatred began to take hold, I suddenly felt an irrational urge to persecute minorities and anyone else who didn't believe in the same things as ThrowItUp, or me. Just then, a blob of yolk trickled down my chin.

Things are shaping-up nicely. Next week, I'm hoping to be a fully-fledged bird of pray, and will swoop like an avenging eagle onto the heads of atheists, raking out their eyes with my talons. Yes! Yes! Jesus! Yes! Lord Jesus! This is exciting indeed! Hooray!! Amen! Halelujah!! Thanks O Mighty Lord!! Yippee!!! I'm becoming retarded!! Yeah!! Super Yeah!! Christ!! Jesus!!

PS. Normal service will resume once the Jesus novelty wears off.

2/6/2011 6:16:46 AM

Atheissimo

''If it talks like a duck''

Wut?

Sounds like you might have been on whatever it is that's making people see Aliens and Jesus. Are talking Ducks disguised Demons as well?

Arm the Holy hand grenade!

2/6/2011 6:24:30 AM

G.Fieendish

So Satan's stolen the plot synopsis of Quatermass IV, to use as his "Cunning Plan", then...?
As for Jerusalem, which part are you referring to, or in your viewpoint, has the Palestinian population of East Jerusalem been "forcibly repatriated" from their homes, beforehand...?

2/6/2011 6:41:19 AM



Gimpo Pop Eyes (as though it matters)

"If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck... it's a duck."

Oh yeah! I get it! Like, if it talks like an alien, walks like an alien ... it's a duck.

OK, I think I'm getting the hang of this now. Let's see:-

If it talks like a retard, walks like a retard... it's a duck.

2/6/2011 6:43:26 AM

The Grey Blolb

The iconic gray aliens could very well be frogs. Retards have been proliferating for ever, they didn't know any other way to describe them.

2/6/2011 6:53:11 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck... it's a duck.

But if it flies like a UFO or it probes like an alien, it's actually a demon?

Tip: don't use trite sayings to make your point.
Protip: don't use trite sayings that contradict your point to make your point.

2/6/2011 7:01:46 AM

Anon

Well, another interesting example where we can learn a lot how the human brain works.

Our brain is programmed evolutionary to find patterns. When confronted with randomness and sheer nonsense, the brain tries desperately to find any pattern which corresponds even marginally with the nonsense.

In this case, the nonsense is the book of revelation. This biblical book has no meaning. But people throughout the ages tried desperately to find any meaning in it. Like our fundie here, who tries to match the modern myths of UFOs with the book of revelation.

2/6/2011 7:09:21 AM

aaa

Congratulations, you are a goldmine of hilarity!

2/6/2011 7:35:11 AM

Doubting Thomas

OK, but be sure to take the little white pills every day, even if you start to feel better.

And seriously, quoting a crazy part of Revelation to back up your crazy ideas? Usually it's crazy enough when someone uses the bible to back up their craziness, but this is just priceless.

*edit* Ever notice how nobody ever mentioned the "greys" with large eyes until after Close Encounters of the Third Kind came out?

2/6/2011 7:36:16 AM

Mudak

@Doubting Thomas, are you implying that there's a part of Revelation that's not crazy? I wasn't aware that such a passage existed.

2/6/2011 7:39:18 AM

I read about the afterlife

BAHAHAHA. I loved the "If you didn't know..." Dude, pretty much at this point everyone has heard of Hay-Zeus Kreesto.

2/6/2011 7:41:28 AM

jas43

jesus and aliens = DMT

educate your fucking self

2/6/2011 7:56:44 AM

Horsefeathers

"(if you didn't know, Jesus Christ is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords which only through Jesus you can be saved and has all authority in heaven and Earth)"

Fascinating. I'd never heard of this "Jesus Christ" fellow before. Tell me, does anyone else know of his wondrous deeds? How come no one has bothered to write a book about such an incredible person?

/sarcasm

"It's also interesting that people who have been communicated with these "aliens" are getting a bunch of Satanic New Age drivel not much unlike what the New Age gurus that you see on Oprah teach."

Yes. Interesting that a bunch of people who are almost certainly delusional or emotionally unstable to begin with are attracted to a movement that allows such people to feel that they belong. Amazing, that.

"UFOs and Aliens are really demons. If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck... it's a duck."

I don't recall any Bible passages describing demons as flying around in little metal saucers, performing forceful medical examinations and being about 4ft. tall, gray, with large black eyes and ungainly head proportions.

Maybe you could point that passage out to me.

"I believe Aliens will be used to explain the rapture of believers of Jesus Christ. New Agers will say that they have been transported to another galaxy or something. Satan has been planning this for a long time."

I believe you're a gullible fucking fruit loop. The difference is, I have evidence to support my position.

"I also believe a false alien invasion will be used to fool the world to attack Jerusalem"

Aside from you nuts, the Jews that live there and their neighbors in the country next door, nobody gives a fuck about Israel/Jerusalem.

2/6/2011 7:56:53 AM

Percy Q. Shunn




2/6/2011 8:07:34 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Is this about that story of a UFO over Jerusalem? It's probably just what every other UFO has been-- a misinterpretation of a perfectly mundane object. The Israelis are no more immune to pareidolia than anyone else. (As an aside, I don't think that popular portrayals of grey aliens look anything like frogs-- if the author of Revelation meant grey aliens, he could have said grey humans with no hair or something. Since he didn't, it is obvious that you are pulling this exegesis out of your ass.)

But anyway, can't you just believe that people who claim to have been abducted by aliens are just insane, like rational people think?

2/6/2011 8:38:38 AM

LAchlan

Did John not write the book of Revelations whilst staying on an island covered in magic mushrooms?

2/6/2011 8:49:43 AM

dionysus

If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck...IT'S A DEMON!!! KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT!!! Oh wait, it was just a duck. Aw crap, farmer Brown ain't gonna be too happy about this.

2/6/2011 9:41:32 AM
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