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Quote# 85399

Religions are funny.

An ordinary religion tells men to crash a plane into a tower full of joos and we will bang 72 hot virgin teenagers in paradise.

A secular religion tells men to be good little slaves for the possibility of some aging 37 year grudgingly settling for them.

I think I'll take the more boxcuttery religion.

Gordon Freeman, Men Going Their Own Way 77 Comments [12/28/2011 3:55:37 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
Submitted By: Balthazar The Wise
WTF?! || meh
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Raised by Horses

So, you're happy to believe BS that someone else made up over BS that you just made up?

Them's strong words, indeed.

12/28/2011 4:11:27 AM

The Jamo

Wow, and here I thought that Gordon Freeman will never say a word.

12/28/2011 4:19:21 AM



Do not sully the name of Gordon Freeman, sir.

12/28/2011 4:19:58 AM

Sweet Fancy Moses

Would be more aptly named "crowbary religion," but that's just me.

12/28/2011 4:20:29 AM

Lpopman

the possibility of some aging 37 year grudgingly settling for them

And here was I, thinking that you had something going on with Alyx there Gordon.

Oh, and where the fuck is my episode 3?

12/28/2011 4:41:41 AM

solomongrundy

Odd that no one ever mentions that in addition to the 72 virgins you get 80,000 servants or that the virgins are supposedly 60 cubits (27.5m) tall, 7 cubits (3.2m) wide and 'transparent to the marrow of their bones'.

Source: WikiIslam
http://wikiislam.net/wiki/72_Virgins

12/28/2011 4:44:32 AM

aaa

Somebody wrote this and posted it on a public forum.

12/28/2011 4:54:17 AM

Wehpudicabok

Any idea what that third line is trying to say/referring to? Anyone?

Never mind the fact that "secular religion" is an oxymoron; I'll assume you meant either "naturalistic religion" or "secular moral code and philosophical movement."

12/28/2011 4:54:51 AM

Raised by Horses

@solomongrundy

So... the Islamic afterlife is basically this?


12/28/2011 5:11:34 AM

checkmate

I think I'll take the more boxcuttery religion.

Wow, making sick jokes at the expense of the 9/11 victims.

Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.

12/28/2011 5:15:55 AM

D Laurier

So three imaginary religions...
Why not just pick a REAL religion, or none at all.

12/28/2011 5:23:46 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

Gordo sez:


12/28/2011 5:33:30 AM



You're a disgrace to the name Gordon Freeman. Turn in your crowbar. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.

12/28/2011 5:49:51 AM

TB Tabby

Well, now we know why he never talks in the games.

12/28/2011 5:51:55 AM

Badger

'72 hot virgin teenagers in paradise'

Does it say teenagers? Or is that just you?...

12/28/2011 6:11:52 AM

Mudak

Could someone please explain to me the appeal of 72 virgins in the first place? I'm guessing that by about the fourth or fifth virgin, I'd practically beg Allah for someone with more experience.

12/28/2011 6:15:45 AM

Man Called True

@Mudak: To quote Jeff Dunham's Walter, "72 virgins... Why not 72 slutty broads who know what the hell they're doing?!?"

12/28/2011 6:43:07 AM

Reynardine

What the Hell is this Man Going to the Toilet blathering about now? As it's from this site, I gather that "aging 37-year..." was supposed to be followed by "woman". There must be scores of millions of 37- year-old women on the planet, some of whom are aging and others of whom are in their prime. Who does this poster think is a dictator over all of male humanity?

Meanwhile, "joos"? This could be a product of illiteracy or bigotry, but the one does not exclude the other.

Finish your #1 and #2, little man, and then be sure and pull your pants up, but not before you clean yourself thoroughly.

12/28/2011 6:50:38 AM

Tempus



You have sullied the good name of Doctor Freeman. And he does not forget.

12/28/2011 7:15:54 AM

Vermicious Knid

Gordon, please imitate your namesake by shutting the fuck up.

PS. That "aging 37-year-old" is too good for you and doesn't have to settle for you now or ever.

PSS. What they didn't tell you about those 72 virgins is that you'd be one of them.

12/28/2011 8:02:03 AM

Vermicious Knid

Gordon, please imitate your namesake by shutting the fuck up.

PS. That "aging 37-year-old" is too good for you and doesn't have to settle for you now or ever.

PSS. What they didn't tell you about those 72 virgins is that you'd be one of them.

12/28/2011 8:04:25 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Die in a fire, thou who dost not deserve to take the name of Badass Extraordinaire, Gordon Freeman.

12/28/2011 8:10:22 AM

Iel

And a real religion will teach self-control and acting with compassion and love for your fellow man.

I love the smell of burning straw in the morning.

12/28/2011 8:18:37 AM

DevilsChaplain

Internet Jihadist : P

How pathetic.

12/28/2011 8:35:22 AM

John

Yeah, but the 37 year old is an actual woman. If you want pretend women, skip religion - just get some porn.

12/28/2011 8:51:11 AM
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