Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 82233

[Part of a letter sent to the Pope]

There is, however, an item that I want you to acquire, the gray pants that my servant is wearing right now as I dictate this message. They were stained with his blood when he suffered in my service, and would not give up the battle. They are extremely powerful. I wish you to purchase for my servant three pairs of black dickie work pants, three black work shirts, and present them to him in exchange for these pants. As my servant campaigns he will not wear suits, he will dress as a common laborer, as a common worker. He will not attempt to appear to be an aristocrat. He understands the poor because he has been poor. He understands the needy because he has been needy. He understands the old because he is old before his time because of his service to the people. Anyway, he looks like a slob in a suit. I don't think so, but he does.
These are additional requests that I make of you, these are my desires that I have you do. I want this power returned to Italy. I want my glory to return to Italy.
There is one other thing. I wish to have these pants displayed in St. Peter's so the faithful can view them, be empowered by them, and I want The Borgias removed from St. Peter's, those false popes that began the destruction of The Church with their lust and greed. I want them off my sacred ground! I want them removed and buried in unsanctified ground. I want their names struck from the Catholic rolls, and in all records they simply be referred to as the number of the Pope that they were, that their names never be uttered. For they were unfit to be my servants, and have nearly destroyed my world. Every honor that has been given them must be taken away from them, and the world must be told what filth they were.

Gerald Polley, Voices From Spirit 66 Comments [6/28/2011 5:19:15 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Doperwtje

Reading all the hate he has for the Borgias I think he may be possessed by the spirit of Ezio Auditore ...

6/29/2011 4:09:47 AM

whatever

I can imagine thousands of people flocking to Rome to be empowered by a pair of old trousers.

There must be a good comedy sketch in this, surely?

6/29/2011 5:51:57 AM

whatever

@Mech610
"Kali, the Hindu Goddess of Destruction was his girlfriend."

And now, he wants to fulfil her wishes.

6/29/2011 5:53:59 AM

thelivingguano

This is weird, even for Gerald Polley

6/29/2011 6:07:25 AM

John_in_Oz

I Googled 'black dickie work pants' with 'safe search' off, and you won't believe what came up.

6/29/2011 7:45:54 AM

colintron

So The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was a nunnery!?!?!?

6/29/2011 7:48:23 AM

Tempura

Man, I love these posts. No hatred, no wing-nuttery, just plain weird and funny as hell. Pants.

Pants.

6/29/2011 8:41:36 AM

Anon-e-moose

@John_in_Oz

"I Googled 'black dickie work pants' with 'safe search' off, and you won't believe what came up."

Explains a great deal about Gerald "Pretty" Polley [/Mihangel apYrs] then.

@whatever

"I can imagine thousands of people flocking to Rome to be empowered by a pair of old trousers.

There must be a good comedy sketch in this, surely?"

Or an animation. Oh yes, that's right. Nick Park & co. already has:



X3

6/29/2011 9:11:15 AM

= POPE =

Sorry Gerry, but we spend all our money on these:

http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=29093

Rumors of the Vatican treasury are greatly exaggerated.

Overnight parking strictly prohibited.

6/29/2011 10:03:05 AM

Bine

Voices From Spirit, inded! Really bad moonshine, I guess?

Or plain mental illness?

Or perhaps I should call Po(p)e ...

6/29/2011 1:38:18 PM

Anon

I'm calling Poe's Law on this one.

6/30/2011 6:25:12 PM

Philbert McAdamia

I'd like to get the Pope to buy my old red line Levis.
Haven't heard back from him yet.

6/30/2011 9:31:23 PM



A dickie!? They still make these?

7/1/2011 12:43:10 AM

Watergirl909

Am I the only one picturing the Pope as Guru in Dragon Ball Abridged?

"Nail! Who sent me this stupid letter?"
"Gerald Polley, Pope."
"Nail! Kill him."
"I don't think we're allowed to do that, sir."
"I do not care. And that's Super Kami Pope to you from now on."
"Yes, Super Kami Pope."

8/26/2011 6:47:34 AM

Song

Just occurred to me: "As my servant campaigns he will not wear suits, he will dress as a common laborer, a common worker." A "common worker" in clothing purchased by the Pope. 'cause, you know, plenty of those. Nothing disingenuous about that, none at all...

9/7/2011 9:27:29 PM

whatever

The Pope, on reading Gerald's letter...

"I vill give him mein SS trousers. Oh no, I cannot, I have mein SS membership gehushed so I can control the Vorld from Rome und not face trial of Nazi Var Crimes. Never mind, I am a Catholic so it shouldn't be a problem to get ein pair of trousers off someone. Trouble is, they vill probably be ganz too small..."

9/8/2011 3:42:47 AM
1 2 3