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Quote# 81374

[interview with Harold Camping on his May 21 Doomsday prediction]

You haven’t thought about what you’ll tell your followers on May 22 if the Rapture doesn’t take place?
I’m not even thinking about that at all. It. Is. Going. To. Happen. Because I trust the Bible implicitly, the Bible is God’s word — it’s not from a man, it’s not from an organization of some kind where there’s plenty of room for error. It is the word of God. When God speaks that it is going to happen, the Bible is a very factual book, and God gives many examples of how he has made prophesies and it always has happened in exact accord with what God has prophesied.

Do know for sure whether you personally will ascend to heaven on May 21?
Oh yes, I am very convinced because I have found in my life for a long, long time an intense, ongoing desire that I just want to do God’s will and the Bible has become super important to me and so I do believe that I will be caught up when that time comes around in California.

Harold Camping, New York Magazine 283 Comments [5/19/2011 3:53:04 AM]
Fundie Index: 130
Submitted By: Damned at Random
WTF?! || meh
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Nathan

It. Is. NOT. Going. To. Happen.

5/19/2011 3:57:40 AM

Zombie Pierrot

Keep telling yourself that, buddy.

5/19/2011 4:03:02 AM

Zab

I hope he gives some interviews after the 21st too.

5/19/2011 4:04:53 AM

emau99

I’m not even thinking about that at all.

Yeah, I noticed.

5/19/2011 4:05:44 AM



It's sad to say, but someone please keep this man on suicide watch.

5/19/2011 4:07:34 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

I do believe that I will be caught up

The only thing you are "caught up" in, is delusion.

Sad, really.

5/19/2011 4:16:46 AM

LAchlan

Kool-Aid, sir?

5/19/2011 4:17:01 AM

A Gopher.

See you May 22nd Mr. Camping with a lawsuit to deliver on behalf of your parishioners.

5/19/2011 4:22:20 AM



2012: Christian Edition

5/19/2011 4:24:03 AM

Anon2

Some guesses what Mr. Camping will say on May 22:

- He will 'mysteriously' find some error in his numerological nonsense, and will come up with a new date some time in the future. This time calculated with the correct method. Guaranteed! And everybody please send him more money for new billboards...

- He will state that god spared the world because of his strong faith. He prayed so hard to god that he is solely responsible for saving the world from god's wrath. And then he will demand that everybody bow before him and accept his faith immediately. Because god won't be so merciful the next time, the date of the next rapture he also has "conveniently" calculated. And everybody please send him more money for new billboards...

5/19/2011 4:26:51 AM

toth

How much do you want to bet he's already working on the real, REAL Judgement Day, in case he gets this one wrong (unthinkable as that is)?

5/19/2011 4:32:57 AM



can't we just... you know, point and laugh when it won't happen and they're left dumbstruck and floundering for an explanation?

5/19/2011 4:42:20 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

No worries.

According to a report on CNN, "...the massive doomsday earthquake will start at the International Date Line before moving west. New Zealand, he [Camping] said, will get hit first – at 6 p.m. local time. And then that wave of destruction will roll around the world, wreaking havoc at 6 p.m. in each time zone."

Sooo ... all we have to do is watch the news on TV on Saturday. If it happens in New Zealand, we here in the Western Hemisphere will still have plenty of time to get down on our knees and get in on the Rapture. If deathbed conversions are A-OK with the christbots, last-minute conversions of all kinds should be acceptable.

When it doesn't happen in New Zealand, we'll have plenty of time to make a beer-and-pizza run for our (Poor) Judgment Day Parties, which will undoubtedly go on well into May 22.

5/19/2011 4:48:54 AM

Swede

Haven't all the others, who have predicted other Doomsdays, also read The Word of God and found their exact dates in there?
Their predicted dates have all come and went and no Doomsday yet.

5/19/2011 5:03:25 AM

LabRat

Another Rapture?

They keep happening.

5/19/2011 5:09:32 AM

Doctor Whom

Matt. 24:34 (in a description of the Rapture): Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

1 Thess. 4:16-17 (emphasis added): For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Christians have been fudging their way out of failed Rapture predictions since the first century.

5/19/2011 5:11:18 AM

Mister Spak

What are you going to say when you arrive in heaven on May 21 and you find Allah in charge?

5/19/2011 5:23:14 AM

NoriMori

Oh for the love of... It's so stupid-sounding that I wonder if Harold, like Andy, is really a giant Poe... I mean, Camping won't even give an answer for what he'll do/say/think if it doesn't happen, which means we can't hold him accountable for any bullshit he might come up with when it really doesn't happen... But the fact that he's so blindly convinced gives me hope that he'll be floored enough to not try and pull any BS at all. But nothing ever seems to floor these people, it's all a part of "God's plan".

EDIT:

Hey wait, I just realized, this guy is fucking 89 years old, with any luck the shock will just give him a heart attack and that'll be that.

EDIT:

Annnnd I just realized — HE'S 89 FUCKING YEARS OLD! He's senile! DUH!!!

5/19/2011 5:24:57 AM

Madman_Andre

Come the 22nd I'm throwing an "End if the World" party at my place. Who wants to come? :D

5/19/2011 5:32:56 AM

arctic knight

Gawd, I feel old, I remember when 1988 was supposed to be the year the rapture happened because it was 40 years after the (re)establishment of the nation of Israel. There was even a book, "88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988", by Edgar C. Whisenant. Of course, Whisenant printed a follow-up book saying he was wrong that that it was going to happen in 1989.

I also remember the predictions set for 1981, 1982, 1983, 1993, 1994 and 2000.

EDIT: Does all of this remind anyone else of that Simpson's episode where Homer predicts the rapture and gets it wrong?

5/19/2011 5:34:48 AM



KEAR-AM, Family Radio's flagship station in San Francisco, California, is licensed through December 1, 2013:

http://www.radio-locator.com/info/KEAR-AM

So, yeah, even he doesn't believe the world will end on Saturday.

5/19/2011 5:47:34 AM

realityman

This is just another clear illustration of the fact that those who believe in the literal infallibility of the bible are not self aware. It is not the perfection of the bible they believe in. It is the perfection of their ability to interpret the scripture.

Since there are literally thousands of ways to interpret meaning of the words of the bible, the functional eveluation of anyone who claims that the bible is without error is that their version of the bible's words is without error.

None will ever be self aware enough to acknowledge that assertion. But there world view is predicated on the assumption that they have been perfect in their own or their group's interpretation of the bible. Their hard work in reading and interpreting the scriptures has given them a perfect understanding of the meaning of the writings. Or if they are not perfect yet, they are so close and striving for another fine tuning which will get them there.

Could ANYTHING be more egocentric?

5/19/2011 5:50:54 AM

NoriMori

@Madman_Andre

I would love to, but I'm actually having my own sleepover party from the 21st to the 22nd... XD Pizza, chips, popcorn, drinks, movies, PORTAL 2!!!

5/19/2011 5:55:35 AM

Table Rock

On the 22nd he will probably say, "Oops, I forgot to carry the one, so it will be 2012." On May 22nd, 2012 he will say, "Oh, I forgot to add in the remainder. It will be in 2013."

Rinse and repeat.

5/19/2011 5:55:51 AM

Jorma

Man. It's going to be an embarassing sunday church this week.

5/19/2011 5:56:52 AM
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