There was an article in The Joplin Globe this past month regarding a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner into her own paintings of classical art.
I would strongly urge her, and anyone else, not to insert anything to destroy or distort the integrity of any Christian religious painting.
To me, this is sacrilegious, irreverent and makes a mockery of God our creator, sustainer and redeemer.
71 comments
"There was an article in The Joplin Globe this past month regarding a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls"...
That's as far as most men will read before they complete the image (incorrectly) in their own imagination.
"To me, this is sacrilegious, irreverent and makes a mockery of God our creator, sustainer and redeemer."
Good.
Yes, to you it would be sacrilegious and irreverent. It's good to see that you disapprove. Hopefully, you are suitably offended. It's good to mock He who speaks childishly in Earthquake and other death dealing languages like the insane monster that He is. Although, maybe He is too much of a dangerous lunatic to be mocked, funny though the mockery often is, it might be better if He would fall into a black hole and reappear in a different dimension altogether. Let Him fuck somewhere else up for a change. Bible God, what a twat, with or without tennis balls.
I reiterate: These Christian moral panic episodes are getting lamer by the day. First it was rock and roll, then D&D, Harry Potter books and now tennis balls. Seriously, what do you people do for fun?
There wouldn't even be any Christian religious paintings if you dweebs really believe in and follow the so-called Ten Commandments. Need I remind you of the 2nd on the list?
Exodus 20:4 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
This contrasts with the Muslims that make a huge, huge deal of parody art of Mohammed, for a simple reason.
There's no commandment saying not to. In fact, God's commans to not put an image of any God before him could mean that he didn't want art made of his faith, either.
Besides, the Biking Nuns picture by Salvador Dali is decades old. Missed the boat, Rita.
God doesn't like your Christian religious paintings, with or without balls:
"You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments."
Maybe you shouldn't call attention to yourself as a worshipper of graven images Rita. That jealous bastard might afflict your great grandchildren with boils or something.
I agree with you, but only if someone is actually painting tennis balls on actual classical paintings. If she's painting tennis balls into her own paintings, then STFU. You obviously don't understand art. Plus, prove your god exists and is pissed off at it, or STFU.
It's people like this who make me hate living in the bible belt.
"I would strongly urge her, and anyone else, not to insert anything"
Urge... rising, must... resist...:
Resistance is Futile! AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!111ONE1:
OO-ER! FNARR-FNARR! KYUK-KYUK! WOORGH-WOORGH! AG-AG-AG! EH?!
[/Finbarr Saunders]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finbarr_Saunders
X3
Methinks Rita here is in dire need of a good hard shag, to cure her of ye olde melancholie; right up to them, too.
image
New balls, please. >:D
@whatever
Apparently, Rita likes her God boring & severe. I like the idea of Jesus playing tennis, or soccer, or baseball, or football or volleyball....it's shows he's a friend of humanity & an all-around cool guy! Those figurines of Jesus enjoying sports with kids seem kinda goofy but I like the sentment. I don't find it all that tacky.
Husky, hairy "Guido" stereotypes wearing more chains than Mr. T (especially crucifixes the size of air craft carriers) on the other hand, NOW THAT'S TACKY!!!
*puts up sign*
NO FUN ALLOWED!
Oh fictitious God, now they've got it in for tennis balls. What shit will they come up with next?
No fun allowed, seconded.
Oh come on, it's just a tennis ball. She isn't actually destroying the original paintings by adding her own stuff to them; she's starting from scratch.
And it's not as if Christians don't occasionally draw pictures of Jesus or other religious figures in a modern context.
Yeah, "the integrity of any Christian religious painting", right. That's why every Medieval European painter ever, the source of a lot of Christian misconceptions about their own damn mythology, just made shit up as they went along without actually looking at the source material. Did you know that most angels didn't actually have wings, and the ones that did have six? And that Jesus was almost certainly NOT as white as the average Italian? No? Then you have no idea what you're talking about.
Free society, yadda, yadda.
oh so they are HER paintings? well who the fuck cares about what you think rita? go blow it out your ass you busybody. the artist has the fucking right to freedom of expression, and considering the stupid shit christians create to make money, inserting tennis balls in into some paintings seem down right tame.
walmart sells chocolate crosses for fucks sake! who could get more sacrilegious than fucking crosses made of chocolate?
"There was an article in The Joplin Globe this past month regarding a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls..."
0_o
"...in a fanciful manner into her own paintings of classical art."
Ohhhhh. I thought he was gonna say...nevermind.
I read this on my phone, so it scrolled in as follows...
"...regarding a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much she inserted tennis balls in a..."
*snicker*
"...fanciful manner into her own..."
*laughter, hope for pics*
"...paintings of classical art."
*disappointment, wonder at what disappointment at not seeing tennis ball sexual insertion says about me*
I'll be honest, when she said "... a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner ...", I thought she was going to refer to a more "private" place. I'm quite glad I was wrong.
"To me, this is sacrilegious, irreverent and makes a mockery of God our creator, sustainer and redeemer."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO5Y1OuQIxo
DROP KICK ME JESUS (Through the Goalposts of Life) by Bobby Bare
I could live with that.
Ok...am I the only one who was thinking that this sentence "...who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner into her own..." was going to end in a completely different manner?
Edit : @ #1330068 whatever
Ok, obviously not. And now you all know what gender I am....or DO YOU?
@everyone
I also thought the same thing as you (thinking they were going to say something else at first).
And I'm a girl. Yeah, we have dirty minds too.
@Extraintrovert
Many of the Great Masters were also very critical of Organized Religion & tossed in many "Easter Eggs" that went "nyah nyah" to the Pope. A biblical character portrayed by the Pope with cute cherubs giving him "The Fig"...Loads of nudity...Musclemen art models depicting female characters...Popes & Cardnals amongst the damned & demons...God as a giant brain (implying that either God is the Universe's Mind or that God was dreamt up by people)......
AND THAT'S JUST IN MICHAELANGELO'S SISTENE CHAPEL MASTERPIECE, ALONE!!!
1) You have every right to be offended, if such an act offends your religious beliefs. If you're bothered, don't buy this woman's art.
2) You have no right to expect someone else to conform to your sensibilities. Beyond being intolerant, it's rather pointless, as this thread has pointed out.
@breakerslion
Sadly, Fundie Demiurge Gawd kicks like Scott Norwood in at the end of Super Bowl XXV.
Wide RIGHT...how fitting!
So, it offends you.
Well, so fucking what, as Stephen Fry once asked.How about you go be offended somewhere else, preferably where we can't hear you whine about it.
"a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner into her own paintings of classical art.
I would strongly urge her, and anyone else, not to insert anything to destroy or distort the integrity of any Christian religious painting.
To me, this is sacrilegious, irreverent and makes a mockery of God our creator, sustainer and redeemer."
And I would strongly urge Rita here to not click this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ
If she knows what's good for her. 'Balls inserted in a fanciful manner'? You know nothing , dear.
Oh, and as for sacriligious images...:
image
...I guess all these kids - to say nothing of Becky Fischer - are all going to Hell; 1st & 2nd Commandments, and all that jazz.
@whatever
I'm not male either, but not only did I 'fill in' the rest of the sentence after 'in a fanciful manner' I then showed my immature side by almost pissing myself laughing.
Hang me, dang me, but I got this far -- a female artist who enjoyed tennis so much that she inserted tennis balls in a fanciful manner into her own --- and was I surprised at the ending!
-------------------------------------
Well, this ought to teach me to read the other posts before ading the usual.
It's true that Joplin was hit by an F5 tornado that destroyed 1/3 of the city. Those of us who actually lost homes and were in the storm have enough problems in our lives to actually worry about some work of art with tennis balls. On behalf of the reasonable people of Joplin, I wish to state that Rita Crowell does not represent all of us!
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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