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Quote# 79568

[re: naming it Conservative Bible Project or Conservapedia Bible Project]

But I feel that "conservative" is an important term to continue to use in connection with this project. It indicates that we're not going to be fooled by, or allow, liberal distortions of the Bible.

Liberal politics is having too negative an effect on Christianity. Our "conservative" Bible project is one important way to negate the liberal distortions. Look at how much liberals have complained about it. That's a good sign.

In Christ,

Andy

Andy Schlafly, Conservaleaks 72 Comments [2/20/2011 5:24:39 AM]
Fundie Index: 74
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
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yeah all those pesky liberal ideas that keep getting in the way of the true bible... like helping the poor, rich people and corporations don't need a break, don't go to pointless wars...

hell if Jesus was to return today you True Christians (TM) would be the ones re-crucifying him as a liberal anti-christ

2/21/2011 3:17:17 AM

whatever

Proposed changes include:

In 4004BC God created the Heavens and the Earth.

Blessed are the warmongers for they shall inherit the earth.

Love thy neighbour as long as he is a white English-speaking heterosexual Christian fundie...

Come on guys, let's give Andy a hand, we've had so much exposure to fundie Christianity we could probably do it all for him. Maybe even better than he can himself.

Personally, I can't wait for the bits about quantum theory!

2/21/2011 3:47:51 AM

Lpopman

I think I can safely say that we all know that assfleisch's agenda is to be a cuntservative arsehole.

As for those going WTF at the Conservaleaks name, please be aware that it is a site containing leaked documents from CP. It's not an assfly site.

2/21/2011 3:58:01 AM

Mister Spak

"Look at how much liberals have complained about it."

We aren't complaining, we're pointing and laughing.


While you're rewriting books, would you care to take a crack at the koran?

2/21/2011 8:13:23 AM

FMG

Wait so you are human beings rewriting a supposedly divine source according to your views because you think the bible is too liberal?

And you expect it to be taken as a theological argument of value?


2/21/2011 8:58:43 AM

Anon-e-moose

@NoriMori

"@Iczer-four

Most awesome pic EVER. I don't think I've even seen that episode yet. XD Doesn't look familiar. But totally awesome."

I can highly recommend "Ouran High School Host Club" to anyone who likes comedy anime. That particular episode - 22 - was when Tamaki & co were 'cosplaying' (for their clients) as Meiji-era 'Rurouni Kenshin'-esque samurai, letting said clients wildly fantasise about who they wanted them to be (before 'Mori' Morinozuka was approached by 'Casanova' Kasanoda, heir to a Yakuza clan).

"OHSHC" is an anime that would make Andy Schaftafly's head asplode, what with it's theme of gender politics (coupled with the implied yaoi; the Hitachiin Twins >:D )

'Liberal politics'? You have no idea...!

2/21/2011 9:54:17 AM

Papabear

"But I feel that "conservative" is an important term to continue to use in connection with this project. It indicates that we're not going to be influenced by good sense or facts." Fixed.


2/21/2011 10:14:37 AM

John_in_Oz

Apropos of conservaleaks, my web browsing indicates it's a project by rationalwiki to document some of Andy's greatest all-time fail.
I could be mistaken since the webpages I read were written by people who already knew what was going on, and saw no need to explain it to each other, but that's what I got.

2/21/2011 10:28:42 AM



Sorry, in which Christ?, is he TOO LIBERAL for you?. Were the Fathers of the Church of the fourth century AD too liberal?. Give me a break, total moron

2/21/2011 10:31:28 AM

Dr. Shrinker

Jesus himself warned his followers about "scribes." I wonder if Andy's cut that part of the bible out too.

2/21/2011 11:22:22 AM

LadyJafaria

Conservaleaks is hilarious you guys. Seriously if you haven't clicked the link yet you should.

My favorite is when they keep calling site vandalism "terrorism." (It's a common thread of the 2007 archives, since they had some well-deserved trolls.) For one thing, it's not even against the law, and for another thing, wouldn't you think conservatives wouldn't want to devalue a good scary word like terrorism by saying any fool who posts Goatse on a wiki is doing it?

2/21/2011 6:42:37 PM

B K

Conservaleaks? You really are an unimaginative attention whore, aren't you, Andy?

2/22/2011 2:09:14 AM

Raised by Horses

@mabus

If you're just trolling, you need more practice.

If you're serious, seek therapy.

2/22/2011 4:30:49 AM

Canadia

Everyone disagrees with me, I must be correct.

2/22/2011 9:55:12 AM

Doubting Thomas

Conservative bible rewrite of the sermon on the mount:

Blessed are the poor, as long as they get jobs and don't sit around waiting for a welfare check.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Unless the dead guy was a flaming homosexual, at which they'll be constantly reminded that he's burning in hell.

Blessed are the loud & obnoxious, for they will inherit a congregation to preach to.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice, for we will have the death penalty.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Unless they're evil liberals.

Blessed are they who vote Republican, because that's what I, Jesus, wants.

Blessed are the warmongers, for they will be secure oil for the children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of conservatism, because the more those evil liberals hate you, the more right you are.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because when you get to heaven you'll get to laugh at them burning for eternity down in Hell.

2/22/2011 10:34:40 AM

elphada

They want to study ancient languages as if 1 week of study with a church elder will make them a master linguist and biblical scholar. Looks like they're into the grape juice vs. wine controversy. Personally a fine single malt is a suitable replacement.

2/23/2011 2:11:23 PM

Greasetrap The Viking

"the translation from the 17th century English of the KJV to modern English ... will have the added benefit of gaining a new generation of Christians as they discover the meanings of the Bible through the study of the ancient languages"

i think this part speaks for itself


2/24/2011 3:52:21 PM

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

Trust me, Andy, they're not "complaining." They're "laughing."

2/27/2011 8:47:53 PM

Anon-e-moose

I thought hyper-fundies such as Andy Schaftafly were supposed to disapprove of homosexuality, yet he always says:

"In Christ"

Subconscious hardon for doing your J-man up the arse eh, Andy?!

We don't need to be Freud to figure you out, eh?!

>:D

2/28/2011 10:57:23 AM

GigaGuess

Our "conservative" Bible project is one important way to negate the liberal distortions.
I reject your distortions and substitute my own?

2/28/2011 1:19:08 PM

NoriMori

@Anon-e-moose

Lol, you don't need to recommend it to me, man, I already freaking love that show!

And from your description I now know that I *have* seen that episode. XD (Incidentally it's the latest episode I've seen.) But I don't remember it too well due to only having seen it once. XD

Seriously, though... *Such* a good show! And you're right, it would make his head explode. In fact, Japanese manga in general would make his head explode... So liberal, especially considering how conservative the Japanese are regarded to be... XD Here people call for censoring any novel that even depicts a gay person in a positive light, there they've got really explicit yaoi/yuri and no one thinks anything of it... XD

3/9/2011 10:26:36 PM



So where in this new Bible does Jesus say "Thy right to beareth arms shalt not be infringed"?

8/15/2011 11:37:41 AM
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