Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Asinine Assertion of the Decade

Quote# 84263

"By God's blessing, we have not been hit by a Muslim attack since 9/11," Fischer said. "I suggest that in part, we have Major League Baseball to thank. You remember that the week after 9/11 Major League Baseball converted the seventh inning stretch from the singing of 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' to the singing of 'God Bless America.'"

"Now 'God Bless America' is not just a song, it is a prayer. When we sing that we are inviting God to bless America, to stand beside her and to guide her through the night with a light from above," Fischer said.

"So for one brief, shining moment every night, Major League Baseball has converted our stadiums into cathedrals in which tens of thousands of ordinary Americans lift their hearts and voices as one and ask God to watch over and protect the United States," Fischer said.

"Ladies and gentleman, I think that those prayers have been heard and they have been answered," Fischer said.

Bryan Fischer, Talking Points Memo 83 Comments [10/11/2011 2:59:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 146
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3 4
Bill and Ted

I thank Kiss for singing "God Gave Rock And Roll To You".

10/11/2011 3:19:44 AM

Raised by Horses

Do you hear that? That's the sound of Bryan Fischer urinating upon the faces of America's intelligence agency workers, Customs and Border Protection officers, and police departments everywhere.

Let's vote for him.

10/11/2011 3:33:29 AM

Sadhuman

So all those people out there defending your country spending countless dollars and hours trying to stop any further terrorist attacks against your home soil are just one big waste right? No need to keep paying them to do their jobs at all, just get them to go to the baseball game and sing along right? Didn't thinks so.

10/11/2011 3:39:07 AM

Mudak

But now they sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" again.

BTW, when I'm in a public place and they ask us to sing "God Bless America," I actually sing "God Less America..."

Now THAT's a land that I love...

10/11/2011 3:53:01 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Imbecile.

10/11/2011 4:01:10 AM



"By God's blessing, we have not been hit by a Muslim attack since 9/11,"

Lisa: This rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: How does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't. It's just a stupid rock. But you don't see any tigers around.
Homer: Lisa, I'll buy your rock.

[Lisa facepalms]

You remember that the week after 9/11 Major League Baseball converted the seventh inning stretch from the singing of 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' to the singing of 'God Bless America.'"

Yeah, but we've long since gone back to the good ol' secular "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." As it should be.

"Now 'God Bless America' is not just a song, it is a prayer."

Unless you're not religious or don't believe in god at all, in which case, it's just a song. For those who are "musically challenged" (ie. tone deaf), it's just a collection of words.

"I think that those prayers have been heard and they have been answered,"

...with huricane Katrina; the tornados in Joplin, Missouri; the economic crisis of late; etc..

10/11/2011 4:07:44 AM

The_L

I'm sorry, but anyone who honestly thinks that singing a patriotic song at a ballgame is more likely to prevent terrorism than the wars we fought and the increased vigilance of our defense forces (I'm not counting the TSA here, because they only give us the illusion of increased safety) is just plain silly.

10/11/2011 4:09:01 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

If that's the case, then I demand that your "god":

1. Immediately return to life all KIAs,

2. Miracle limbs back onto the wounded,

3. De-traumatize those suffering from PTSD,

4. Immediately refund every single fucking dollar we've spent on this "war against terror."

10/11/2011 4:17:21 AM

Mister Spak

Since we all know that Islam is the real religion, everything based on your cult is a lie.

Edit: I hope the muzzies don't hear about this and start singing "Allah bless terrorists" before soccer matches. Then we'll really be screwed. Planes will start flying into buildings by the power of Allah without needing to have hijackers in them.

10/11/2011 4:29:08 AM

Meishayuri

Why yes, god can fix everything. As a matter of fact it took him a couple of months to answer Rick Perry's call for rain. Look how well prayers for world peace have worked, why the earth is just brimming with wars and conflicts. Those prayers for "god Bless America" didn't work out so well when just a couple of months ago Mr. Fischer said that the earthquake was punishment for homosexual equality. So if god is so great, wonderful, and accommodating, don't you think he would have shook the very foundation of every city hall in NY? Yeah Bryan, your make believe world works on your terms not the terms of everyone else's reality.

10/11/2011 4:34:18 AM

rebel

See this rock? It keeps the bears away. What's that? You want me to prove it? Well, do you see any bears?

10/11/2011 4:47:43 AM

Jesus Klingon

So we all got together and sang a song and your little goddy-woddy was appeased and quit kicking the shit out of us. Stay classy.

10/11/2011 4:49:44 AM

ergo

American baseball, the real deterrent to terrorism.

10/11/2011 4:55:03 AM

LAchlan

Someone needs to de-program this idiot.

10/11/2011 4:56:36 AM

dionysus

Singing songs makes God actually get off his ass and do things? Then what the hell are you doing wasting time talking, you should be writing songs like "God fix our economy", "God feed the children of Africa", and "God give us a cure for AIDS and cancer". Or at least write "God make it rain in Texas" as Rick Perry hasn't had much luck with praying for it to happen and you'd be helping out a fellow conservative.

10/11/2011 5:21:52 AM

Bollox

So, unless you kiss god's arse all the time, he doesn't do anything?

Sounds like a boss I had once.

10/11/2011 5:25:08 AM

KittyKaboom

To prove your theory, I submit our situation; my mother, grandmother and father have had their church, their friends and pretty much everyone who was willing to do it pray for my children for their entire lives.

Last check: Yup, still autistic. In my daughter's case, profoundly so.

If your god would cure my children's autism I would immediately drop down on my knees, sing his praises and spread the gospel as far as I am able. I would be the most devoted christian ever, instantly converted.

Until then, I can't bring myself to believe that prayer to the christian god has much effect on the world at all.

At least the Pagan deities I honor comfort me. Thus far YHWH hasn't even done that.

10/11/2011 5:50:33 AM

His4Life

Cool! My husband is a Detroit Tigers fan. I usually don't pay attention at the games but I'll have to be on the lookout for this next time. Very neat that they're doing this for America.

10/11/2011 5:58:21 AM

Doubting Thomas

You don't think that the TSA, FBI, CIA, and our military had anything to do with it, do you? (OK, maybe not the TSA) I mean, after all, there were a few other terrorist plots since 9/11. If God didn't want us attacked, why would he let terrorists get the idea to keep trying to attack us in the first place?

10/11/2011 6:03:27 AM

Mudak

@dionysus et al, it started raining in Houston when the atheists came to town for a convention. Read what you will into that from a divine influence perspective.

10/11/2011 6:24:38 AM

Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis


10/11/2011 6:25:48 AM

Doctor Fishcake

[size=100]post hoc.[/size]

That is all.

10/11/2011 6:36:19 AM

Doctor Whom

Then the next time a team wants a new stadium, instead of soaking the taxpayers, the team members should just to out to the site and sing "God Bless America," and God will just poof a stadium into existence.

10/11/2011 6:37:37 AM

Patrick

It's also possible that 9/11 was just an isolated incident.

Nope, those dirty Muslims are only capable of terrorism.

10/11/2011 6:37:52 AM

emau99

So what you're saying is that churches are less useful than baseball stadiums, and that the considerable effort and resources spent by our military and various intelligence and law enforcement agencies has done nothing?

10/11/2011 6:47:25 AM
1 2 3 4