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This is the kinda crazy that keeps me coming back to FSTDT.
Pure comedy gold!!
6/28/2011 9:15:46 AM
What is this I don't even.
6/28/2011 9:20:26 AM
Is this like the letters to Santa were the post office just sends them into a furnace? Or do people in the Vatican actually have to screen this shit?
6/28/2011 9:54:14 AM
Hey Pope, God here. I decided there is clearly no bad way to talk to you but deliver the message through a seemingly deranged person. Who looks GREAT, by the way. May his pants be displayed to all forever.
Don't argue with me, I'm God.
So anyway, I guess I just remembered to be angry at some popes after a few centuries. Must have forgotten to let you guys know about that one earlier. I've been busy turning a blind eye to the Holocaust etc...
I am the Lord thy God, and I demand a tuna sandwich!
6/28/2011 10:04:36 AM
On a (slightly) more serious note, it should be a hint for this guy that he's been hearing voices...
6/28/2011 10:05:09 AM
Who is this servant, and when is his tell-all book coming out?
6/28/2011 10:35:35 AM
The best part of this letter?
You just know that Vatican gets things like this constantly. XD
6/28/2011 10:37:01 AM
Men in white coats: "Off to the funny farm with you! Come on, come with us!"
Gerald Polley: "Nonono! I'm a Christian!"
Men in white coats: "Oh, okay, that's 'normal' then!"
6/28/2011 11:16:16 AM
If I am going to the pope for clothes I am definitely asking for the hat. The pope has awesome hats.
6/28/2011 12:05:49 PM
Now, as much as I laughed at this, I feel a bit sorry for Gerald because there are quite clearly mental health issues at work here. Who, when he needs new some new trousers, would think to dictate a message to the Pope, supposedly from God, to ask for some and also for his old clothes to be exhibited as holy relics? And not only his clothes but also "the pens with which he and Jesus created artworks".
There's a madness here which is close to genius.
6/28/2011 12:18:13 PM
I'm quite sure that if Gerald "Pretty" Polley prays hard enough the new pants will be supplied by Jeebus, cutting out the middle man (Benny the paedophile enabler)
6/28/2011 12:50:12 PM
quite true. A lot of it is run of the mill fundie nonsense - stupid but within the ambit of a form of sanity (when viewed through godbotherers' eyes).
And then there are masterpieces like this, so far into Wackwood that the possums wear pyjamas
6/28/2011 12:54:47 PM
Whatever you say, Slick.
6/28/2011 2:14:58 PM
What the shuddering fuck have you been smoking?
6/28/2011 2:26:45 PM
Um... This is a pantload.
6/28/2011 2:34:10 PM
Behold! The Pants of the Servant. (*angelic choir*)
While I am often critical of certain things in Christianity, I admire their ability to turn the most mundane items very epic.
(*angelic choir*) Now shalt thou observe the Pants of the Servant, and witness their glorious power!
6/28/2011 4:03:32 PM
The pope is probably going to be confused by this letter.
6/28/2011 4:26:00 PM
6/28/2011 6:00:00 PM
Percy Q. Shunn
Bloody pants? Did you forget to jam a tampon in your vagina, Gerald?
6/28/2011 8:22:16 PM
[I wish you to purchase for my servant three pairs of black dickie work pants, three black work shirts...]
How much is that going to cost you... Like thirty dollars? Get off your lazy ass and go buy them yourself.
6/28/2011 9:13:26 PM
I didn't know there where Christian shamans.
6/28/2011 9:37:53 PM
I'm glad you shared your fashion sense with the pope. That guy dresses funny.
6/28/2011 10:05:45 PM
Oh, man. Thanks for a great laugh. I owe you one : )
6/29/2011 2:11:28 AM
What are the odds that this letter, if it ever reaches the Pope, will end up in the Vatican garbage or in a satyrical column?
6/29/2011 2:51:56 AM
But he isn't a Christian, he calls himself a 'Spiritist' and believes that Jesus and Mary and all the other mythological figures were aliens. He also believes that John Lennon channels songs to him from the afterlife. On top of all that he believes that in a past life, Kali, the Hindu Goddess of Destruction was his girlfriend.
6/29/2011 3:53:00 AM
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