Greet your new masters!
Adam and Eve were Christians. They got married.
That Jesus Freak,
[11/24/2011 7:14:39 PM]
Fundie Index: 96
Who then celebrated the marriage?
11/24/2011 7:15:36 PM
Holy shit, 8 words? That's like the shortest quote I've ever seen.
11/24/2011 7:19:44 PM
Huh: The conceit is probably that God/Jesus was the formalizer.
Now, I'd like to know how they could be Christians when there was no Christ to follow. Perhaps TJF thinks Micah, Jeremiah, etc. were Christians, not Jews, just because of the idea that they were trumpeting Jesus's eventual arrival?
11/24/2011 7:24:52 PM
This sounds like something you would see on Casualmalexlfan's tumblr....
11/24/2011 7:30:06 PM
So all married people are Christians? Even those dastardly Muslims?
11/24/2011 7:31:55 PM
They got married.
Let me guess: they did the Las Vegas weekend drive-thru chapel special with an overweight fake Elvis and lots of glitter. Right?
Well, I hope they did it in the summer time. Standing around in fig leaves in the cold may make Eve look kinda sexy, but Adam loses out.
Where did they go on the honeymoon? To some real paradise? (haha)
11/24/2011 7:36:18 PM
Time-travelling Adam and Eve -gotta love it!
And they never got married, according to the Bible. Stop pulling shit out of your ass.
11/24/2011 7:46:35 PM
Yahoo! Answers. Need anyone say more?
11/24/2011 7:54:57 PM
Who officiated the marriage? By what authority where they married by?
Does it even matter that a Christ didn't even exist at that point or was even considered?
11/24/2011 8:11:26 PM
Obvious. Troll is obvious.
11/24/2011 8:11:31 PM
So much fail in so few words...
11/24/2011 8:50:03 PM
Did they have a choice?
11/24/2011 8:59:59 PM
Setting aside the hilarity that is your stupid belief in an old Hebrew fairy tale, you're wrong even in the context of the laws of your fictional universe, in which Adam and Eve supposedly existed several thousand years BEFORE the birth and ministry of the character of Jesus. If you're going to believe nonsense, make it coherent nonsense.
11/24/2011 9:18:55 PM
Ah, Pre-Christian Christians. Gotcha. Well, I'm gonna go drink this quote off...
11/24/2011 9:20:36 PM
I find it quite interesting how little you really know about the scripture of your religion.
11/24/2011 9:59:11 PM
I hope you're trolling.
11/24/2011 10:03:28 PM
What about the pre-Adamites? Were they Christians, too, or were they not ever married? And the first pair of one-celled life forms - Christian?
Well, God, Himself, is one, isn't He? I mean three.
11/24/2011 11:45:52 PM
How could they be Christian if Jesus didn't come until much later (according to the Bible).
11/25/2011 12:00:14 AM
They were Christians before Christ entered the scene?
11/25/2011 12:04:29 AM
Who officiated the ceremony? Who was the best man? And I guess it means it is OK to marry into incest. I mean.....eve was related to adam as a close blood relative.....
11/25/2011 12:46:03 AM
11/25/2011 1:27:16 AM
Anyone who is offended by this is a moron and probably deranged.
11/25/2011 2:50:57 AM
I refuse to accept that this is not a Poe. There's absolutely no way anyone, even a fundy xtian, can be this damn stupid. It's impossible.
11/25/2011 3:01:23 AM
You should mention that to someone - they completely forgot to say anything about them being married in the Bible.
11/25/2011 3:51:22 AM
Raised by Horses
"Adam and Eve were Christians. They got married.."
...said the young girl, pressing her dollies closer together, making nauseating kissing noises as she did.
11/25/2011 4:02:35 AM