Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 85215

[L]iberals believe the world is out of resources, that the world is gonna die, that we're going to run out of water and we'll have to start eating each other. They don't trust humanity to take care of itself and they believe we are on our own in the universe with no higher power watching out for us. No wonder they are hopeless. They are at the mercy of their superstitions.

Conservatives know none of these things are true, and we have a basic faith in humanity and God. Life is good as long as you work to make it so.

voltOhm, fark.com 63 Comments [12/14/2011 12:32:00 PM]
Fundie Index: 76
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Scorpius

Broken irony meter...damnit.

12/14/2011 12:43:59 PM

Terry Stroud

Superstitions! Ha.

In a related note:
Black is white
Ignorance is power
Weakness is strength
In is out
And words can mean whatever you want them to mean.

12/14/2011 12:46:08 PM

breakerslion

Conservatives know none of these things.

Fixed.

I will never understand how the term "conservative" got so perverted as to not include the idea of conservation. As has been said many times before, where do you get the idea that you can crap on, and use up this world and God will just fix it? If you give your child a toy and he smashes it, do you just buy him a new one? Too many people behave like human locusts.

12/14/2011 12:55:24 PM

Argle Bargle

"God will make us another planet when we wreck this one! It's all about me! Yeeehaaaw!"

12/14/2011 1:01:07 PM

Old Viking

Please send more information about eating each other.

12/14/2011 1:04:11 PM

Bollox

A world in which David Cameron ... hell, probably Vladimir Putin ... is a rabid Socialist ... I preferred the alternative universe where Major Kira wore a basque.

12/14/2011 1:08:41 PM

TB Tabby

And I thought only the smart kids knew how to run the projector.

Conservatives believe that poor = lazy and hard-working = rioh; therefore, that single mother of three who's working two jobs and still can't make ends meet must be a lazy bum living off handouts, and that trust fund brat who never even picked up a pen until Daddy handed him an executive job with a six-figure salary on a silver platter is a hard-working go-getter who pulls himself up by his own bootstraps. They believe in personal freedom and that the government should stay out of our lives...until women want to get abortions and men want to marry men, of course. They believe the Bible is absolute, literal fact when it says homosexuality is an abomination, but is open to interpretation when it says you should sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor. They believe hard work can solve problems, as long as it doesn't require them to make even the most minor of sacrifices. That's why they like prayer so much: it's the perfect way to do nothing and still feel like you've done something. They believe admitting to being wrong about anything is the worst thing you can do. They believe that decades of research supporting global warming and evolution isn't trustworthy, but hearing one person say vaccines cause autism is gospel truth. They believe America is constantly beset on all sides by purely-evil enemies who want to take out freedoms away, and are trying to thwart them by taking our freedoms away first. Their so-called "courage" is pants-wetting fear of anything new or different that might prove their previously-held beliefs false.

12/14/2011 1:17:49 PM

Often Partisan

Ideology 101:

"[L]iberals believe the world is out of resources, that the world is gonna die, that we're going to run out of water and we'll have to start eating each other."
This sounds more like environmentalist ideology...even then it isn't exactly accurate

"They don't trust humanity to take care of itself"
The key tenet of Liberalism as an ideology is Individualism. They believe people are essentially rational (and self interested). Humans can look after themselves fine...

"and they believe we are on our own in the universe with no higher power watching out for us."
While there is possibly a correlation between more leftist ideology and atheism, "does not believe in god" is not part of the ideology.

"Conservatives know none of these things are true, and we have a basic faith in humanity and God"
Incorrect. Conservative ideology tends to subscribe more to a Tragic Vision of Human Nature than Liberalism which is essentially progressive. (Think Whig conceptions of history). As it believes that humans are rational and self interested it tends to believe that they can progress and improve society as well. Whereas for Conservatives they key point is to avoid messing things up & traditional insitutions have proved their worth (as the Church could be considered one this is teh only bit you get semi-right).

12/14/2011 1:24:02 PM

Wehpudicabok

"They are at the mercy of their superstitions."

Irony meter: broken.

12/14/2011 1:25:56 PM

aaa

When you people have this kind of attitude on running the world, i don't want to rescue your ass when your policies inevitably fuck up everything.

12/14/2011 1:29:23 PM

Reynardine

Listen, Dork, if I were God and you broke the beautiful planet I gave you, I wouldn't buy you another one. I'd send you off to sulk in a place with no ice cream.

12/14/2011 1:39:41 PM

Robespierre

We CAN take care of ourselves: that's why we should fucking do it, and stop acting like our big skydaddy will come solve our fuck-ups.

I honestly don't give a fuck about cute animals and trees; responsible management of our irreplaceable natural capital is in our bloody self-interest.

EDIT: sorry about all the fucks.

12/14/2011 1:49:50 PM

Agahnim

Superstition? Fundies have superstitions. Everyone else has reality.

Oh, and the conservatives you speak of? They don't know what they think; they just jam their fingers in their ears and deny reality.

12/14/2011 2:18:51 PM

LeProon

Only part of your statement I don't disagree with is the very end.

But I'm grading your poorly on everything else, plus billing you for the new irony meter.

12/14/2011 2:38:25 PM

Brendan Rizzo

...Except for the small detail that it is conservatives who are sabotaging all attempts to avoid ecological catastrophe.

12/14/2011 2:51:12 PM

farpadokly

The world has limited resources, the world will die if we don't take care of it, and water is scarce. Don't know where the eating each other bit came from.
This kind of opinion is the result of an utterly soft and sheltered lifestyle in an extremely wealthy country. It combines arrogance and ignorance, boasting and self-deceit.

12/14/2011 3:24:52 PM

D Laurier

"[L]iberals believe the world is out of resources,that the world is gonna die, that we're going to run out of water and we'll have to start eating each other"
Not quite, but the liberal party does admit that we should probably be a bit more responsible.
The liberal party was the second party to accept the need for restraint and sustainability in our use of resources.

The conservative party has pretty much handed our resources over to the American empire, and given a blank cheque to any foreign corporation that wants to suck the life out of this country.

12/14/2011 3:36:31 PM

Zagen30

[L]iberals believe the world is out of resources

Show me someone who thinks we're out of resources right now. We're not, but some of the resources most important to our society such as oil are finite and nonrenewable, so we should really be getting around to finding something renewable before we run out. God's not going to put more oil in the ground.

that the world is gonna die

Uh...what? Fundies are the ones going on and on about the Rapture or about how the dirty Muslims are trying to destroy the world (or at least America, which for all intents and purposes is the world to them). The Mayan 2012 myth is just that, a myth.

that we're going to run out of water and we'll have to start eating each other.

You must have a very spacious rear to keep pulling these things out of it.

They don't trust humanity to take care of itself and they believe we are on our own in the universe with no higher power watching out for us.

I could just as easily argue that atheists (who are not all liberals, just as not all liberals are atheists) have more faith in humanity since we are convinced no one else will help us.

No wonder they are hopeless. They are at the mercy of their superstitions.

Ahahahahahaha that's a good one. Not that I would expect him to understand that a superstition is a belief in supernatural causality, when atheists distinctly don't believe in supernatural events.

Conservatives know none of these things are true, and we have a basic faith in humanity and God. Life is good as long as you work to make it so.

Most liberals have a basic faith in humanity. Stop claiming the moral high ground when you don't actually hold it. Most liberals work just as hard as conservatives

12/14/2011 4:00:25 PM

SpukiKitty

Sooooooo......when all the farmland's used up you think the Big Guy's gonna magically drop a big bag of food from the sky?

No water? No problem! Gabriel will just cruise through here in his/her tanker truck of fresh water!

12/14/2011 4:08:09 PM

Skatepunk

I will never comprehend these types of conspiracy theories saying Global Warming is just a myth, while God is real.

Perhaps if they listen to people that AREN'T Al Gore, they may think differently.

... oh, who am I kidding? They would deny the fact that cyanide is toxic if the Bible said it wasn't.

12/14/2011 4:38:55 PM

tracer

So, let's see ... you Fundies believe that Armageddon is right around the corner, that the stars are going to fall from the sky, that war-pstilence-famine-and-death are about to descend upon us all, that the whole Earth is about to be destroyed, that the world is going to Hell in a handbasket ...

... but global warming is not happening! No sirree bob!

12/14/2011 4:39:01 PM

Pule Thamex

Conservatives know that the world, being eternally exploitable, contains limitless resources and that there will be a never ending series of opportunities for making a buck.

But if the worst does come to the worst, they also vaguely know that an invisible non-existent magic super god-man-ghost will keep putting the pennies in their pockets ...somehow ...possibly by prayer.

You know you can trust Conservatives' folksy good sense and fear of not being able to command the world's resources as though those resources were a herd of camels or women.

12/14/2011 4:52:13 PM

Raised by Horses


12/14/2011 5:03:14 PM

Jesus Klingon

"[L]iberals believe the world is out of resources, that the world is gonna die, that we're going to run out of water and we'll have to start eating each other."

Sounds like one of those wingnut survivalist fantasies.

12/14/2011 5:33:44 PM

Philbert McAdamia

"It doesn't matter how ridiculous a lie is if the lie is your only chance of escape. It doesn't matter how obvious the truth is if the truth is that you'll never escape."______Irina Asinova, Gorky Park

12/14/2011 5:38:58 PM
1 2 3