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Quote# 83409

Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis. I tried to clarify that fact for ignorant atheists who mis-stated the fact, and falsely claimed that I said God was biological, which is something that I never said.

You and your cabal of atheist pals - most of whom are thieves and stalkers - may laugh it up because you are immature, but that's the truth and that's what the Bible says. If you were mature than you would not find it hilarious every time someone says "Penis," and you would not mock God's Word. But as a Bible denialist who serves mammon rather than God, that is of course not what you do.

Navaros, IMDB 132 Comments [8/24/2011 3:56:44 PM]
Fundie Index: 154
Submitted By: Dr. Flibble
WTF?! || meh
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Kitourahime

God has a Penis

Not what I expected to read.

8/24/2011 9:33:51 AM

Dr. Killjoy

It's the return of God's penis!

8/24/2011 3:57:05 PM

The_L

Silly fundies. Everyone knows that God has a cloacal vent!

8/24/2011 3:58:16 PM

Atomic Flamethrowing Vagina

I love how God's penis (unnecessary capitalization of the P is unnecessary) is an actual discussion topic among fundies.

8/24/2011 4:03:46 PM

mad the swine

For the uninformed, behold:

http://fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=62318

God's Holy Penis in all Its glory.

8/24/2011 4:06:58 PM

Osiris

Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis.
There were no Christians at the dawn of time because even by the standards of time set by YEC Christianity wouldn't exist for thousands of years. Also, why does God have a penis? What does he do with it? My guess is that he masturbates to all the people he murders every year, just like his followers like Navaros.

8/24/2011 4:10:32 PM

Angry Vince

Is he circumcised? His son was Jewish, so I'm assuming yes.

Which does beg the question: who circumcised God?

8/24/2011 4:16:24 PM

Horsefeathers

"Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis."

Say what now?

Though I guess that explains the whole Virgin Mary immaculate conception thing.

"I tried to clarify that fact for ignorant atheists who mis-stated the fact, and falsely claimed that I said God was biological, which is something that I never said."

So, god isn't biological but has a penis? I hate to ask the obvious but what's the point of a Holy Penis if the being it's attached to isn't biological in origin?

"You and your cabal of atheist pals - most of whom are thieves and stalkers - may laugh it up because you are immature, but that's the truth and that's what the Bible says."

I don't recall the verse referring to god's penis though I do see a lot of religious dicks wandering around.

"If you were mature than you would not find it hilarious every time someone says "Penis," and you would not mock God's Word."

I don't find the word "penis" hilarious and if anyone here is mocking "God's Word" it's you as it's obvious you've never read a word of it.

"But as a Bible denialist who serves mammon rather than God, that is of course not what you do."

Of course I serve Mammon. He pays better.

*rimshot*

8/24/2011 4:19:20 PM

\m/>_<\m/

aaaaaallllllllllllllllll righty, then!

sure why not, whatever floats your boat buddy... but in that case, sorry to say but your infatuation with a divine penis is... shall we say... fabulous? no, no, no... not clear enough... how about ambiguous? yeah, that works...

kthxbai, closetcase

8/24/2011 4:24:22 PM

casewithscience

I bet these fundies would suck it if asked.... but, of course, homosexuality is a most terrible sin.

8/24/2011 4:26:05 PM

tmarcl

And yet you still haven't answered the obvious question that arises when you mention your god having a penis - if he's the only one of his kind, why would he need one?

In your other post, you claim that there is another use for a penis other than urination and copulation, but in reality, there isn't. That's the be all and end all of it. If there are no other, non-male deities, there is no reason for your god to have a penis.

Unless, he's more based on an ancient deity from around those parts who was believed to be more like mortals (though not mortal), and had a consort.


8/24/2011 4:28:55 PM

louislois

"Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis.
How could Christians exist since the dawn of time if they've only been around for about two millennia?

"I tried to clarify that fact for ignorant atheists who mis-stated the fact, and falsely claimed that I said God was biological, which is something that I never said."
But how could your god have a penis if wasn't a biological entity? You just refuted your own argument...

"You and your cabal of atheist pals - most of whom are thieves and stalkers - may laugh it up because you are immature, but that's the truth and that's what the Bible says."
Once again using your precious BuyBull as a shield, I see...

If you were mature than you would not find it hilarious every time someone says "Penis," and you would not mock God's Word.
Actually, the Atheists I know ARE mature when it comes to discussions involving genitalia or something else of a sexual nature. It's rather you Fundies who flip the fuck out and scream and giggle like three year olds at the hint of seeing pee-pee parts.

One of your own, John Ashcroft comes to mind...

Before:


ZOMG!!!1!oneleven! Boobies! We must hide them!!1!

After:


But as a Bible denialist who serves mammon rather than God, that is of course not what you do.
Once again, how can an Atheist who doesn't believ in you god, believe in a demon belonging to the same mythology?

8/24/2011 4:29:47 PM

Lucilius

"Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis."

... And he named it "Navaros."

8/24/2011 4:40:26 PM



Congratulations Lucilius, you have won an internets!

8/24/2011 4:45:11 PM

Philbert McAdamia

> Every Christian since the dawn of time has always known that God has a Penis. <

They sure seem to get off on this 'knowledge'.

@ Angry Vince
who circumcised God?

Chuck Norris.

8/24/2011 4:47:01 PM

solomongrundy

Er, Biblical Hebrew doesn't have a word for 'penis'. That's why the whole 'rib' thing in Genesis is so suspect, the Hebrew word tsela used just means 'support', it can equally refer to a column or a door jamb just as appropriately as a rib.

The whole story's more than likely just a dodgy explanation for why men lack a baculum, the bone that stiffens the penis of most mammals.

We rely on hydraulics...

8/24/2011 4:50:49 PM

Alencon

Of course he does. How else could he satisfy his wife Asherah?

What is this idiot doing on IMDB anyway?

8/24/2011 4:52:49 PM

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

FSM has noodly appendages which he only uses as penises in the presence of anime chicks.

8/24/2011 4:58:57 PM

mefamwee

..if God isn't biological then why does he need a penis?

And if you honestly don't expect people to laugh when you rant about god's "holy and righteous" penis then you really need to get out more.

8/24/2011 4:59:46 PM

Old Viking

Penis. <titter titter>

8/24/2011 5:20:22 PM

Mrs. Antichrist

Ah, yes, God's Holy Penis.

8/24/2011 5:50:44 PM

D Laurier

wtf?

8/24/2011 5:52:20 PM

SurfinSeaOtter

Penis!!!

8/24/2011 5:55:23 PM

John

Actually, the Bible isn't that clear. The English translation says "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Gen. 1:27) But the Hebrew isn't quite so clear about what "man" means; it could mean "mankind"; so the verse could suggest that man and woman were both created in God's image.

8/24/2011 6:09:04 PM

Raised by Horses

I don't know about God's Penis™, but you sure are a dickhead.

8/24/2011 6:09:12 PM
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