Quote# 83360

Evolution of WOOD
Can an evolutionist please explain to me how and why WOOD evolved????

FACT: Plants are made of leaves and stems and do not contain any wood.

Evolutionists claim that trees did not evolve for 15 million years after the first plants appeared.

So why did it take so long for wood to evolve why plants would have benefited from having a height advantage over their competitors from the moment they first appeared???

Garvan Elison, http://garvanellison.blogspot.com/ 108 Comments [8/22/2011 3:16:49 AM]
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So why did it take so long for wood to evolve

It took plants time to evolve wood for the same reason it took plants time to evolve the ability to poison their caterpillar predators and the caterpillars time to evolve the ability to use that poison to kill their predators (wasps): first there's the necessity, then the invention. Only creationists insist, despite evidence to the contrary, that everything was made at the same time.

8/22/2011 6:55:01 AM


Wood is just a very thick stem. Have you never seen a less-than-a-year-old maple or birch? They still have stems.

The first plants were very short, and a thin, short stem was enough to be higher than the competitors. Over the 15 million years since, the plants got taller and taller in the competition, and the stems got thicker and thicker. Some plants evolved more effective ways of using less sun, and stayed short below the foliage.

An eight-year-old, with the most rudimentary knowledge of ToE and a bit of imagination, could have explained this. How come you can't manage to understand it?

8/22/2011 7:00:41 AM

The Jamo

Is he talking about wood or an erection?

8/22/2011 7:12:58 AM


That is SO fucking random...

8/22/2011 7:16:16 AM


Get on the phone to Dawkins right away. We've been found out. Now I need to get a suit for going to church. Dang!

8/22/2011 7:32:40 AM


Ah, one of those "I've won because I think I'm smart by saying stupid things"

8/22/2011 7:52:32 AM


Garvan, wood was created by Jehovah specifically so that one day your head could be made from it.

8/22/2011 7:54:04 AM


Garvan Elison, can you explain why you're brain is made of wood?

(...really! Where do these people come from? Planet Zork?)

8/22/2011 7:55:06 AM


Nah, not buying it. I reckon Garvan is a Poe.

8/22/2011 8:09:13 AM



"Garvan Elison, can you explain why you're brain is made of wood?"

So that when he goes swimming - like a duck - he floats?

A Witch! Burn him! [/"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"] X3

8/22/2011 8:11:12 AM


This is just too idiotic. where are the men in white coats when they are needed most?

I am really struggling hard not to say that Garvan can't get wood....

8/22/2011 8:13:49 AM

Doctor Whom

Obvious (and dedicated) troll is obvious (and dedicated).

8/22/2011 8:26:55 AM


No-one's made a penis joke yet. I am disappoint.

8/22/2011 8:42:58 AM


Actually trees are a very convincing proof of evolution because no one in their right mind would have created a tree. It is a model of inefficiency. Essentially all trees do is to raise "grasslands" to canopy height at huge expense of materials. If all plants could only "agree" to stay low they would all benefit...same amount of light, less used in the way of resources to get it.

Also, this just in, Garvan is an idiot.

8/22/2011 8:54:25 AM



8/22/2011 8:58:56 AM


Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp! Hurp durp!

8/22/2011 9:07:37 AM



"No-one's made a penis joke yet. I am disappoint."

Ask, and yew shall receive:

I thought 'Got Wood' was someone obtaining combustible fuel, until I discovered Smirnoff.


...oh, and never mind 'Son I am disappoint', I invented the 'ReiTree' meme in 4chan's /a/:

Some moss took a lichen to ReiTree.

ReiTree's best friend was a mushroom. He was a fungi to be with.

ReiTree had a dog, but she got rid of it. It kept her up all night with it's bark

Q: What is ReiTree's favourite recording artist?

A: Woody Guthrie.

Compared to ReiTree, I've always thought Shinji was a bit of a sap.

ReiTree gives me wood.

Yesterday I was having sex with ReiTree, but she told me to withdraw my woody. She was becoming saw.

ReiTree's vagina is pretty dry, but it felt just pine

She should make like a tree and leaf.

Her acting in NGE was rather wooden.

What if Rei was a lumberjack? She could use my chopper, if you know what I mean.

She was the reason why the series was axed.

In terms of sex, ReiTree provides instant grassification.

ReiTree has a sponsorship deal with FlyMoe electric lawn tools.

Rei belongs to NERV. A grass-roots organisation.

...I'll get my coat.


Gendo Ikari: 'Rei Ayanami puns? In MY FSTDT?! The NERV of those people! Will we EVA hear the last of them?!'

*gets up & starts to leaf*

...I'll get my coat.'


8/22/2011 9:11:16 AM

Oh come on, how has no one posted this yet?

8/22/2011 9:11:31 AM

The phrasing of your last question betrays the lie in your first, Garvan. You know damn well why wood evolved. And probably have a rudimentary understanding of how. I'd imagine you also realise that the advantage conferred by height would not have been as great during the early evolution of plant life, at least not enough to make expending energy on forming truly woody stems a worthwhile endeavour.

I have a question for you Garvan: if the Earth is young and special creation is true, why do you and others like you need to lie in order to persuade your followers you are right? Why does it require wilful ignorance and cognitive dissonance to maintain a belief in the Genesis account?

8/22/2011 9:12:08 AM


Please supply your own sex joke here.

"FACT: Plants are made of leaves and stems and do not contain any wood."

Some plants have wood... as do some heads, apparently.

8/22/2011 9:18:23 AM


The Garvantard really needs to learn how to use Google. Three seconds and he would have found his answer.

8/22/2011 9:59:04 AM


Because adaptations like that don't magically appear over night. It took millions of years for wood to evolve because evolution is really slow and the phrasing of your question betrays your ignorance of that fact. Unlike your fairy tale there was never a single "moment" when plants first "appeared". It's not like one night there were no plants and then the sun rose the next morning and suddenly there they were. You're looking at a process of possibly billions of years as single-celled photosynthetic species came together in groups, and those groups became colonies, and then those colonies became organisms.

8/22/2011 10:42:11 AM


Well you see, when two people love eachother very much they perform a special hug, which works best when the man's pee-pee is stiff and long, instead of weak and flexible-

Oh, you mean the wood from trees? Well, it would take a SCIENTIST to explain!

8/22/2011 10:42:39 AM

Brendan Rizzo

It took that long because the trait has to appear first. If no plants have wood, then there is no disadvantage for not having it. After wood evolved, it turned out that wooded plants could only live where woodless plants could not, and vice versa. There is no competition among them. There is no grass in forests, and no trees in lakes.

8/22/2011 11:16:26 AM

Old Viking

The original plants were plastic. It took many decades of effort for them to become real planty-like. Then there was a long stretch of arguing among plants whether to grow tall or stay short. There was much rancor and bitterness. Some went the tall route, some the short. It's pretty complicated.

8/22/2011 11:57:07 AM

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