JSTACAT #fundie

JSTACAT #fundie fark.com

(On Indiana's constitutional same-sex marriage ban)

I am very, very , extremely happy bout this Ace move by Indiana.
This wisdom will spread, since each state would like to reduce the possibility of their state getting the Judgment of God, before others do.

You see, a lot of folks, believers or not, simply do not want to tempt God in any possible way, when we already face world destructive events.

When the leadership begins to support, aid and abet iniquity, that is when God allows the judgment to occur.
Read the books of Chronicals, Kings etc to see the deeper details how kingdoms rise and fall.

See why States leaders might want to "clean up"

62 comments

old comment by dionysus

But why stop at gay marriage? You're half-assing it! Your laziness is going to bring judgment upon us all! We need to outlaw all other abominations such as cheeseburgers, shrimp, elastic underwear, rare and medium rare steaks, tattoos, shaved hair, and most importantly working on Sunday (it doesn't matter if you need to go buy food or if your appendix just burst, there is to be NO working on the sabbath so you'll just have to wait until Monday). All of these are equally heinous sins.

EDIT: Actually, I'm wrong. Working on Sunday is WORSE than homosexuality as that commandment was selected as one of the top ten, written in stone, by god's own hand! And while we're on the subject of the Ten Commandments, we need to outlaw coveting too. So if you catch yourself going to your friend's house and thinking "MAN I wish I had a TV like that!", report yourself to the nearest police station.

old comment by Horsefeathers

"This wisdom will spread, since each state would like to reduce the possibility of their state getting the Judgment of God, before others do."

Before others do? So, they're all going to get it in the end anyway, right? Then what the hell difference does it make if they allow gay marriage or not?

"You see, a lot of folks, believers or not, simply do not want to tempt God in any possible way, when we already face world destructive events."

Says the tribal shaman sitting around a campfire 20,000 years ago.

Seriously. Grow the fuck up.

"When the leadership begins to support, aid and abet iniquity, that is when God allows the judgment to occur."

Yeah, yeah. You'd fit right in sometime in the 12th century.

"Read the books of Chronicals, Kings etc to see the deeper details how kingdoms rise and fall."

Just as they always have--either through conquest or economic/political collapse.

"See why States leaders might want to 'clean up'"

No.

Then again, I'm not a simpleton.

@Percy Q. Shunn:

Excellent image! Unfortunately, if Jesus himself appeared and pointed that out to these people they'd call him a heretic, the Anti Christ and a "false prophet" just before attempting to beat him to death with their Bible that they worship so.

old comment by John

Fundie Beliefs # 27 - The Consequences of Failure to Obey God's Law ®

Failure to obey God's Law can have far-reaching consequences. God hates sinners, of course, but He often strikes godly people just for standing nearby*. Going to the same school, or living in the same state or even the same country as a sinner can attract God’s wrath. For example, it’s well-known that U.S. soldiers even good evangelicals are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan because the U.S. refuses to outlaw homosexuality**. That’s why it’s important to phone death threats, kill their dogs and burn crosses on the lawns of atheists and beat up gays and tie them to fence posts to freeze to death*** so God knows you’re on His team and not theirs.

Also, remember that ever since Kentucky Homeland Security gave God His proper credit for protecting them, there have been no terrorist attacks in Kentucky. It’s true that adding "under God" to the Pledge and putting "In God We Trust" on its money hasn’t given the same protection to the rest of the U.S., but that’s because their good work has been negated by all the atheists, gays and liberals**** griping about it.

* The blasphemous suggestion that God is nearsighted is ridiculous.
** See, for example, the teachings of the Westboro Baptist Church.
*** Just remember to steal the little fruit’s wallet, so good Southern conservative senators can claim it was just a robbery, not a "hate crime". See “plausible deniability”.
**** Actually, that’s redundant, since as we know, all liberals are gay atheists.

old comment by Wehpudicabok

(God looks over the United States, reviews the actions taken by each state legislature over the past congressional term, calculating Piety Quotients...)

God: Yes, it's true, Indiana has been a good little state this year. I'll have to amend the Kill Them All With Huge Tornadoes Plan to make sure that the tornadoes specifically avoid Indiana. I'll have to mark the border with some sort of tornado barrier so that the tornado only hits those sinful Illinois residents and not any of their me-fearing Indiana citizens. It may look like the only difference between them is two miles between their houses, but really, half are going to Hell and half to Heaven!

old comment by Murf

Question for the Fundie:

WHY IS IT THAT YOU BLAME EVERYTHING ON THE GAYS? Including the fall of kingdoms and cities. Sodom and Gomorrah would still have been destroyed if the angels had presented them as female and been threatened -- I know that, if I were God, I'd be more pissed off at the fact that my beloved "good" subject offered to give up his daughters to a mob of rapists rather than a group of rapists wanting to sex up my angels. Job was an asshole.

Also, here's something that I find incredibly amusing -- the fall of the Roman empire fell *after* the emperors converted to Christianity. I'm pretty sure that God, if he was letting Rome decline due to her luxuriant and sensual and sometimes brutal ways, he would have saved them once they'd repented.

JSTACAT #fundie fark.com

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