Quote# 80925

Massive flood devastates parts of Missouri, but the lamestream media refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible. See secularized language.

Andy Schlafly, Conservapedia 68 Comments [4/29/2011 3:08:58 AM]
Fundie Index: 113
Submitted By: Michael

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West Staines is Massive too

4/29/2011 3:39:38 AM


Andy Schafly, everyone! You can'e make this stuff up!

Well, Andy clearly can, but...

4/29/2011 3:41:25 AM


Im sorry, I didn't realize that:

A) there was a worldwide flood going on;

B) your god had rescinded his "no worldwide floods" policy (you know, the one in Genesis 9).

4/29/2011 4:00:59 AM


Andy is really losing it! Big time!

4/29/2011 4:03:11 AM


Yup, everything everywhere ever is all about you and your beliefs, there's no such things as a neutral subject. Paranoid much?

4/29/2011 4:09:17 AM



Because not being a Christian means that you deny the existence of massive flooding.

Seriously, does this guy take stupid pills?

4/29/2011 4:24:01 AM



4/29/2011 4:46:44 AM


Someone should tell his mom that exposing your child to lead has very detrimental effects.

4/29/2011 4:50:41 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Ya know, he's right. I just heard Anderson Cooper report on the Midwest floods. As I recall, he described them as "devastating," "catastropic," and "bad-assed mother fudgers." But he never said they were massive.

THAT's a sure sign of conspiracy and/or demon infestation and/or the end times ... or something.

4/29/2011 4:53:38 AM

Raised by Horses


No, he's pretty much always been like this.

I pity the people who had to hang around him before he discovered the internets.

4/29/2011 5:00:12 AM


refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible

Because when I hear about a massive flood the first thought in my head isn't "Oh those poor people! How can we help them?". No, apparently it's "Where's mah Bobble? I gots sum readin' tado."

4/29/2011 5:25:38 AM

Mister Spak

So you're saying god is angry at Missouri? Is it because of their anti-marriage policy, or their global warming denial? Or is it just the extreme weather caused by global warming?

4/29/2011 5:37:37 AM


Parts of a state flooded =/= whole world flooded. I'd really like to see you perform those mental gymnastics actually.

4/29/2011 5:53:08 AM


Andy always sees everything as something to be scared of.

4/29/2011 6:14:04 AM

Table Rock

That's also probably why the media doesn't say, "Jesus motherfucking Christ on cracker!"

4/29/2011 6:16:09 AM


In other news, scientists prove you can determine whether or not a person is an atheist or not by saying the word cross, and see if they spit bile, and start clawing at their ears.

Seriously, Andy?

4/29/2011 6:21:40 AM


So now the words 'massive flood' are exclusively christian, are they?

Andy, I've wanted to ask you this for some time, but no one who isn't kissing your ass can get the opportunity on your inept 'encyclopedia'...are you completely fucking stupid or do you only feel compelled to write when caught in the throes of a religious mania-induced brain fart?

Do you ever read your posts later and feel embarrassed?

I only ask because I feel utterly embarrassed for you.

4/29/2011 6:23:33 AM


Is it just me, or does anyone else think "what a fucking pussy" whenever they read one of Andy scribbles?

4/29/2011 6:25:06 AM


sorry double post

4/29/2011 6:25:51 AM


"Massive flood devastates parts of Missouri, but the lamestream media refuse to describe it as a "massive flood" because that might lead folks to read the Bible. See secularized language."

So much for God's covenant (by a rainbow; or was God just having really gay sex at the time?!) that he would ensure that people would never have to suffer death & devatstation via Floods. I'm an Atheist, and I read that in the Bible decades before this particular tragedy. If anything, Andy Schaftafly, you should be scared of people doing exactly as you wish, as it would then expose to everyone the vile atrocities of the capricious and perverted monster you claim to worship.

...but then, it just goes to prove that - like you - God is a hypocrite. Remember, Andy: that Covenant. Just another day at the Schaftafly residence 'Chez Doublethink', Hypocrisyville, Contradiction City USA.

In other news, Prince William marries Kate Middleton today. Repeat of ceremony at Westminster Abbey at 11.

4/29/2011 6:36:03 AM


Being from Arkansas, one of the *many* states affected by the recent and extensive storm system, I can tell you the 'Noah' connection is getting *old*. I mean I had all that in my ear and was hardly convinced I should read a Bible when the stuff really hit the fan and our local drainage system failed, flooding housing and business areas.

4/29/2011 6:45:31 AM

Doubting Thomas

OK, it's official. Andy has finally gone officially insane.

4/29/2011 7:13:14 AM

I know it's saying a lot, but I actually think this is the stupidest statement of his that I've ever read.

4/29/2011 7:44:16 AM

Believe it or not, Andy, there's quite a large body of much more recent reference material about floods, which is where most people wanting to learn about them would start reading first.
See Common Sense.

4/29/2011 7:46:17 AM

Brendan Rizzo

You're joking... right?

Oh, and after this flood is over, look at the aftereffects (yes, those are preserved for posterity). See how they share absolutely no resemblance to the geologic column, meaning that the Great Flood never happened.

4/29/2011 7:49:04 AM

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