Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 84436

Most of us also know that God took a rib from Adam in order to build Eve. The rib was taken before Eve came into existence. The rib was taken before any kind of contamination to the human genome. The rib was human flesh, blood and bone; human cells, chromosomes, genes and DNA. The rib was made of human cells that have the 24th human chromosome that produces the Tree Of Life organ attached to the appendix tube. Adam's rib cells are immortal human cells with 48 chromosomes (24 pairs), rather than our present 46 chromosomes (23 pairs).

My theories will also show you that Jesus was born from an uncontaminated rib cell. Jesus was born with a 24th pair of human chromosomes in his body cells, which produced the Tree Of Life organ attached to his appendix tube. Adam and Eve were born immortal (to begin with). Jesus was born immortal. My theories will show you that all human beings are destined to become immortal, after the 'first' death.

Michael Barry, The Immortal Kingdom Of A Universe  97 Comments [10/22/2011 8:07:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 134
Submitted By: Night Jaguar
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3 4
Meromorph

Batshit crazy...

10/22/2011 8:13:33 AM

Thinking Allowed

Mikey must have skipped biology class that semester.

10/22/2011 8:17:44 AM

Noneofyourbusiness

Actually, that's bullshit. And males are modified females, not the other way around.

10/22/2011 8:18:55 AM

Matante

Jesus is cancer?

10/22/2011 8:25:00 AM

Dillon_Asimov

@Noneofyourbusiness

What's your source?

10/22/2011 8:25:05 AM

Eisenhorn

Wow, that is some high quality crazy right there. Not every day they act like Adam and Eve's and Jesus's bones are just lying around ready to be experimented on.

10/22/2011 8:26:37 AM



@ Dillon Asimov:

They're actually right, at least as far as mammals go. Whereas no hormonal intervention is required in order for a perfectly normal female mammal to develop, males require high concentrations of androgens and a special hormone that prevents the precursor to the female accessory sex organs from developing.

My source: Behavioral endocrinology class.

10/22/2011 8:29:18 AM

Selkie

Ribs? With a nice mustardy BBQ sauce or red wine reduction?

Distracted now...

10/22/2011 8:38:36 AM

Apatheist

Welcome to the world of batshit insane speculation.

10/22/2011 8:40:36 AM

DevilsChaplain

Mmmmmm, that's good whargarble!

10/22/2011 8:51:50 AM

Lucilius

Less fundie than just batshit gibberish. I know that's not much of a distinction.

10/22/2011 9:05:38 AM

Swede

Tobacco plants and chimpanzees have 48 chromosomes. Were Adam and Eve, and Jesus chimpanzees?

10/22/2011 9:12:29 AM

Auratwilight

None of those things you said are true.

10/22/2011 9:15:17 AM

Berny

I'm sure you've also got incontrovertible proof for your "theory" with empirical evidence to show for it.
In a pig's eye.

10/22/2011 9:20:11 AM

Adey

Something I've never understood about this rib thing, wouldn't the DNA etc of Adam in the rib
make Eve his clone? So Adam and Eve was really Adam and Adam.

10/22/2011 9:30:53 AM

breakerslion

Meanwhile, in the next Kingdom of a Universe, just one click over in the tesseract, Mecha-Jesus is locked in mortal combat with the Bender-like evil mechanoid creations of the Wizard of ID. Will he have time to replace the appendix vacuum tube and reboot the Logic Tree of Life ... Itself? Will the mysterious Maker step in and confuse the enemy by whipping up an instant plague of frog-bots or something? Will the 12 Automatons escape the diabolical magnetic coils of Punch-Press Pilot?

Stay Tuned!

Pwned Michael Barry! You've just been Batshit Served!

That's the way to sound psychotic, build suspense, and leave your audience with a sense of antici ... ...

(Say it!)

... pation!

Happy Halloween Richard O'Brien and Tim Curry, wherever you may be!

10/22/2011 9:48:41 AM

NoriMori

"The rib was made of human cells that have the 24th human chromosome … Adam's rib cells are immortal human cells with 48 chromosomes (24 pairs), rather than our present 46 chromosomes (23 pairs)."

If you REALLY try, this part can make sense as some metaphorical religious take on evolution, considering that our ancestors did have 24 chromsosomes, two of which fused together to give us 23 (this didn't happen with our primate relatives). The rest of this makes no sense no matter how you look at it.

In fact, even the 24th chromosome part doesn't make sense, because if that's the chromosome for the "Tree of Life" organ, that means that our primate relatives still have that organ and we don't. Which means that according to this guy, other primates are actually God's chosen ones, and never sinned, whereas we apparently just suck.

So, Michael, what does this "Tree of Life" organ do? What's it look like? According to your own logic, other primates still have this organ, so we ought to have found it by now and figured out how it works and what its function(s) is/are. Wonder why that hasn't happened…

10/22/2011 9:58:14 AM

Papabear

Ahh, I love the smell of wackadoo in the morning. Smells like crazy.

10/22/2011 9:58:26 AM

Murdin

Does that mean Jesus was a chimp?

10/22/2011 9:58:57 AM

Comrade Potatovich

I am confused, is this fundie or is it a Neon Genesis Evangelion interpretation?

10/22/2011 10:11:23 AM

Flah

Is he saying that Adam and Jesus had Downs Syndrome? Because that's what usually happens when a person has an extra chromosome.

10/22/2011 10:19:45 AM

Skyknight

Adey: Well, I suppose that if you replaced the Y with a duplicate of the X...

10/22/2011 10:21:12 AM



Most Great Apes actually have 48 (24 pairs) of chromosomes. Guess they are immortal, we just never noticed or something.

10/22/2011 10:22:52 AM

evilred

Just when you think the fundies have achieved maximum crazy...along comes Michael.

10/22/2011 10:43:32 AM

Anon-e-moose

If God could just poof into being a universe, world, and all the life on it with just a mere thought, why couldn't he have done the same with Adam and Eve...?

Seems that God isn't as 'omnipotent' as one would think.

And with such a simple question - which I asked myself in my early teens, when I read the Bible cover to cover - does Genesis, and therefore the Bible's credibility as a whole, fall apart.

The term 'Fridge Logic' in Tv Tropes. It exists for a reason, Mikey-boy.

10/22/2011 10:48:05 AM
1 2 3 4