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Quote# 83730

First of all this morning, I have to apologize for our failure to bring the rain we promised to Texas. We thought sure that we were going to be able to bring the storm over Texas for several hours and cause a great deal of rain. But Obama drew an horrendous surge of dark power up from South America, we believe using his union supporters, and pushed the storm east, causing it to take the track that we have been predicting for several months. Not that we didn't take advantage of it, but still we would've liked to get the rain to Texas. It is obvious this foul creature still has power, though it is weakening.

...

To give The Republicans more power I am putting forth a proposal. I have asked Conan O'Brien to move his show to Las Vegas, and to have his wife become my servant's campaign manager in Nevada. When my servant is president have Conan be his press secretary. In exchange in a thousand years I will give Conan power and glory equal to my own and a world to rule over in the stars as I rule over the Earth, especially for the people of Nevada. This is one male that is offered great power. I have also asked the senior President Bush to be my earthly host in Maine for two years, to have his wife Barbara be my servant's campaign manager in Maine.

Gerald Polley, Voices From Spirit 88 Comments [9/11/2011 5:22:24 AM]
Fundie Index: 184
WTF?! || meh
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Raised by Horses

..Is Polley poe-ing us, or is he just way overdue for his medication and long-sleeved white coat?

By the way, if you really were God, you'd barely be worth worshipping. Can't even conjure up some rain after you flooded the entire planet and, you know, created the entire universe? Weak.

9/11/2011 5:42:09 AM



XDDDD OMGROFL. CANT BREATH!!!!

9/11/2011 5:44:15 AM

LeProon

Classy.

"Prayer didn't work, must be dem durn libruls/dermycrats conjurin' up dem durk powuhs."

And then evidently he had some sort of fit and pretended he was God.

9/11/2011 5:59:37 AM

Dr. Steve Brule

wat?

9/11/2011 6:14:39 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

This goes beyond "bat-shit crazy."

We're in "pterodactyl-poo potty" territory now.

9/11/2011 6:27:43 AM

Doctor Whom

So much for Divine omnipotence. Maybe Obama was driving an iron chariot at the time.

9/11/2011 6:39:30 AM

Horsefeathers

Holy fuck. You're insane.

9/11/2011 6:46:52 AM

John

I heard the Voice of the Spirit this morning. He told me "Actually, I never answer prayers. Why should I? If people get what they asked for, I get the credit anyway. If they don't, they blame themselves or somebody else".

9/11/2011 6:56:12 AM

farpadokly

Hilarious stuff.

9/11/2011 6:59:03 AM

Papabear

Is this a wind up or is this chump the craziest nutter we've had here in... well, maybe this week anyway.

9/11/2011 7:04:03 AM

Raised by Horses

@John


9/11/2011 7:10:35 AM

Extraintrovert

@ Raised by Horses

You win the internet for the day. That... could not be a more perfect image.

9/11/2011 7:20:01 AM

The Boy Your Mother Warned You About

The latter paragraph is just begging to be used as basis for sketch in Conan O'Brien's current show. Emperor Conan ruling over the known galaxy with his loyal servant - Darth Richter ("NOOOOOO!!!!!"). And just in time for the Blu-ray release of all six Star Wars movies.

9/11/2011 7:22:44 AM

The_L

What? Seriously?

I didn't think "Voices From Spirit" had to do with alcohol, but maybe I'm wrong.

9/11/2011 7:32:42 AM



Since you did exactly NOTHING, you have nothing to apologise for. Deal?

9/11/2011 7:36:25 AM

nazani14

Who is his "servant?"

I hope he tries to approach one of the candidates in person.

9/11/2011 7:42:21 AM

D Laurier

Polley is harrassing celebritys and war criminals.

His delusions extend to believing that unions can control the weather

9/11/2011 7:43:53 AM

Ken's cell hates passwords

Obama controls the weather and Conan gets to rule Nevada.

The hell?

9/11/2011 7:44:46 AM

CanadianBroad

Aw man, I love this guy! He's just so totally screwed up and doesn't even know it, happily living his delusions.

Gerald's pronouncements always make me laugh. Even though I guess he's going to send me to hell for it.

(This guy isn't really "Fundie"; he's actually quite ill. But in such a remarkably public, and ultimately harmless way that I just can't help enjoying it. -sigh- I know I shouldn't laugh, but when he puts it out there for everyone to read ... Oh well, a guilty pleasure.)

9/11/2011 7:53:44 AM

Berny

Meds.
Now.

9/11/2011 8:04:09 AM

John.in.Oz

To be fair, Gerald's largely impotent God is a lot closer to the original Old Testament God than the modern version.
Probably produced by the same illness as well.

9/11/2011 8:18:30 AM

TGRwulf

This is beyond batshit insane. Holy SHIT!

9/11/2011 8:34:09 AM

Percy Q. Shunn


9/11/2011 8:42:15 AM

Zosimus the Heathen

What the... Who the hell wrote this load of... Oh, it's you Gerald. Oh well, carry on then.

9/11/2011 8:42:48 AM

Alencon

Is this the part where we all slowly back away and let the men in the white coats through?

9/11/2011 8:54:47 AM
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