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Quote# 79619

Cecil left the hospital on a Wednesday and full recovery was an hour-by-hour situation. Some pains returned with constipation striking some fear into him. On Sunday morning Cecil began to see what the Lord was trying to show him and he began to do self-deliverance. The demons began to stir in his abominable area and actually “growled” as they were called out in the name of Jesus. After some 20 minutes of prayer and deliverance Cecil’s system “cleaned out” and he was back to normal. The next Sunday he again began self-deliverance and again there was intense growling and difficulty in expelling the demonic spirits, with gasping, throat trying to close, extreme gagging and coughing. But a number of demons came out.

Paul Nowlen, Free in the Lord Minisitries 94 Comments [2/22/2011 4:29:24 AM]
Fundie Index: 94
WTF?! || meh
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elphada

Somebody tell me this is a joke.

2/23/2011 2:00:29 PM

clockworkgirl21


2/23/2011 2:02:20 PM

Dirty Homo

I took this whole thing as a masturbation joke.

2/24/2011 1:09:15 AM

Raised by Horses

@Anon-e-moose

'kay... um..

We, the rest of the FSTDT community love you and all, but damn, your posts are TL;DR.

Let's not forget: Brevity is the soul of wit.

2/24/2011 3:07:16 AM

Anon-e-moose

@Raised by Horses

"Let's not forget: Brevity is the soul of wit."

Good point - or in this case, the arsoul of wit.

...I'll get my coat.

X3

2/24/2011 9:42:14 AM

Sionnach

Please help me my infant daughters diaper is full of demons. I can tell you for sure it's demons by the growls and horrifying odor. I'm so scared for her. I've been praying for an hour to the Almighty for deliverance but the diaper is still full. My poor baby must be full of these foul beasts because all she's done is cry and throw herself around. Send us your prayers and your money. It's the only way to ensure her salvation. Thank you. And Dog bleach you.

2/24/2011 3:58:43 PM

bbqburrito

I can completely identify with this.
As a matter of fact, I had one of those shits just a couple of hours ago.

2/25/2011 7:18:38 AM

truthinScience

"…he began to do self-deliverance." Is that fundie code for something else?

2/26/2011 3:21:44 AM

Brendan Rizzo

@ Anon-e-moose:

How the hell do you manage to type posts that long? Even my longest posts were much shorter than that, and yet they were marked as spam (not to mention that they had no pictures.)

And how ironic that you mention Panty and Stocking... my friends have watched it, but I myself have not gotten around to it... hahaha!

2/26/2011 6:40:41 PM

LB

Poop = demons?

Ah, this explains everything! All those demons and evil things the fundies claim to see on a regular basis... it's just because they're -regular-!

2/26/2011 8:37:21 PM

Drax

Gotta be poe. But funny.

2/27/2011 3:45:41 PM

Shadoboy

Those demons have a collective name: diharrea.

3/9/2011 11:51:53 PM

Anon-e-moose

@Brendan Rizzo

"@ Anon-e-moose:

How the hell do you manage to type posts that long? Even my longest posts were much shorter than that, and yet they were marked as spam (not to mention that they had no pictures.)"

PROTIP: Type out your comment (say, on Notepad) beforehand. Post a certain amount of said text as normal. Then click 'Edit Comment' and copypasta the rest of your comment underneath your original text. Then click on 'Edit Comment' button. Et voila! Yours is now longer than before.

...and said post has your full comment too. X3

[/Finbarr Saunders]

A Gratuitous Double-Entendre a day keeps the seriousness away.

3/10/2011 9:49:07 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Miralax would have helped.

6/23/2011 12:54:33 AM



Where those the demons of Saturday night bingedrinking and junkfood-eating?

6/23/2011 1:04:19 AM

Eniliad

Hey, if I were constipated, the sudden relief would sure as hell FEEL like demons coming out. Doesn't mean they are, of course.

1/21/2012 5:49:42 PM

Justanotheratheist

So demons are just a load of shit.

Just as I had suspected all along.

1/21/2012 10:30:52 PM

Quantum Mechanic

"abominable area"

Indeed.

Gene pool needs more chlorine.

1/27/2012 11:08:31 AM

VioletBeauregarde

Paul, sweetie, that "demonic growling" was bowel sounds!

9/27/2012 1:13:50 PM
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