Quote# 85227

The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.

Link to Landover Baptist website
WARNING: Should not be viewed by anyone under 21
Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.

For this blasphemous atrocity, the Landover Baptist website must be removed from our Internet.

Jim Carlson, OBJECTIVE: Ministries 73 Comments [12/27/2011 4:02:07 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
Submitted By: Dr. Flibble

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lol, only religion could declare war on so many things for such trite reasons. Christian love my hairy ass

12/27/2011 11:20:02 PM

The Jamo

The internet is American now? HAHAHAHA! Oh man, have we got news for you. But hey, even if it was and even IF you owned it and controlled it, the rest of us would just start our own network. It's not like we cannot use these phonelines for anything else. You lose either way.

12/28/2011 4:29:31 AM


What I find simultaneously hilarious and absolutely scary is that although it has been pointed out very clearly in this thread that "Objective: Ministries" is a spoof (= a fake, not a genuine fundie website, the same as Landover Baptist), nevertheless the vast majority of posters has ploughed ahead and jumped all over it with harsh criticism as if it were real.

That doesn't exactly cast a positive light on this site, does it? What a shame. :-(

12/28/2011 5:11:21 AM


Aww, that's cute. But see, the Internet could have never been invented without first, the invention of the computer. And seeing as how the computer was actually invented by a gay man, Alan Turing, the Internet would at least partially be the property of gay people according to your logic.

12/28/2011 9:03:33 AM


A parody of a parody of extremist fundies.

Objective and Landover, I applaud you both!

12/28/2011 9:35:10 AM


Possibly the funniest fucking thing I've ever read. I think I'd be laughing to hard to dispute this asshole, if I were to ever come across him.

12/28/2011 10:59:36 AM

Greater Good


I don't think a lot of people actually read the comments, they just post and move on. I am thinking this one should be removed due to its parody nature.

12/28/2011 11:04:55 AM

Quantum Mechanic

The internet was created by a bunch of atheists in physics departments so they could communicate. The money came from DARPA because the network could lose a node and still work; Like in a war, see?.

The World Wide Web was invented by Tim Berners-Lee at CERN. That's not in the United States, scooter.

Oh yes, Treaty of Tripoli bitch!



12/28/2011 11:22:00 AM


Oh? This is an interesting switch from the declarations that the web is in fact the literal creation, tool, and spiritual trapping device of Satan.

Actually the initial concept for the internet was put forth by famous Serbian inventor Nikola Tesla, who happened to be an atheist... and sort of crazy. He also wanted to give it out for free.

One of many things the lovable mad scientist never got any credit for.

12/28/2011 4:31:08 PM


Hey everybody...OBJECTIVE is a parody site. That's been pretty well established. Seriously, do a search on any of the major search engines.

It doesn't belong on FSTDT.

12/29/2011 1:55:07 AM

I thought the Internet sort of created itself. It started in British and American military intelligens and just grew, like a living organism.

Don't the Landover Baptists claim to amuse people? If your religion lend itself so easily to mockery, maybe there's something wrong with the religion, not with the mockery.

12/29/2011 2:27:19 AM


You own the internet?

12/29/2011 6:13:52 PM

sorry, not the USA but Al Gore personally built the interwebs.

The interwebs is for Porn, and lolcats, and a few dog pics are allowed if they are funny (other small animals too, like baby hamsters with their first brocli)

12/31/2011 5:14:40 PM

The Duelist

Unfounded Assertion #1; that America is a Christian country. The only evidence this site gives is personal anecdotes from the Founding Fathers that hold no legal authority or merit whatsoever. Plus, he also claims that the Constitution was based on Christian morals, but offers no evidence whatsoever, which makes that Unfounded Assertion #2.

#3; Christians, or Americans, "own" the Internet. Computers and the Internet were created by atheists, and yet we don't try to claim it as our own.

It's funny how Christians are too fucking stupid to respond to the arguments crushing their cult; instead, they must try to impose fascist ideology on society, take control of information outlets, and then silence everyone who opposes them. Just more proof that christianity is a failed doomsday cult, nothing more.

1/4/2012 11:31:16 AM

How about stopping Hard core porn , bestiality porn, etc before Landover baptist, home of Tampons , Satans cottiny fingers ?

1/4/2012 10:36:03 PM


Computers were created by a gay dude. You were saying?

1/9/2012 10:09:01 PM

Seeker Lancer

Landover Baptist is satire. Not fundie.

2/23/2012 11:38:59 AM


Jesus is imaginary. <-----Oooo take that Christian internet!!!

2/23/2012 11:59:15 AM


Thanks Hitler!

2/23/2012 12:11:51 PM

Quantum Mechanic


4/13/2013 3:37:23 PM

rubber chicken

The Internet was created to ensure that, in the event of Nuclear Armageddon, USAF generals would still have access to porn.

4/13/2013 7:28:06 PM


The computer was invented by a gay atheist non-American, so kindly fuck off.

4/14/2013 3:17:58 AM


Landover Baptist: A parody of right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity. To expose it's very insanity. PROTIP: you can't spell right-wing Fundamentalist Christianity without the word Mental. Oh, and another thing (re. 'YOUR internet'?!):

The concept of large-scale networking of computers: Belgium. Before ARPANET.

The concept of electronic devices placed in orbit, so as to relay radio signals to other parts of the world: Arthur C. Clarke. 1945. UK. 16 years before Telstar; and guess who was recruited to be senior technical advisor to the project...?

WWW: CERN, Geneva. Switzerland. Sir Tim Berners-Lee (HTML). UK.

Digital computers: Colossus. Alan Turing. WWII. UK.

You're welcome, USA. [/mega-sarcasm]

4/14/2013 5:45:37 AM

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