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Quote# 80582

Satan wants you to know that you are a good person. You have never killed anyone, so you will still go to Heaven. You worship A god. Oh and by the way dont worry, there is no such thing as Hell. And Even if there was- a loving, gracious, and merciful God would never send you there anyway, and even if he did, its not permanent.

God wants you to know that you are not a good person. Being angry at someone is just the same as killing them. There is only one true God, and only one way to get to Heaven. Yes there is a such thing as Hell. No, it wasnt created for you, but in your unbelief in the one person that can save you, he will send you there. And yes it is permanent.

cheymat, Rapture Ready 141 Comments [4/12/2011 3:29:47 AM]
Fundie Index: 123
WTF?! || meh
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Mudak

Remind me, then, why Satan is the bad guy yet god is the good one?

4/12/2011 3:33:37 AM



So, Humpty Dumpty, what do the words “loving”, “gracious”, and “merciful” mean when you use them? Sounds like they’re doing enough work that you need to pay them extra.

4/12/2011 3:37:01 AM

Rapax Pringer

Y'know, this Satan person sounds like a swell chap.

And really, why do you guys like painting God as a complete asshole? That... isn't really the way to win a lot of converts.

4/12/2011 3:38:30 AM

Cid Highwind

I'll root for Satan then, I guess... cause your God seems kinda like a douche.

4/12/2011 3:38:47 AM

Mog

"Being angry at someone is just the same as killing them."

So why don't we prosecute people for being angry in the first degree?

Thoughts aren't crimes, as much as you'd like it to be that way. Actions are.

"No, it wasnt created for you, but in your unbelief in the one person that can save you, he will send you there."

Bullshit. It's not like your god sends people to your theoretical hell by accident. It's not like his hands were tied by the higher-ups. Why did he make hell if he intended for no one to ever go there? If you believe in your omnipotent, omniscient god and your hell, to be internally consistent you have to believe that he created hell fully intending to damn people to it — and that he creates people fully intending to damn them. How is that worthy of worship?

4/12/2011 3:39:40 AM

From the frozen north, Death cometh

Well... It's quite clear whose team I'm in then. :)

4/12/2011 4:07:12 AM

Katherine Lorraine

Hmm... I think I like this Satan fellow. He certainly sounds a lot nicer than this God chap.

Also, Christian thought policing, yay.

4/12/2011 4:10:33 AM

Anon2

Reminds me of a joke:

"A nonbeliever dies, and is sent to hell. There he is greeted by a friendly devil. He is shown around. There are restaurants with fancy food, bars, amusements, nice parks with singing birds, and everybody is having a good time discussing philosophy, strolling around, or just sitting lazy in the sun sipping cocktails.

He is thoroughly confused, and asks the devil: 'But... what about eternal tortures? Fire? Brimstone? Do you have at least a torture chamber here?'

The devil replies: 'Ah, the torture chamber. Yes, we have one, I nearly forgot. But only because the church insisted on it."

4/12/2011 4:18:08 AM

SpukiKitty

cheymat, your demiurge is a douche & is a poor vicious parody of the real Godhead, who's more like the first example.
If anyone is "The Devil", it's the faux-YHWH AntiGod that Abrahamic believers unwittingly but so willingly worship.

4/12/2011 4:26:25 AM

Vagus

Verily, your God is a bit of a bastard.

4/12/2011 4:27:33 AM

Orion

"Thoughts aren't crimes"

A common misconception. There is the crime of "conspiracy to commit..."
Which involves no action, merely requires evidence of serious intent (thought) to commit a crime.

4/12/2011 4:28:11 AM

Raised by Horses



And people wonder why Atheists question faith.

4/12/2011 4:38:30 AM

Necronomikron

Sounds to me like Satan is a swell guy and God is an asshole by your descriptions there.

4/12/2011 4:38:49 AM

Mister Spak

So if you don't kill people you go to hell, but if you hate people, which is the same as killing them(how many homos have you killed today?)you go to heaven.

Now do you understand why we think you're batshit insane?

4/12/2011 4:41:38 AM

grimsoncrow

OOps! I just killed you...

4/12/2011 4:51:52 AM

Hasher

God's a right dickhead, isn't he?

4/12/2011 5:07:33 AM

breakerslion

And yet, as powerful a boojum as you believe either of these magic beings to be, they need puny little scary you to tell me that.

Reason wants you to know that the voices in your head are NOT super-beings. You should take up a hobby, like collecting cats.

4/12/2011 5:09:02 AM

dionysus

You're a Satanist trying to convert me, is that it? Holy crap, you're just as bad as the Christians who always try to tell me how wonderful god is and how he's full of love and all that jazz. Listen, if you want me to convert I need evidence, not to hear how awesome your object of worship is, and another thing...wait a second...Rapture Ready? Then why are you advertising for Satan? What? You say you're actually advertising for god? How does that make any...oh, wait, that's right. You PREFER worshiping a total douche. Silly me.

4/12/2011 5:20:52 AM

Table Rock

Being angry at someone is just the same as killing them.

Then I'm a serial killer that commits multiple murders every day during rush hour.

Someone please stop me before I kill again. You better hurry because my boss is starting to annoy me.

4/12/2011 5:30:21 AM

Big Jilm

False, even according to your own holy book. You're going straight to hell for changing the message (see last page of the Bible).

Jesus died for everyone's sins, jackass. The gift of salvation. The debt has been paid, according to the text. A gift, by definition, is free (we accept, thank you)...so no strings attached.

4/12/2011 5:31:34 AM

Zeus Almighty

So, cheymat, you and others like you will be in this "heaven" place? And your dick of a "god" will be runing the show?
Thanks, but no thanks. That sounds more like hell to me than the other place.

4/12/2011 5:34:20 AM

Doubting Thomas

OK, so between God and Satan, which one is the good one again?

Too bad the raptard who made this argument is using it to argue in favor of God instead of against. The shame is that they can't see that this makes God look like the monster.

4/12/2011 5:41:29 AM

Deep Search

"Being angry at someone is just the same as killing them."

Well shit... I didn't know being pissed at someone was the same as making them stop living. Glad someone let me know. Next time someone really cheeses me off I can just pop a cap in their ass.

"Yes there is a such thing as Hell. No, it wasnt created for you, but in your unbelief in the one person that can save you, he will send you there. And yes it is permanent."

Yeah, one of the many reasons I'm not about to buy into religion. I don't want to worship any "god" who has maniacal, psychotic child-like tendencies. Thanks. "You don't accept my love!!? Baaaaw, hell forever for you!!"

4/12/2011 5:59:03 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

"... Being angry at someone is just the same as killing them. ..."

Strange. People have been angry at me on many occasions, yet I'm still alive. Just as fat and (usually) happy as ever. I must be God!

Oh, wait a second ... I don't want to be that evil, psychotic arse-whole. ... I guess that means I must be the other immortal, Satan. Yay!

4/12/2011 6:07:39 AM

TGRwulf

The more fundies keep talking, the more they make it sound like the devil is the good guy and their god is the villan.

And how the FUCK is being angry with someone the same as killing them? o_O

4/12/2011 6:12:04 AM
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