Johnny Depp's Christmas song has landed him in a whole heap of trouble with a number of religious groups, it has been reported.
The 'Rum Diary' star has teamed up with Babybird to record 'Jesus Stag Night Club' - a song about about a drunken, joy-riding Jesus look-alike who gets his kicks at lap-dancing clubs - and had hoped that it could rival The X-Factor for a Christmas number one.
Lee Douglas, spokesman for the religious pressure group The Christian Coalition, told the Daily Star: "I'm sure he thinks he's being very funny but he's simply a disgrace.
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
A spokesman of the Focus on the Family campaign group said the song was "appalling", adding: "We are sickened by Mr Depp's behaviour. Why did he need to record this song?
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
90 comments
Lee Douglas, spokesman for the religious pressure group The Christian Coalition...
Ah, a little truth at last.
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
And the voice in your head told you this? Sweet xian love
A spokesman of the Focus on the Family campaign group said the song was "appalling", adding: "We are sickened by Mr Depp's behaviour. Why did he need to record this song?
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
It is called humor. Also, did you read a drunken, joy-riding Jesus look-alike this? It isn't about your gawd.
Even if it were - so what? Someone doesn't believe in your cult. Boo-frickin-hoo.
Tell me - how many muslim/jew/hindu cartoons or jokes have YOU laughed at?
I didn't even know he had recorded a song.
There are more pressing issues to get het up about, dearie. Like children starving to death before the age of five, like children being molested by church officials, like diseases and wars and dictators. Ya know; things that actually harms or kills human beings. Getting worked up about a song is rather pathetic, don't you think?
All Christians in the world?
No. Most Christians in the world don't speak English and won't hear about this.
Most of the rest will ignore it as it's just one more silly Christmas record.
Most of the rest will think it's funny. A couple will think they've seen better, but meh, you don't buy a Christmas record expecting gold.
And that leaves YOU, alone, crying in your corner.
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
"If they had but one throat, I'd cut it"
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
You might believe that, but your threats of torture are much more offensive than Depp's song.
A spokesman of the Focus on the Family campaign group said the song was "appalling", adding: "We are sickened by Mr Depp's behaviour. Why did he need to record this song?
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
I can't speak for MR. Depp here, but I think you might have answered your own question. Or at least if I were to do something like this, it would be (in addition of enjoying making it), to show other people how silly you look when you get all bent out of shape for something so insignificant.
Oh come on. This is hardly the first darkly-humorous Christmas song. Besides, the description says that the main character isn't Jesus, but just someone who looks like Jesus, so not even you fundies have any reason to complain. Why do you never actually read/listen to/watch the stuff you complain about?
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
How do you know God doesn't have a sense of humor? Why does he always have to be as humorless and fun-hating as his followers?
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
Maybe Christians need to be slapped in the face to have some sense knocked into them. Maybe eventually they'll realize that they're not the only people with rights.
Meh. American nutjobs get angry at American actor singing with a British band over relatively crappy song. Insert persecution complex and pathetic whining. Disable humour and sense of perspective aspects. Add foam to edge of mouth. Hyperventilation in 5...4...3...2...1...
Grow up. You people are, like it or not, the result of 4 billion years of evolution. Fucking act like it.
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
Jesus forgives, remember jackass?
"A spokesman of the Focus on the Family campaign group said the song was "appalling", adding: "We are sickened by Mr Depp's behaviour. Why did he need to record this song?"
Probably to piss off people like you.
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
Boo. Fucking. Hoo.
Get over yourselves.
Typical Christian oversensitivity. They can spout all kinds of offensive tripe from the bible, but when someone makes a harmless joke at their expense, they act like someone just killed their puppies right in front of their eyes.
Midwest/Bible Belt America. The Land That Irony Forgot.
Lee & his ilk would have aneurysms if he heard the likes of Weird Al Yankovic.
Johnny Depp 'Gets it':
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv9BKilYk9Q
To the extent that - he suspended filming at the time for several days - just to fly to the UK (at his own expense, and for no fee whatsoever; as he's the US's biggest fan of such, just being in it was recompense enough), just to appear in the last ever episode of the BBC's "The Fast Show", specifically the 'Suits You Sir' segment (his absolute favourite, in what is his fave comedy sketch show).
Innuendo and Gratuitous Double-Entendres (a mainstay of British humour) would make Lee here get the vapours & keel over in terror.
PROTIP: In the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" film, he makes a direct reference to "The Fast Show", in which he says '...I'll Get my Hat', based on the '...I'll Get My Coat' segment in such.
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
1) Isn't that between Depp and your Lord?
2) Your Lord sounds like a real asshole.
A spokesman of the Focus on the Family campaign group said the song was "appalling", adding: "We are sickened by Mr Depp's behaviour. Why did he need to record this song?
Somebody singing a song about a "drunken, joy-riding Jesus look-alike": appalling.
Somebody else teaching children that overt discrimination against gays is a good thing: just fine.
You're not making yourself look too good here, Lee.
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
...and what did Jesus say to do when somebody slapped you? Something about the other cheek, as I recall.
I smell a boycott coming!
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
Oh, but telling non-Christians they're going to burn in hell for all eternity is perfectly OK? Not to mention telling people of other faiths they have to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" because you think you own the fucking winter holiday season.
I'm Christian and not offended. It's a Jesus look-alike.
And even if it were actually Jesus, I would hardly call it a "slap in the face" to Christians. And even if it WERE a slap in the face, Johnny Depp wouldn't deserve to burn in hell for it.
Proving once again Christian fundies are deficient in humor.
As for burning in hell, yeah, yeah, loving god and all that...
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
Yes. Because deep down they know they are deluded and are resentful of any criticism that pricks their very thin skin to remind them of the dark pit into which they have cast themselves, and of ridicule that highlights the overall weakness of their position.
There they languish in a dimly lit dungeon that permits no light of humanity to shine and where they may self-righteously revel in their self-importance and self-hatred until they crumble to dust. A black hole from where they foster their illusions of moral superiority and from where they pretend that their mystic pontifications are utterances of deep import and wisdom.
The reality is that their leaders are evil men who just want to justify their self-entitlement and where their gullible followers are brainwashed dupes who parrot whatever pretentious drivel they are told to parrot.
Dear Mr. Douglas,
I'd like to invite you over for the Holiday Season so I can slap you in the face. You seem to be confused on that subject, so I'd like to help you. Bring as many of your friends in Fungus on the Family that would like to join you. I expect to see a lot of cheek turning, but please limit it to the two on your face.
PS: Your God is make-believe. Merry Christmas.
I haven't seen the video, but if it offended you, I'm sorry you were offended. Get over it. Seriously. If I had a dollar for every time an intelligent person, or an atheist, or a nerd (I'm all three) is portrayed in an "offensive" manner in entertainment media, I could pay off the U.S. national debt a hundred times over.
@#1355368
I would never have known about this if it weren't for you idiots at Focus on the Family.
Nice job, morons!
Actually, the article being quoted was written by EntertainmentWise, not by Focus on the Family. Lee Douglas (from FotF) is being quoted within the article.
"One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
Ok, so what the fuck is YOUR problem then? Let you god deal with it when they are dead!
Oh Christ, who gives a shit?
I find most of the things the Christian Coalition and the Focus on the Family say "appalling" myself, so why don't they just shut the fuck up and mind their own business.
Nobody's forcing them to listen.
image
Why is it a slap in the face exactly? Is your faith that weak that you have to try and shut down anyone who makes fun of it? If he's to be tortured in hell anyway, you'll have the last laugh. So shutup, turn the other cheek, love your enemy and pray for Johnny Depp's salvation.
Calm down. It's a Jesus LOOKALIKE. And thanks for letting us all know about this song! Now I'm going to have to check it out.
Thank you, Jonny Depp, for pissing off fundies.
Next: FoF will host a Melville book-burning to protest Billy Budd. Actually, American lit, including song lyrics, is lousy with Jeebus imagery and symbolism. A pity, that.
Oops, almost forgot Easy Rider.
That is Captain Depp for you, land lubber.
still, if jesus was alive, i think he would be laughing his ass of when he heard this
Speaking of "appalling":
image
"Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life..."
Yeah, those Jesus look-a-likes can really be a slap in the face to Christians all over the world.
That song is nothing compared to the names you people call liberals, gays, atheists, Hindus, Jews, Muslims, and other people who disagree with you. So stop your bitching and shut the fuck up.
Or...and bear with me here...maybe, just maybe, none of that is going to happen because your religion is a bunch of made up horse shit.
But then again...you could be right too...and the sun could be made of peanut butter.
Lyrics here:
Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady
Bloody thorns 'round his ears like he was a crazy
He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine
Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine
He said, "There's great sadness in life, but don't sit there and blub:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!"
I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging naked off a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man
When you throw it in the air it's resurrected from your hand
We went to a motel, he showed me his Bible
I said, "Tell me the truth," while he looked me in the eyeball
He said, "There's great happiness in life but don't just sit there in love:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!"
I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I'm giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
"This is my last few seconds on Earth"
Part deux:
Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up
He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow M coffee cup
I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up
But when I turned around I could see
it was Jesus
I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging on a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
I can't remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I'm giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
"This is my last few seconds on Earth!"
I'm not certain that it's just a look-alike, but the Jesus guy's pretty cool. How many people do you know who give out free tickets to strangers to cheer them up?
You get pissed off over someone sort of accidentally insulting your religion, but give no credit to, say NOFX, who has this line in a song:
Some ecstasy, a thin white line
He says designer drugs beat the hell out of wine
("He" being Jesus)
And they are actually trying to insult you. It's like someone slapped you in the face and you keep walking but then someone gently nudges your elbow 20 ft down the road and you flip the fuck out.
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
Oh, but when you make fun of Mohammad or Joseph Smith it's all hunky-dory. You fundies are the ultimate example of throwing rocks from a glass house.
"It is a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
No, that would be your kind, Mr. Fundyface.
Johnny Depp's tune is about a guy who LOOKS like Jesus, it's "humor".
So, the guy in the song is not actually Jesus, son god; just a look a like! I haven't heard the song yet, but in most cases they lyrics are kinda like: ... and looks like Jesus" In this case, it might very well be a song about a guy who looks like one of our field technicians who's name is Jesus! There are a lot of guys out there named Jesus!
@ Doubting Thomas
"How do you know God doesn't have a sense of humor?"
You know what they say: a platypus is proof that God DOES have a sense of humor.
As for FOTF, you people look just as ridiculous as the way Muslims act over a drawing of Muhammad that isn't offensive other than the fact that it is drawn.
"one day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgement of our lard and they will burn in hell for this filth."
Speaking for gawd are we??? Maybe gawd has a different plan. And if so, he may hold you liable for speaking untruthfully on his behalf and send you in hell to burn.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.