Quote# 85022

I was running very low on gas this afternoon, trying to make it to Ingles so I could get a gas card to fill up when I got groceries (3 cents off per gallon if you use a gift/gas card), and I was nervously watching my digital readout tick down the "miles to E" (I love that feature on my car). I was coming through the middle of town when that last number ticked down to "0 miles to E." Needless to say, I was praying for just enough gas to get me to Ingles and to get me to the gas pumps. I pulled into the parking lot, pulled into a space, went in, got my groceries and gas card, the car started up fine, I pulled across the lot to the gas pumps, and stopped at the pump, no problem. God got me to the pump!!

Musician in His house, Rapture Ready 118 Comments [12/1/2011 4:44:20 AM]
Fundie Index: 44
Submitted By: Mel

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"God got me to the pump!!"
No, a car got you to the pump. God just snuck in at the last minute to steal the credit.

12/1/2011 4:52:41 AM

Jesus Klingon

yay god :|

That's it. Got nothin'. I'm clicking "meh".

12/1/2011 4:53:19 AM

Tracer Bullet

the car certainly has parts (more or less parts, depending of the maker) made by workers in semi-slavery conditions, run on petrol extracted probably from non-democratic and opressive contries.
God does not care about those, but cares about giving confort to an spoiled north-american.

Ok, I got it

12/1/2011 4:57:04 AM

No. Science got you to the pump. Science.

And Arab oil.

12/1/2011 5:05:43 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

Why not pray for baby jesus to keep the tank full at all times? Just think of all the money you'd save!

12/1/2011 5:11:18 AM

From the frozen north, Death cometh

It's nice to know your god has time for such insignificant acts. I mean, it's not like there are unspeakable atrocities, natural disasters, starvation, suffering beyond imagining or anything like that happening around the world all the time.

You really are god's special little creation aren't you?

12/1/2011 5:14:20 AM


Don't most cars have an extra tank with emergency fuel that will take the car another 20 miles or so, just in case?

12/1/2011 5:14:22 AM


Musician, get over yourself!

12/1/2011 5:19:29 AM


You realise that the system that reads how much fuel is left in your car isn't 100% accurate, right?

In most cars it's a float inside the tank like the ball cock you get in your toilet cistern that floats on the surface of the fuel, getting lower in the tank as the fuel is used up. The float itself is a little hollow ball on the end of an arm, so when the level gets really low it rests on the bottom of the tank even though there is still fuel around it, just not enough to float on.

When it's resting on the bottom, this tells the car that there is no more fuel left. However, as in the description above there is actually a few miles left sloshing about; just not enough to lift the float off the bottom of the tank and register on your ''Miles to E'' Feature.

Aside from this, during your miraculous journey to the fuel pumps a few African kids almost certainly died for want of clean water. If you can believe that God gave you some fuel to spare you inconvenience while letting those children, and millions like them since this incident happened, die of cholera then you're beyond reason.

12/1/2011 5:25:57 AM


God got me to the pump!!

But you weren't sure he would, were you? You had no faith. You don't really believe that, deep down. You're trying to convince yourself it's true as much as you're trying to convince anyone else.

Because if you'd really, honestly believed god was looking out for you, if there hadn't been a doubt in your mind, then you wouldn't have kept looking at the gauge.

12/1/2011 5:31:36 AM

Dr. Razark

"God got me to the pump!!"

Well, isn't that great. Good thing that your god is so powerful and loving that he managed to keep you from falling victim to your own stupidity.

It's not like there's anything else for him to be doing. Like feeding hungry people. Or preventing priests from raping children. Or stopping a war or ten. Or preventing a man from shooting his girlfriend and their four children. Or dealing with an Afghan woman who is in prison for being raped.

So yeah, your whole gas pump thing really shows how powerful and glorious your god really is.

12/1/2011 5:52:04 AM

Mister Spak

Did god give you the car? And the miles to E feature? And the gas? And the refinery that makes it? And the computer to post your nonsense on?

If you want to convince me your god can do something, drive your car for 100,000 miles without ever putting gas in it.

12/1/2011 6:24:27 AM


This folks is why there is religion. Some moron lucks out getting to the gas pump and believes a divine creator exists and loves him/her enough to do something trivial for them.

12/1/2011 6:27:11 AM


Meanwhile, back at the ranch, god ignores starving and sick children all over the world.

12/1/2011 6:29:21 AM

God got me to the pump!!

So God was miraculously able to get you to the pump before your car sputtered out but he couldn't save over 3000 people on a particular September day ten years ago?

12/1/2011 6:31:10 AM

David B.

I've gone nearly five miles to a gas station with my M2E reading 0, and I'm an atheist.

If God is helping people like MiHH and me not break down, why does anyone run out of gas?

I mean, it couldn't be that knowing how far you've got to go, and the estimated distance you can travel based on recent consumption, that you drove that bit more conservatively and managed to get a couple more miles out of the tank could it?

That'd be just boring and mundane, and you wouldn't be able to use it to pump up your imaginary friend.

12/1/2011 6:31:44 AM


Yeah, fuck those starving children.

12/1/2011 6:38:47 AM

Raised by Horses

12/1/2011 6:45:54 AM


that last number ticked down to "0 miles to E." God got me to the pump!!

No, you idiot. Those things have a large built-in tolerance level so fucking nutcases like you don't clog up the streets with cars that run out of gas. That's common knowledge. Why don't you know it? ... wait, don't answer that question, please.

3 cents off per gallon if you use a gift/gas card

Wow, you saved a whole dollar! Fucking cheapskate. Willing to run out of gas, just to save a few cents. Getting towed would have cost you a wad.

12/1/2011 6:47:50 AM

Arctic Knight

There are 5,280 feet in 1 mile. If you have a distance of 5,279 feet remaining, you technically have 0 mile remaining. Unless your little gauge displays decimals, anything less than 1 will be displayed as 0. I doubt your parking lot was more than 5,279 feet across.

I see no miracle here, I simply see an idiot to claims a miracle where there is none.

12/1/2011 6:49:44 AM


I'm an atheist and the same thing happened to me. God must be helping me too, and without all of the prayer and worship you folks put in. Maybe that's what hell is: doing all of this pious posturing and feeling superior all your life and then finding out that god lets everyone else into the club, too.

12/1/2011 6:51:08 AM

Brendan Rizzo

No. That counter gives only one significant figure. "0 miles to E" means only that there is less than one mile left. It does not mean that there is exactly no gas in the tank. It could very well be 0.5 miles to E, or 0.4 miles to E, and so on. It would round down to zero, but not actually be zero. You weren't that far from the gas station when this happened, after all.

12/1/2011 7:01:37 AM

Doubting Thomas

Meanwhile, millions of kids are starving around the world. But God made sure you didn't have to walk a few blocks.

12/1/2011 7:09:06 AM


Rather silly but not fundy, so meh.

12/1/2011 7:14:33 AM


This was actually the work of Octanius, Roman demigod of fuel efficiency.

These people never praise the right gods.

12/1/2011 7:15:54 AM

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