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Quote# 80841

[On Cratering]

Cratering probably occurred when the fallen angels took on the good angels in a cosmic battle.

Note this passage which, by itself, looks mundane:

Daniel 10:13 But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia.

Daniel has been in prayer for three weeks to God, and God had sent an angel to take the answer to Daniel, but the angel could not get through the infrastructure that Satan had set up, and so he (the angel) had to enlist the aid of Michael the Archangel.

Battles like this probably occurred throughout the universe after Lucifer rebelled, and ? of the angels followed him in the insurrection.

AV1611VET, Christian Forums 52 Comments [4/26/2011 5:03:55 AM]
Fundie Index: 54
Submitted By: Orlor
WTF?! || meh
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Vinroke

what the, oh, it's AV - nevermind. Par for the course with him

4/26/2011 5:07:14 AM

dionysus

So what's your explanation for Swiss cheese? Tiny demons?

4/26/2011 5:09:48 AM

Doctor Whom

I remember reading that passage when I was a Christian and thinking that I must be worshiping a pretty wimpy God. Way to undermine your own faith, AV.

4/26/2011 5:14:26 AM

Passerby

Craters the universe over are from angellic beatdowns?

Since in the Bible Earth was the only planet and other heavenly bodies were just pretty decorations that fails. (Gallileo was almost tried for heresy on the simple revelation that the moon's surface was cratered as opposed to perfectly smooth, implying God created something flawed.) Since in the Bible all the angels fell to Earth that fails. Since after the discovery that there's nothing in the clouds but atmospheric pressure Heaven was afterwards implied to be a spiritual plane rather than a physical place meaning there was nowhere to actually fall from that fails. Since 'fall' itself was a metaphor for falling out of God's favour with no actual gravity involved that fails. Since we can observe the objects that made the damned craters such as asteroids and sattelites both natural and artificial that fails extremely hard.

It just fails. Many levels.

4/26/2011 5:14:35 AM

Mister Spak

"Cratering probably occurred when the fallen angels took on the good angels in a cosmic battle. "

And thunder probably happens when Thor is in a fight with a frost giant.

4/26/2011 5:15:39 AM

LAchlan

"Battles like this probably occurred throughout the universe after Lucifer rebelled, and ? of the angels followed him in the insurrection."
Or...... it might just all be made up....

4/26/2011 5:33:37 AM

Prager

STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID

4/26/2011 5:53:47 AM

The Jamo

I must admit he makes a very good point.

...

Oh, who am I kidding? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

4/26/2011 6:14:12 AM

Alleyprowler

Satan's Infrastructure would be a cool band name.

4/26/2011 6:28:15 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Did Satan's infrastructure involve iron chariots*, by any chance? Those always make your wimpy (but oh so omnipotent) god piss his loincloth and call for reinforcements.


* Judges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

4/26/2011 6:47:40 AM

DevilsChaplain

Oh bloody hell...

4/26/2011 6:59:26 AM

Papabear

Somebody's orbit is unstable.

4/26/2011 7:25:18 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Talk about reading things into the text that aren't there. Is this really what religion does to people? If it does, then I'm scared...

4/26/2011 7:36:05 AM

Godless heathen

AV1611VET, you always brighten up my day... This guy's probably a Poe, but the level of stupid he/she/it comes up with is hilarious

4/26/2011 7:40:32 AM

Doubting Thomas

Or, craters could have been caused by asteroids.

4/26/2011 7:54:59 AM

Anon-e-moose

So, how did that that job interview at NASA/JPL go for you, eh AV1611VET?

...what's that? They didn't take you on, certainly re. your knowledge of astronomy & xenogeology?

You're such a loss to the Royal Astronomical Society at Greenwich, you know. [/hyper-sarcasm]

@Doubting Thomas

"Or, craters could have been caused by asteroids."

Even Occam's Razor would go right over AV1611VET's head. Even the simplest explanations can open up worlds of complex questions that need to be solved; 'enquiring minds need to know', and all that jazz.

Ergo, NASA/JPL in the US, and the Royal Astronomical Society here in the UK - to say nothing of all the similar groups of professional astronomers around the world - who openly (and willingly) share any & all new findings with not just their own ilk, but the entire planet. Knowledge belongs to Humanity.

...but as proven in AV1611VET's case, as with Occam's Razor, such knowledge goes right over his head. Or mayhaps it simply refuses to enter his head, which is denser than a Black Hole.

But such is the closed-off, super-dense, one-dimensional, reality-warping effects of religious dogmatic thinking, as exhibited here in CF (and similar forums such as Ruptured Retards).

4/26/2011 8:01:39 AM

Raised by Horses

Or, craters could have been caused by asteroids.

Now that's just crazy talk.

4/26/2011 8:21:16 AM

breakerslion

So, since God was all-knowing, he sent an angel that he knew was going to fail? Your God is stupid, like you.

Actually what happened was, Satan, fresh from his victory over Betamax, popped back into the past and set up an intricate network for his minions using the Ethernet protocol. God's angels, hopelessly outmaneuvered and outdated with their Arcnet equipment, had to hire an Arcangel (not an archangel, they're only good for doorways and aqueducts and the like) to lay down the proper infrastructure so they could communicate.

What? Why is my blather any less coherent than yours?

4/26/2011 8:54:38 AM

Murdin

Craters were formed when the Flying Spaghetti Monster sent a swarm of divine meatballs to fertilize the Earth.

4/26/2011 8:57:55 AM

Osiris

What? What? WHAT?1?

4/26/2011 9:00:04 AM



I prefer the official version. Not even the "Bible" one matches.

4/26/2011 9:20:38 AM

rw23

> Battles like this probably occurred throughout the universe after Lucifer rebelled, and ? of the angels followed him in the insurrection.

Or not.

4/26/2011 9:54:42 AM

aaa

There is a reason why AV is rather notorious on this site. This is one of them.

4/26/2011 10:11:54 AM

JohnTheAtheist

But, lo, AV1611VET is still a stupid douchebag.

4/26/2011 10:19:52 AM

TWoozl

Meteorites. They're... angels locked in mortal combat with lousy collision avoidance skills? Even for AV, this is a tad bit batshit. So what was Tunguska? A dogfighting kill in air to air figment combat?

4/26/2011 10:27:43 AM
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