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Quote# 85333

Catholics were not the first church. Jesus was the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Jerusalem.

The Baptist Fundamental faith has been around since Jesus started it Himself. It wasn't called Baptist then, the beliefs were and are the same.

xr4297, Y! answers 75 Comments [12/23/2011 4:03:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 99
WTF?! || meh
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shykid

...how can someone have so much faith in something and be so profoundly ignorant of it at the same time?

12/23/2011 4:08:32 AM

Ken

I don't think a sect popularized by Southern hicks was started in Jerusalem.

Christianity started as an underground cult and was made popular when Emperor Constantine converted. The first organized church was the Roman Catholic Church.

12/23/2011 4:19:16 AM

Tardis

Ummmm....Jesus was Jewish.

Hint - there is a whole collection of books, half of which are dedicated to him. You might try to read them sometime...especially if you are going to profess believing that stuff as reality.

If you are going to believe in it you might want to understand the history and actual doctrine surrounding those beliefs.

12/23/2011 4:30:24 AM

Raised by Horses

And strangely enough, it doesn't really matter how the cult in question got started. The bottom line is that the nonsense that it spouts and forces upon others is still nonsense. Funny how that works.

12/23/2011 4:42:58 AM

SpukiKitty

Y!answers....must be a troll being a dork. Nothing new here. Move on, guys....

12/23/2011 4:49:32 AM

jsonitsac

What we have here is a Baptist Successionist:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptist_successionism

12/23/2011 5:00:31 AM

checkmate

The Baptist Fundamental faith has been around since Jesus started it Himself.

Yes! Exactly.

But, he told all his followers to sit on their hands and shut up until 1611 when the Authorized King James Version of his words would finally be published.

Everything that happened between Jesus' founding of the First Baptist Church of Jerusalem and 1611 is heresy and all those so-called early Christians are burning in Hell. Hot, hot, hot.

12/23/2011 5:14:03 AM

Nerikull

Can we have the Jesus Facepalm posted for this?

That, or [citation needed]. What manner of proof have you for this, Mr. Idiot Fundie?

12/23/2011 5:18:13 AM

Idgas

History fail

12/23/2011 5:34:40 AM

Quantum Mechanic

Nice to see Baptists are still liars.

12/23/2011 5:56:34 AM

MarylandBear

the beliefs were and are the same.

Oh, really? So, you hold all your property in common like the original Christians did?

12/23/2011 5:58:35 AM

Mudak

No True Scotsman fallacy, eh?

12/23/2011 6:03:28 AM

Percy Q. Shunn


12/23/2011 6:09:04 AM

Chest Rockwell


12/23/2011 6:10:01 AM

Peter Fitzinya


12/23/2011 6:14:55 AM

Quantum Mechanic

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Where do they get this shit?
Saturday Night Live?

12/23/2011 6:21:32 AM

checkmate

the beliefs were and are the same.

That is in part true.

Back then the Christians were absolutely certain that Jesus' return and the end of the world would happen during their lifetime. Jesus even said it would.

Now, 2000 years, i.e. about 100 generations later, Baptist fundamentalists are still pretty sure Jesus will be coming back any day now, most certainly before Obama's second term ends.

I guess "live and learn" isn't a "Baptuss thang".

12/23/2011 6:54:18 AM

Horsefeathers

"Catholics were not the first church. Jesus was the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Jerusalem.

The Baptist Fundamental faith has been around since Jesus started it Himself. It wasn't called Baptist then, the beliefs were and are the same."


Exactly how delusional (brainwashed?) do you have to be to believe this?

12/23/2011 7:27:03 AM

Doubting Thomas

I really can't tell if this is a poe or not. I can easily see some Baptist making this claim, right before they say, "And Jesus weren't no Jew, neither. His last name was Christ, not Christowitz."

12/23/2011 7:44:22 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Except for the small fact that the Baptist theology can clearly be traced no further back than John Smyth, in 1609. Even if you claim that he somehow "rediscovered" the teachings of Baptism which were somehow repressed (something that according to Christianity is impossible) that would not explain why even previous reformers such as Luther and Calvin did not preach anything like that. And of course, the beliefs of Baptist fundies (such as the rapture, laissez-faire capitalism and the prosperity gospel, warhawkishness, anti-intellectualism, and being a judgemental douchebag) are found nowhere in the teachings of Jesus. In fact, Jesus condemned most of those. Thus, you are Antichrists in the Biblical sense.

12/23/2011 7:44:41 AM

The_L

During the first century, there was the Pauline church (which later became the RCC and Greek Orthodox) and there were churches who believed things about Jesus that are now considered heretical by pretty much all modern Christians.

So I must know: was the First Baptist Church of Jerusalem Coptic? Arian? Gnostic?

12/23/2011 7:53:37 AM

Anon-e-moose

There's a good reason why that site is called 'Yahoo Answers'

The word 'Yahoo' is a clue, xr4297.

12/23/2011 8:09:42 AM

Mister Spak

The baptist fundamental faith was invented in 1851 so racists could pretend god authorized their racism. It was mental then and it's still mental now.

12/23/2011 8:13:28 AM

Lucilius

If this was true, the Shroud of Turin would be polyester.

12/23/2011 8:56:23 AM

Noneofyourbusiness

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NewerThanTheyThink

12/23/2011 9:22:20 AM
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