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#1324885
cdcdrr
We've had earthquakes all over the planet long before and after Jesus was born. And every time you guys hear one has happened you take it as a sign. God must really like throwing around red herrings.
8/25/2011 3:28:29 AM
#1324887
whatever
You mean you never saw all the skeletons of Christians being hauled out of the ground and flying up into the sky? Some Christian you are if you never even went outside to see this once-only experience. I'm sure Fox News got the whole thing and you never saw it. Disgraceful.
8/25/2011 3:40:01 AM
#1324888
rubber chicken
Yep, all that china rattling, cereal toppling and drawer slightly opening was God calling the stiffs home. Unfortunately they only got as far as the coffin lid.
8/25/2011 3:47:50 AM
#1324890
Prager
It's sad and pathetic that whenever there's a natural disaster, the posters at RR all jump around shouting "Take me now Jesus! Take me home!" Really really sad.
8/25/2011 3:49:12 AM
#1324893
Ever pretend to throw a ball for your dog only to tuck it behind your back and laugh as he bewilderedly sniffs all over looking for it? That's what God is doing with raptards and having a really good laugh. God is such a tease.
8/25/2011 4:04:40 AM
#1324895
Tempus
When you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of Arkansas or Missouri, either.
And yet one of the largest quakes in recorded human history took place there. In 1812.
The Virginia 2011 quake was no more a sign of the apocalypse than the New Madrid quake was.
8/25/2011 4:09:14 AM
#1324904
Table Rock
It happens. Pennsylvania had a 5.2 earthquake in 1998. Pennsylvania isn't known for earthquakes either. 13 years later and we're still here.
8/25/2011 4:31:30 AM
#1324906
Anon2
When the news of the earthquake in the eastern US came in, it was only a question of hours until the first fundies started to blabber their pathetic nonsense.
The only open question was: Would the first fundie statement either claim that the earthquake is "a sign of the last days", or that the earthquake is "punishment for the sins committed by liberals"? Otherwise, the fundie reaction on the earthquake was completely foreseeable.
8/25/2011 4:44:31 AM
#1324909
Mister Spak
At least he's not saying there was an earthquake in California OMG Jesus is coming.
8/25/2011 5:03:35 AM
#1324913
Gawd
Yes, of course that's it. The US Geological Survey has stated explicitly that Jesus is the cause of earthquakes.
8/25/2011 5:19:37 AM
#1324914
Raised by Horses
[A mild earthquake in the East Coast]
Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!
[Someone's toast gets burned, vaguely resembles the face of some celebrity]
Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!
[Wind escapes from roommate's backside]
Fundies: IT'S THE RAPTURE!!!
8/25/2011 5:31:33 AM
#1324920
Yownanymous
Judging by the first sentence, I think SummerSailing here jizzes his pants at the sight and sound of a thunderstorm.
8/25/2011 5:47:09 AM
#1324922
ChatvertNorthern VA?! Oh no, they've invaded my area! I probably can guess this person goes to
McLean Supercult Bible Church.
P.S. In this heathen's house, a board game fell off the bookshelf and an antique beer stein landed on the carpet - and didn't break. IT'S A MIRACLE.
8/25/2011 5:53:21 AM
#1324929
dionysus
@Raised by Horses
[The next day my alarm goes off and I]
Raptured in my pants!
[Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I]
Raptured in my pants!
[When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I]
Raptured in my pants!
[I just ate a grape and I]
Raptured in my pants!
8/25/2011 6:06:02 AM
#1324931
Just 'cause it doesn't happen often, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This is not the first earthquake on the east coast; it's just been a while.
8/25/2011 6:07:00 AM
#1324933
Raised by Horses@dionysus
8/25/2011 6:11:59 AM
#1324935
Horsefeathers
"Wasn't frightened at all, in fact, I was hoping it had something to do with the "dead in Christ rising first" and we were going Home. Unfortunately, it wasn't."
Yeah. What a surprise.
"But, I think it's another sign that Jesus pointed to that would be happening in the last days - earthquakes in divers places because when you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of VA."
Most people think of places with fault lines, of which there's a number that crisscross the U.S.
You show me an earthquake that has its epicenter nowhere near a fault line and I'll be more impressed.
8/25/2011 6:23:42 AM
#1324937
Bollox
God and his earthquakes ... it's just like Lucy with her football. Keep kickin', Charlie Brown.
8/25/2011 6:26:28 AM
#1324938
Reynardine
I hate to tell this guy, but seismic activity, volcanism, and tectonics have occurred since this planet formed a crust. These people can't even make up enough explanations for the past six thousand years. No wonder six billion is too much for their wee brains.
8/25/2011 6:29:39 AM
#1324940
Steven Mading
" ... earthquakes in divers places because when you think of earthquakes, you don't immediately think of VA."
I don't really think of Virginia as a place for divers either. Maybe the Caribbean or Hawaii - those are pretty awesome places for divers - but Virginia? Nah.
8/25/2011 6:30:07 AM
#1324941
LAchlan
You ARE home, you stupid cunt!
8/25/2011 6:35:24 AM
#1324943
JohnTheAtheist
You may not think of earthquakes in VA but the USGS pinpointed basically that exact place as having a 10% probability of a 4.5 or greater magnitude earthquake in any 100 year period. You can look it up, it is easy to do. Of course if you would rather believe that it was caused by an invisible man in the sky as a precursor to the glorious eternity he is preparing just for you, please, go for it. But don't cry persecuton when people point out that you are a stupid douchebad, m'kay?
8/25/2011 6:38:52 AM
#1324948
Alleyprowler
Do you know what comes up first when you search for news of damage from that earthquake? The Washington National Cathedral. Just sayin'.
8/25/2011 6:53:33 AM
#1324949
LDM
You people seriously need to get a fucking grip on reality. It was a shift in the tectonic plates that fortunately did little harm to people or property.
On the other hand, it might be kind of fun to live next door to some of these people. They would be way to easy to fuck with, just buy a trumpet and play it every once in a while.
8/25/2011 7:01:14 AM
#1324951
TGRwulf
Fucking earthquakes how do they work?
8/25/2011 7:07:29 AM
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