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Quote# 83911

I don't know about elves...but gnomes...kinda...

the thing i really beleive in are goblins, i live near the edge of the city so behind my house is a river and a forest. I've seen things in the woods that i cant really explain.

Well they're abbout 4 feet tall...well the best way to describe them is golem off of the lord of the rings, but they're eyes aren't as big and they have brown skin that is shiny but it looks more scaly then wet.

I see them all around my side of town late at night. They are fast runners and can jump considerable distances.

_BLiND_, Above Top Secret 25 Comments [9/27/2011 2:51:23 AM]
Fundie Index: 23
WTF?! || meh
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Yownanymous

Wait... This seems familiar.

Edit: Now I remember where I saw this before. Not on CSTDT, but when I was actually on ATS for shits and giggles after reading a different quote posted here. Must have got mixed up...

9/27/2011 2:58:48 AM



Funny that not even you are sure what your sources are.

9/27/2011 3:12:02 AM

Kulgur

1. There are no golems in LotR. Not a lot of Jews to make them, after all.

2. The creature you're talking about is called GOLLUM. I don't care if you're a conspiracy lunatic, I want some respect for the book. It's good.

3. The small, scaly creatures that jump high are called FROGS. Not four feet, and not dangerous. Next time, try looking for them while you're actually sober. They're fascinating creatures, really.

9/27/2011 3:28:29 AM

Bollox

^ Yeah, that's what I thought about LoTR, needs more Jews.

Also, to the OP, stop licking the cane toads.

9/27/2011 4:14:54 AM

Whitespirit

"I've seen things in the woods that i cant really explain"

I can explain them, it's the mushrooms you've been finding int he woods and eating.

9/27/2011 6:15:57 AM

Doubting Thomas

Um, yeah, you might want to lay off the meth.

9/27/2011 6:50:36 AM

cdcdrr

Ribbit-what!?

9/27/2011 7:43:19 AM

Brendan Rizzo

*Headdesk*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

Do you really think that, if these creatures live in the woods, that NO ONE ELSE would have ever seen them before? My God you are stupid!

9/27/2011 10:09:58 AM

Comrade Potatovich

There's only one goblin I know, and he's...Well, not that good at what he does.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSbZidsgMfw

9/27/2011 10:24:59 AM

werewolf

Gollum not golem, you fool. And he was a hobbit, not a goblin or a gnome.I think what you're describing are called lizards.

9/27/2011 11:53:27 AM

Papabear

Take your meds and have a nice lie down.

9/27/2011 11:59:13 AM

rikalous

@Kulgur and Bollux: There are lots of Jews in Middle-Earth. The dwarves are just beardy, badass Jews.

"I do think of the 'Dwarves' like Jews: at once native and alien in their habitations, speaking the languages of the country, but with an accent due to their own private tongue."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Heck, he even based their language and calendar off of the Jewish versions.

9/27/2011 12:07:15 PM

aaa

You seriously need to get your brain checked.

9/27/2011 3:58:50 PM

nickiknack


9/27/2011 5:24:27 PM

Percy Q. Shunn

I know those woods you speak of. I saw this very tree there...


9/27/2011 7:57:38 PM

Dorothy Mantooth


9/27/2011 7:59:20 PM



Amazing that in this age of technology, you haven't thought to record images of these creatures for posterity. Or were you too drunk to hold the camera steady?

I found your gnome for you dude.

9/27/2011 10:34:28 PM

J. James

Sometimes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I just like to pretend like there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, such as this person living in Australia near a pack of wallabies with unfortunate skin conditions. Or perhaps suffering from being retarded.

This is not one of those times.

9/27/2011 11:01:43 PM



Sounds like maybe you have some large raccoons or something. I'm guessing the scales are all in your silly imagination.

9/28/2011 6:33:40 AM

Zits

They be hangin' with da sasquach!

9/28/2011 9:22:08 AM

meh

*herds kangaroo mutants away from forest*
Damn, you found my experiments. My mistake, don't worry, you'll be safe now.

9/30/2011 5:50:50 AM

GestaltZe

:o He sees Gravelings! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/57/Graveling.jpg/220px-Graveling.jpg

11/19/2011 5:34:44 PM

Karana

Pics or it didn't happen.

2/13/2012 8:33:59 PM

Kuno

Gollum. Repeat it with me: Gollum. Now make that mistake never again.

the thing i really beleive in are goblins, i live near the edge of the city

Is the city called Nilbog, by any chance and is your real name Harry Potter?

9/5/2013 5:57:32 AM



"I don't know what they are; they must be goblins"

If you don't know what they are, that's where the conversation should stop. You don't then go on to say they "must be" anything! You said you don't know what they are, didn't you?

Wouldn't they be just as likely to be unicorns, pixies, aliens from Jupiter's moons, aliens from Mars, aliens from Betelgeuse, the FSM, Gojira, Mothra, Gamara, Meca-Godzilla, Bigfoot, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, or Manos the Hands of Fate?

If you don't know what they are, you don't know what they are. Period. You don't then get to suggest they are any kind of made-up-fantasy-shit you want.

9/10/2013 11:31:45 AM
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