Quote# 85227

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.

Link to Landover Baptist website
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21
Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.

Jim Carlson, OBJECTIVE: Ministries 73 Comments [12/27/2011 4:02:07 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
Submitted By: Dr. Flibble

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So . . . it's a satire of a satire?

12/27/2011 9:24:09 AM


Maybe, but the computer the internet uses was invented by a gay British man. Checkmate.

12/27/2011 9:36:23 AM

Thinking Allowed

Hey Jim, you do realize that Landover Baptist Church is parody.

12/27/2011 9:55:42 AM


I am so glad this is a poe.

12/27/2011 9:55:51 AM


Ever hear of something called the 1st Amendment asswipe?

I didn't need secular culture to convince me that some Christians, not Christianity itself, but some Christians, are evil. Christianity has redeeming quailities about it, once you get past the silliness, but fundies like you don't.

12/27/2011 10:20:07 AM


The US is a secular nation, your Christian nation argument is a lost and pointless endeavor. The internet was originally developed to be a communications network to survive a nuclear event thanks to the cold war. It was then seen as a commercial and communications potential. It allows the free flow of ideas and information. Something your kind doesn't appreciate.

Also the Landover Baptist church is a satire, something I'm sure flies right over your heads.

12/27/2011 10:39:36 AM


The United States is NOT a Christian nation and the Internet was created under the protection of free speech and the free exercise of religion.

12/27/2011 11:15:01 AM

Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis

"This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse".

Be my guest:

12/27/2011 11:27:00 AM


"The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech."

Digital Computer: Britain (Colossus). Germany (Z1)

Operating System: Britain (Alan Turing)

Supercomputer: Britain (Atlas)

Large-scale networking of computers: Belgium

World Wide Web: Britain (Sir Tim Berners-Lee; CERN [Geneva, Switzerland])

"This is our Internet"

No it's not. Because we say so.

And so what if the parody Landover Baptist Church helps to [i]destroy[/i[ you? Because you deserve to be destroyed, fundies.

12/27/2011 11:28:24 AM


Hee hee, you're silly!

12/27/2011 11:36:52 AM


Landover Baptist is a parody. Also you failed history and the first amendment.

12/27/2011 12:07:18 PM


One word, and concept, about Landover Baptist Church that I'm positive escapes your tiny mind, Carlson, you dimwitted, fucking tool: SATIRE!


PS. "Your Internet"? "YOUR INTERNET"?!?!? Are you fucking serial??? Who the Jesus H. Goddamn Motherfucking Christ on a popcicle stick do you think you are, you fascistic little shitstain? Fuck you and christofascist horse you rode in on!

12/27/2011 12:24:20 PM


Trolls trolling trolls.....

12/27/2011 12:37:21 PM


At least he figured out that Landover Baptist is a Poe site. That's pretty perceptive for a fundy so I'll give him a half point. His assertions about the "Christian origin" of this country and the internet are, however, pure BS.

12/27/2011 1:25:05 PM

Old Viking

It's your Internet? Well, thanks. The porn is getting better by the day.

12/27/2011 1:39:55 PM


Once again, the religious cry for censorship of opposing views.

I treat every position in which their only defense is "we are not to be questioned" with great distrust. And people like Jimmy make it worse.

Oh, and America is not Christian.

12/27/2011 3:15:38 PM


I read the first sentence and thought: "Freedom of speech, bro". Also, other countries use the internet too.

12/27/2011 4:27:35 PM

Benjamin Geiger

By the way, the computer as we know it was invented by a Hungarian-American engineer (John von Neumann). Turing laid the foundations for the study of computer science, but von Neumann made the critical breakthrough that allowed computers to do such varied things: treating code as data.

12/27/2011 4:42:35 PM


I had never heard of Landover Baptist Church, and this entry prompted me to look it up. I don't see how anybody can miss that it's a send-up. Or is Objective Ministries itself putting us on?

12/27/2011 6:10:50 PM


Fundie fight!!!!!!!!!!!!

12/27/2011 6:54:16 PM


The US is not a Christian nation. That renders the rest of your argument moot.

12/27/2011 6:55:06 PM


Alan Turing helped make computers possible.

You lose.

12/27/2011 8:11:46 PM

Greater Good

Fawful (or anyone else):

Please link to pr0n in the future, rather than post it directly. I use a family computer on this site, and if someone looked over my shoulder at the wrong moment...


12/27/2011 8:45:52 PM


Ummm...isn't Objective Ministries a parody?

12/27/2011 10:07:15 PM


"Their true purpose is not to spread the gospel of our lard, but to trick people...."

Nope. I dont think so. It seems to me that their purpose is to show the absurdity of xianity by emphasizing the absurdity of the xian message, and babble. Their spoofs are indeed supported by scripture. In the middle ages, witches were burned and hanged because...it is plainly demanded in the babble to kill them. I really wish you xians would stand up and claim your religion and its religious texts.

12/27/2011 11:14:20 PM

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