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Quote# 80594

[Vince is a follower of Harold Camping, who preaches that the world will end on May 21st. Or possibly five months later.]

So who's with me? I need a discussion about where I can bequeath all of my worldly possessions for the time after 5-21-11. I already told my bank that they can start to prepare to foreclose on my house on 5-22-11. Because even if I'm not raptured (though I really do think I'll be included with the other true believers), I'm sure the bank managers and especially the mortgage department personel won't be. And if I'm not raptured I intend to live out the next 5 months squatting in the homes of those that were raptured.

But that still leaves me with almost $160,000 to use up or give away.

Any suggestions?

Vince, Facebook 94 Comments [4/13/2011 1:59:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 75
WTF?! || meh
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Wehpudicabok

"I already told my bank that they can start to prepare to foreclose on my house..."

Good lord, even you aren't stupid enough to deserve the shit that you're going to suffer through when that day comes and goes... I'm sorry for you. I really am.

Edit: Unless that "prepare" stage can be retracted later, in which case, thank your lucky stars.

4/13/2011 2:12:26 AM



I'll take the 160,000 dollars.

4/13/2011 2:14:00 AM

Godless heathen

Don't be ridiculous. The world ended on 31st December 1999, but everyone was too drunk to notice. I'll take the $160000 off your hands though.

4/13/2011 2:17:47 AM

Raised by Horses

I'm not one to indulge in schadenfreude, but this guy is really asking for it. If he's lucky, someone will talk him out of it before he goes through with his plan.

And this, of course, raises another question: If the world's about to be obliterated, what's the point in giving your possessions away? It's not like there's going to be anything left.

4/13/2011 2:22:17 AM

Justanotheratheist

Just as well that I booked a weekend away to one of my favourite destinations for the weekend before the 21st May. It will be my last chance to ever go there.

However, in the somewhat certain event that the world will still be here on May 22nd, I can send you my banking details if you like.

4/13/2011 2:22:24 AM

Pule Thamex

I agree. You are faced with a bit of a dilemma Vince. But in all honesty, why leave it to anyone at all, what's the point? My advice would be to withdraw all your funds and make a bonfire of them.

4/13/2011 2:25:45 AM

Nicend

This seems a little too exaggerated to be legit...I mean he can't be serious..right?

4/13/2011 2:48:04 AM

Jubba the Mad

Perhaps you could invest the money in a slightly bigger brain?

4/13/2011 2:56:31 AM

AIF

If you bequeathed to me it'd be most appreciated, that being my birthday and all

4/13/2011 2:58:56 AM

lisamariefan

Your delusion bothers me greatly.

And fuck Harold.

4/13/2011 3:15:01 AM

nutbunny

But that still leaves me with almost $160,000 to use up or give away.

Any suggestions?


Keep it for rent for when you don't get raptured, or bail, if you're illegally invading someone's home.

4/13/2011 3:15:33 AM

Etiene

Wow, what a thread full of fail.

4/13/2011 3:18:11 AM

quinky

Obvious Poe is obvious.

4/13/2011 3:34:04 AM

whatever

"But that still leaves me with almost $160,000 to use up or give away.

Any suggestions?"

Do any of you have this guy's E-mail address?

4/13/2011 3:53:03 AM

The_L

If you're giving away all your earthly possessions, can I have your bookcase?

Oh wait, if you're buying into this, you probably don't own enough books to justify a bookcase.

Well, can I have your CD tower? Not the CDs themselves, mind you, just the tower. My godless secular music needs a home.

4/13/2011 3:54:35 AM

Polymeron

@Quinky,

Read the Facebook thread. You might wish it was a Poe, but it isn't. There are three more people in the thread, all of them being dead serious.

Weep for humanity :(

4/13/2011 3:57:20 AM

Shadow Phoenix

If we indulge him in his Rapture, wouldn't it be legally death? That means that everyone on Earth will just use his last will like all the other dead people. Not to mention that having a will is actually useful in the real world.

4/13/2011 3:58:44 AM

WWWWolf

> But that still leaves me with almost $160,000 to use up or give away.

Oh, sure, send them to me - along with a note that you have specifically donated the money to me out of your free will, and that there's no need to pay it back.

Don't worry, I intend to donate all of that money to secular causes that make the world a better place - arts, science, technology and civil rights. Because those groups are obviously evil so they can't be Raptured anyway. Right?

4/13/2011 4:20:44 AM

Prager

When this guy wakes up and realises he's still here, and the full magnitude of his stupidity hit him, I will feel not one bit of pity for him. He walked into the situations with his eyes wide open but his brain jammed into neutral.

4/13/2011 4:46:46 AM

Zeus Almighty

I'd suggest you spend all it on hookers, expensive booze and crack. There's always time to repent by May 21 (or five months later -- ha!).
You should run through $160,000 in no time. If you're still having problems, invite Charlie Sheen along for a weekend binge; that will take care of whatever is left.
You're welcome.

P.S. I would have loved to have seen look on the bank employee's face when you told him you wewre going to stop paying your mortgage and the reason ...

4/13/2011 4:59:33 AM

NoriMori

Holy crap, why didn't his full quote get posted??? Listen to this nut:

"Harold is the voice of reason. He's got me convinced. Since listening to him for the past 3 years, I've come to realize that while I do read and study the bible each and every day, I don't need to be so fanatical about it. I simply subscribe to everything he has to say without question. It's so much easier that way."

Even though it's not in the quote, I nominate this for accidental honesty or whatever that award is called.

And also, before reading his full post I felt sorry for him, but he's admitted that he prefers not to think, that it's "so much easier" to listen to someone else "without question". I have little sympathy for someone who will throw away their reason on such an important issue. I hate to say this, but he really did bring this on himself. I just hope the date coming and going serves as a rude awakening and opens his eyes. But it probably won't. Either way, I hope that he'll be able to restore his assets.

4/13/2011 5:03:27 AM

Anon2

"Vince", I suggest you donate your $160.000 to a good charity, one which is concerned with long-term development projects, for example drinkable water or vaccination projects in a third world country.

4/13/2011 5:04:10 AM

Amanda

I suggest psychotherapy.

4/13/2011 5:04:59 AM

NoriMori

Wow, and then he says he thinks it's a mistake to give it to a secular organization because it "gives them hope and also encourages sin".

4/13/2011 5:06:21 AM

dionysus

On the one hand I feel sympathy for the fact that on May 22nd he's going to wake up completely broke, disappointed, and devastated. On the other hand people need to learn not to be so damn gullible as to believe these end of the world tales that a bunch of con artists decided to come up with. I still think this is going to be WAY too harsh of a reality check for him and sincerely hope he reconsiders.

4/13/2011 5:10:00 AM
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