Quote# 85227

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.

Link to Landover Baptist website
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21
Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.

Jim Carlson, OBJECTIVE: Ministries 73 Comments [12/27/2011 4:02:07 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
Submitted By: Dr. Flibble

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Can people stop posting these, they are a very clever satire and very fake.

EDIT: should have read the post first D:

12/27/2011 4:18:32 AM


Hey, stupid,
The Internet was not created by the U.S.A. It was initially thought up by a British scientist, and developed by the CERN people in Europe.
Apart from that, fuck off.

12/27/2011 4:22:27 AM


The fail and unwarranted self-importance are strong with this one. [/Yoda]

Also, First Amendment and Treaty of Tripoli, bitch! The USA aren't a Xian nation, and freedom of speech means that people can criticize your religion to their heart's content.

12/27/2011 4:30:01 AM


Actually the internet is an American (originally military) invention - it just refers to the structure of the network.

The World Wide Web is what makes it work for the rest of us & that was invented by Tim Berners-Lee (British) working for CERN (European). No-one owns it - that's the whole point.

12/27/2011 4:32:12 AM


Jim Carlson, you unsaved trash, how dare you call the One True Church a fraud or a joke?! You're surely gonna burn in hell.

12/27/2011 4:41:00 AM


The internet is an international phenomenon. Even if American fundies could have some control over it, the rest of the world would simply continue filling it with porn and cats. Ehm, and blasphemy, I guess.

12/27/2011 4:50:00 AM


Things we can do:

Prayer. It is our best weapon against the anti-Christian forces. We must pray not only that the Lord will intervene on behalf of the unsaved who are being damaged by Americhrist Ltd., but also for the souls of those same unsaved. Furthermore, we must pray that Chris Harper and his fellow hatemongers will themselves be saved and cease in their evil actions.

12/27/2011 4:53:36 AM


12/27/2011 4:57:59 AM


Lanover Baptist is a joke that no one takes seriously. No one is dumb enough to think that ALL Christians are like that.

If you really want someone to be outraged at, then why don't you focus on the Westboro Baptist "Church", who are a real cult/hate group who actually does make Christianity look bad. They, and people like them, are the reason people distrust and reject your religion.

12/27/2011 5:12:49 AM


OBJECTIVE: Ministries is a satire.

12/27/2011 5:13:34 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

maxedout is correct.

To add insult to injury, Mr. Carlson, if you do some research, you'll find that Al Gore really was on the leading edge of the developement of the internet. You dumbfucks vilified him for his claim. You were wrong. And you are wrong in every aspect of this diatribe.

12/27/2011 5:17:59 AM


Failed in the first 10 words.

More proof that fundies have no sense of humor.

12/27/2011 5:19:14 AM

We could obtain electricity from Turing spinning in his grave.

12/27/2011 5:20:40 AM


Best of luck, bitches.

12/27/2011 5:52:37 AM

This site is a parody. A good one, though.

12/27/2011 6:02:44 AM

mad the swine

Yep, Objective: Ministries is a parody. (http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Objective:_Ministries)

12/27/2011 6:07:49 AM


Why is this posted here?

As others have already pointed out, Objective: Ministries is a spoof and the anti Landover Baptist page is a running gag with a long history.

Funny, but not fundie.

12/27/2011 6:14:50 AM


Dear fuckwitted Christian,
The Internet belongs to the world. Your nation was founded on secular principles, not Christian ones. Please get a clue or fuck off.
A sane individual who knows more about history than you do.

12/27/2011 7:28:47 AM

Doubting Thomas

I really believe this is a satire site. Or at least I really hope it is. It really gets hard to tell these days.

12/27/2011 7:31:17 AM

I'm glad this is only a parody. It had me a bit concerned, especially in the light of SOPA potentially passing. It's not unrealistic to think that numbnuts who actually believe stuff like this would file false and frivolous copyright claims to get sites they don't approve of censored and blocked.

12/27/2011 7:48:41 AM

Professor Smartypants

Well, yeah, and you wouldn't have the computers that the internet is based on if it weren't for that godless homosexual Turing. Computing is from Satan! And all that software stuff they run wouldn't work without the abomination that is the compiler - pioneered by a woman in authority over men, which is clearly unbiblical! No way you should be accepting this!

Let go of your keyboard, wash your hands and pray for forgiveness. Jesus might just about be able to save you if you STOP RIGHT NOW!!!

12/27/2011 8:00:36 AM


The inventors of the internet relied on algebra, which is a muslim invention. Therefore, the internet is islamic.

12/27/2011 8:31:53 AM

Jim , please get a grip. Landover Baptist is much nicer than Westboro. Didn't you like the article "tampons - satans cottony fingers" ?

The internet is mostly porn sites anyway, try removing Adult Empire first.

12/27/2011 8:43:25 AM


I think the only reason we are quoting sites like this is to maintain their cover.

12/27/2011 9:02:53 AM


maxedout said:

Actually the internet is an American (originally military) invention - it just refers to the structure of the network.

Not quite.

The Internet we know today, was initially created as a merger between DARPANET, various US university networks and EU-net. I was connected through EU-net prior to the Internet. It had some really simple services such as ftp, telnet, ntp and gopher.

12/27/2011 9:03:31 AM

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