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Quote# 84912

There's a reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends, you know. I remember in our Spanish class we had to read a legend similar to a lot of things...about people who encountered a giant serpent, which spat water out of its mouth until the whole world was flooded, the people had to flee to a lone mountaintop, they would send out a dove to see if there was any dry land anywhere, and when they finally descended they all magically spoke different languages. Now THAT'S a lot of stories in one legend.

Fortunately the Holy Spirit revealed the truth on these matters or else it would be one big answerless mystery lost to time.

Rei, Rapture Ready 47 Comments [11/23/2011 7:09:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 60
Submitted By: Frank
WTF?! || meh
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breakerslion

"There's a reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends, you know."

I like these: http://dqhall.com/atrahasis/tablets.htm

Two explanations are put forth to explain their less-exaggerated similarity to the Noah story.

1. Satan invented a time machine, went back in time, and placed these tablets where they would later be found.(Satan presumably did this by trial and error, riding his time machine back and forth into the future until he saw them dug up.) He did this to discredit the Wholly Wurd of the Babble.

2. Plagiarism.

Guess which explanation I prefer?

I also like the version where Noah's impossible and unseaworthy ship breaks apart when it begins to float because Noah forgot that God told him to invent duct tape too.

11/23/2011 12:11:31 PM

rjmx

> Fortunately the Holy Spirit revealed the truth on these matters

Awwwwww, most any spirit will do that if you drink enough of it.

11/23/2011 12:27:51 PM

NoGodsEver

Reading the thread is as depressing as always. These people are adults. They are living in the 21st century, where the vast knowledge of the real world is at their fingertips. Yet they believe this childish, risible, manifestly impossible horseshit. I find it hard to find this stuff funny anymore.

11/23/2011 1:02:40 PM

Comrade Potatovich

Goddammit Anon-e-moose, you beat me to the Rei-rage(reig?)

11/23/2011 1:14:53 PM

Old Viking

I sort of like the Holy Spirit version. It's so ... so ... realistic isn't the word I want. Goofy! That's it! The Bible version is goofy!

11/23/2011 1:19:43 PM

Brendan Rizzo

@ Tina:

Um, actually, they do believe that dragons were real. They believe that dinosaurs lasted into historical times and that these dinosaurs were known as dragons. (The fact that the word "dragon" just means "serpent", i.e., "snake", means nothing to them.) I'm not making any of this up.

11/23/2011 1:39:43 PM

PHeD

@ Doubting Thomas - or this legend could have borrowed from the Bible - since it was (it seems) written in Spanish. A language centuries younger than anything in the Bible.

11/23/2011 3:31:53 PM

aaa

Seen worse.

11/23/2011 3:32:46 PM

Agahnim

A lot of people believing something doesn't make it true. People used to think the Sun orbited the Earth until it was discovered that the inverse is true.

11/23/2011 4:36:54 PM

Karana

So, you're religion's story is right, and every other one is wrong. Got it. *eyeroll*

11/23/2011 4:44:18 PM

Hive

There's a reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends, you know.

Because humans like to tell stories? And the more you tell it, the bigger it gets?

11/23/2011 9:25:16 PM

TheJebusFire

[There's a reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends, you know.]

Yes, that's because it floods everywhere.


11/23/2011 10:00:09 PM

Skatepunk

"Fortunately the Holy Spirit revealed the truth on these matters or else it would be one big answerless mystery lost to time."

First of all, popular legend in ancient cultures that the Bible likely borrowed, and none of these sources have evidence.

Second, what's wrong with an answerless mystery? The truth is just that: we don't know. There are many answerless mysteries (life on other planets, Bermuda triangle, etc.) Wouldn't it be more fun (and mentally stimulating) to try and find out these mysteries?


11/24/2011 9:27:25 AM

dionysus

Holy crap, that's proof that the Bible is the only true account of the flood! Even though every other one of those floods you use to support it contradict it! No, wait, ESPECIALLY because those other floods contradict it!

11/25/2011 6:34:49 AM

Big One

Yep, the reason is that every culture across the world has seen a flood at some point. Because you know what ? It rains everywhere in the world one day or another. Yep, even in deserts.

The reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends is that you just made that up. If all cultures pointed it to occur at the same time, then I would be amazed. But it seems Chinese people did not see your global flood. Or they were on the Moon when it happened.

11/25/2011 8:59:06 AM

Anon-e-moose

As for 'Floods', what about the ancient Egyptians, who - along with the ancient Chinese - with their continuous recorded history, never experienced a cataclysmic civilisation-annihilating event? Indeed, if 'twere not for floods, the ancient Egyptians would've been annihilated way before that in the Bible.

The annual flooding of the Nile was essentially the basis of the Egyptian civilisation, as the fertile silt deposited on the rich agricultural land on the Nile's banks ensured the continuation of food production.

No flood, no food. No ancient Egypt. They existed after that described in the Bible; certainly before. And during. You do the maths.

@Comrade Potatovich

Sorry 'bout that. On the other hand, like I say, should this Raptard ever hear about the genre-defining series by Gainax - and aforementioned Christian imagery therein (has this idiot never seen the slogan on the 'NERV' logo, for Shinji's sake?!) - then methinks this Retardian will drop said screename like a plugsuit with a skidmark in it. XP X3

...and 'Rei-ge'? I like the cut of your pun jib, sir!

@Swede

Y'gotta love how Kosuke Fujishima used the idea of Yggdrasil as a huge cosmic hypercomputer that controls reality, in his manga/anime "Ah! My Goddess"; also how he incorporated the three Norns in this, one of the finest 'harem' scenarios since "Tenchi Muyo": Belldandy, the quintessential 'Yamato Nadeshiko'; Urd the smokin' hot seductress (via her Demon side, natch) and (al)chemist; Skuld the halfpint but genius engineer.

So many Scandinavians I've seen on the internet have felt pride about how Norse mythology/legends have been used in this way - in manga/anime - to showcase the best of their ancient culture, which still has great power today (as does Arthurian legends - and how such is used in 'pop culture' - with we Brits: Sabre in the visual novel/anime "Fate/Stay Night", for example).

...but, post-Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" - the nearest thing has been the Franco-Japanese production "The Mysterious Cities of Gold" - I wish there could be an anime of Mayan mythology & legends today, using their 'World Tree' stories as a basis; and their leaders: '18 Rabbit', and the founder, Kinich Yax Kuk'mo.

11/25/2011 9:21:25 AM

Papabear

Now THAT'S a lot of bullsh*t in one post.

11/25/2011 6:29:27 PM



Why I, Spanish speaker, I have never heard about that "ancient legends"?, maybe because you're making it up?

11/26/2011 11:12:39 AM

Shadoboy

And the funny thing is that all those legends have different heroes.

11/26/2011 10:54:58 PM

SCIENCE!!

well you see, back during the end of the last Ice Age a bunch of early human settlements were wiped out and the land they were standing on were devoured by water. the story was remembered by early human civilization and eventually became the myths you know today. hopefully you listen and learn what I said

3/30/2012 2:29:30 PM

Blue the Thief

@Anon-e-moose

Damn, beat me to it.

3/30/2012 2:32:41 PM

Canadiest

"There's a reason that most ancient cultures have worldwide flood legends, you know."

Floods.
Anything else obvious to all who live in reality that you need the answer to?
Floods.

It'd be more remarkable if no culture documented or wrote stories about them. It's the old pass the story through ten people test, the story changes and often becomes a distinctly different story in scope and details.

3/31/2012 7:31:23 AM
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