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Quote# 82233

[Part of a letter sent to the Pope]

There is, however, an item that I want you to acquire, the gray pants that my servant is wearing right now as I dictate this message. They were stained with his blood when he suffered in my service, and would not give up the battle. They are extremely powerful. I wish you to purchase for my servant three pairs of black dickie work pants, three black work shirts, and present them to him in exchange for these pants. As my servant campaigns he will not wear suits, he will dress as a common laborer, as a common worker. He will not attempt to appear to be an aristocrat. He understands the poor because he has been poor. He understands the needy because he has been needy. He understands the old because he is old before his time because of his service to the people. Anyway, he looks like a slob in a suit. I don't think so, but he does.
These are additional requests that I make of you, these are my desires that I have you do. I want this power returned to Italy. I want my glory to return to Italy.
There is one other thing. I wish to have these pants displayed in St. Peter's so the faithful can view them, be empowered by them, and I want The Borgias removed from St. Peter's, those false popes that began the destruction of The Church with their lust and greed. I want them off my sacred ground! I want them removed and buried in unsanctified ground. I want their names struck from the Catholic rolls, and in all records they simply be referred to as the number of the Pope that they were, that their names never be uttered. For they were unfit to be my servants, and have nearly destroyed my world. Every honor that has been given them must be taken away from them, and the world must be told what filth they were.

Gerald Polley, Voices From Spirit 66 Comments [6/28/2011 5:19:15 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
WTF?! || meh
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navelgazer

This is the kinda crazy that keeps me coming back to FSTDT.

Pure comedy gold!!

6/28/2011 9:15:46 AM

Paradoxical

What is this I don't even.

6/28/2011 9:20:26 AM

Osiris

Is this like the letters to Santa were the post office just sends them into a furnace? Or do people in the Vatican actually have to screen this shit?

6/28/2011 9:54:14 AM

Polymeron

Hey Pope, God here. I decided there is clearly no bad way to talk to you but deliver the message through a seemingly deranged person. Who looks GREAT, by the way. May his pants be displayed to all forever.

Don't argue with me, I'm God.

So anyway, I guess I just remembered to be angry at some popes after a few centuries. Must have forgotten to let you guys know about that one earlier. I've been busy turning a blind eye to the Holocaust etc...

I am the Lord thy God, and I demand a tuna sandwich!

6/28/2011 10:04:36 AM

Polymeron

On a (slightly) more serious note, it should be a hint for this guy that he's been hearing voices...

6/28/2011 10:05:09 AM

nazani14

Who is this servant, and when is his tell-all book coming out?

6/28/2011 10:35:35 AM

Ren

The best part of this letter?

You just know that Vatican gets things like this constantly. XD

6/28/2011 10:37:01 AM

Godbuster

Men in white coats: "Off to the funny farm with you! Come on, come with us!"
Gerald Polley: "Nonono! I'm a Christian!"
Men in white coats: "Oh, okay, that's 'normal' then!"

6/28/2011 11:16:16 AM

JohnTheAtheist

If I am going to the pope for clothes I am definitely asking for the hat. The pope has awesome hats.

6/28/2011 12:05:49 PM

farpadokly

Now, as much as I laughed at this, I feel a bit sorry for Gerald because there are quite clearly mental health issues at work here. Who, when he needs new some new trousers, would think to dictate a message to the Pope, supposedly from God, to ask for some and also for his old clothes to be exhibited as holy relics? And not only his clothes but also "the pens with which he and Jesus created artworks".
There's a madness here which is close to genius.

6/28/2011 12:18:13 PM

Mihangel apYrs

I'm quite sure that if Gerald "Pretty" Polley prays hard enough the new pants will be supplied by Jeebus, cutting out the middle man (Benny the paedophile enabler)

6/28/2011 12:50:12 PM

Mihangel apYrs

@navelgazer

quite true. A lot of it is run of the mill fundie nonsense - stupid but within the ambit of a form of sanity (when viewed through godbotherers' eyes).

And then there are masterpieces like this, so far into Wackwood that the possums wear pyjamas

6/28/2011 12:54:47 PM

Old Viking

Whatever you say, Slick.

6/28/2011 2:14:58 PM

Starscream

What the shuddering fuck have you been smoking?

6/28/2011 2:26:45 PM

Zits

Um... This is a pantload.

6/28/2011 2:34:10 PM

WWWWolf

Behold! The Pants of the Servant. (*angelic choir*)

While I am often critical of certain things in Christianity, I admire their ability to turn the most mundane items very epic.

(*angelic choir*) Now shalt thou observe the Pants of the Servant, and witness their glorious power!

6/28/2011 4:03:32 PM

aaa

The pope is probably going to be confused by this letter.

6/28/2011 4:26:00 PM



WUT?

6/28/2011 6:00:00 PM

Percy Q. Shunn

Bloody pants? Did you forget to jam a tampon in your vagina, Gerald?

6/28/2011 8:22:16 PM

Thejebusfire

[I wish you to purchase for my servant three pairs of black dickie work pants, three black work shirts...]

How much is that going to cost you... Like thirty dollars? Get off your lazy ass and go buy them yourself.

6/28/2011 9:13:26 PM

dharmicdalek

I didn't know there where Christian shamans.

6/28/2011 9:37:53 PM

Papabear

I'm glad you shared your fashion sense with the pope. That guy dresses funny.

6/28/2011 10:05:45 PM

The Jamo

@Whitleylad

Oh, man. Thanks for a great laugh. I owe you one : )

6/29/2011 2:11:28 AM



What are the odds that this letter, if it ever reaches the Pope, will end up in the Vatican garbage or in a satyrical column?

6/29/2011 2:51:56 AM

Mech610

@Godbuster

But he isn't a Christian, he calls himself a 'Spiritist' and believes that Jesus and Mary and all the other mythological figures were aliens. He also believes that John Lennon channels songs to him from the afterlife. On top of all that he believes that in a past life, Kali, the Hindu Goddess of Destruction was his girlfriend.

6/29/2011 3:53:00 AM
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