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Quote# 85457

What I believe is this: if you masturbate, you will turn into a homosexual, if you aren't one already. If you become a homosexual, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with an animal, and you will catch AIDS and die.

Michael Crook, Michael Crook's Blog 82 Comments [1/3/2012 4:16:01 AM]
Fundie Index: 182
WTF?! || meh
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Brendan Rizzo

Please be a troll...

1/3/2012 7:28:28 AM

Horsefeathers

"What I believe is this: if you masturbate, you will turn into a homosexual, if you aren't one already. If you become a homosexual, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with an animal, and you will catch AIDS and die."

And I believe you're wrong--and a fucking idiot. But mostly just wrong.

1/3/2012 7:42:08 AM

JSS

Well what I believe is this: That you and your laughably ignorant theory mentioned above as well as your other vitriolic contexual opinions are worthless and miniscule, that the proverbial froth coming from your mouth needs to find a toilet somewhere instead of eroding the Internet, and that you yourself would serve society better by rotting away and ceasing to exist.

And I say this with all due respect, because no respect is actually due.

1/3/2012 8:33:56 AM



This dick is just repeating shit from a book called "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by one of Mormonism's profits,Spencer W. Kimball.

The whole fucking book is nothing but blaming raped/molested people for what happened to them. It's a waste of ink and paper.

1/3/2012 8:43:46 AM



I see zero kids in this schmuck's future.

1/3/2012 8:56:52 AM

farpadokly

I had my first wank about 20 years ago, and I'm still not gay, nor have I fucked any animals. Bang goes that theory.

1/3/2012 9:06:18 AM

D Laurier

So you believe a whole lot of nonsense then.
A person who is not already a homosexual, cannot "turn into" a homosexual... any more than a blue eyed person can turn into a hazel eyed person.

1/3/2012 9:23:43 AM

Michael

I've been at it for eight years... Still not gay.

1/3/2012 9:29:36 AM

Osiris

Oh it's the retarded vein of logic where masturbating makes you homosexual because you love yourself and you're touching your own genitalia. Except that's autophilia not homosexuality and while I'm sure gay men masturbate just as much as straight men, there is no evidence to show there's any connection at all.

1/3/2012 9:57:00 AM

Thinking Allowed

I've been masturbating for years and am attracted to men. Does that count since I'm a woman?

1/3/2012 10:01:02 AM



So, 99% of people are homosexual, and the other 1% is lying.

1/3/2012 10:10:50 AM

Berny

What I believe is this: Michael Crook is a moron.
If masturbation could make you a homosexual, 99% of the population would be gay.

1/3/2012 10:38:08 AM

Headache

In order to take stupidity to this level, you have to be an American!

1/3/2012 10:40:18 AM

J. James

@checkmate

This is not just a brain fart. This is ass-flapping mental diarrhea.

This level of absurdity defies adjectives. Sure, masturbating to Gay porn means you're gay, but masturbating to straight porn means you're straight. It really isn't that difficult.

Aside from that, homosexuality has nothing to do with animal rape. Also, it's implied here that the AIDS came from the animal, which is a huge biology fail in and of itself(in most cases).

Lastly, assuming this was true for a moment, WHY THE FLYING FUCK ISN'T EVERY PERSON ON THE PLANET A HOMOSEXUAL ANIMAL-RAPING AIDS INFECTEE YET!?

1/3/2012 10:51:59 AM

ChakatBlackstar

That was wrong in like...5 different ways

1/3/2012 10:58:11 AM

freako104

This can't be serious, too fucking stupid. I've been masturbating 20+ years. Still straight

1/3/2012 11:27:36 AM

Joe Mama

I have a hard time accepting that anyone actually believes this. This reminds me of years ago when the Catholic Church stated that masturbation was medically bad for you, and among other things, could cause stroke (after stroke after stroke after stroke, apparently!) I don't know how anyone can repeat this stuff with a straight face when everyone can see through such blatant lies.

Don't forget that you'll grow hair on your palms and go blind. But at least it'll clear up your acne.

The rest of it appears to be nothing more than slippery slope scare tactics. "Don't jerk off because it will make you gay and have sex with animals and die from AIDS! You don't want to die from AIDS, do you?"

I truly feel sorry for this person's kids.

1/3/2012 11:30:35 AM

JohnTheAtheist

Well who can argue with that?

1/3/2012 11:35:30 AM



If masturbating while thinking of hot women makes you gay, then actually having sex with hot women makes you even more gay! And the hotter the woman you're having sex with, the gayer you are!

Of course this doesn't apply to women, in which case you should substitute "men" for "women."

1/3/2012 11:40:08 AM

Felis >:3

So Mr. Crook, are you not gay yourself, given that you're a total and utter wanker?

1/3/2012 11:57:59 AM

AZJamie1

Guys, he's right! I jerk off all the time and now I'm a furry!

1/3/2012 12:34:56 PM



What I believe is this: you are a complete and total idiot.

1/3/2012 12:36:39 PM



Sounds like someone is worried about the kind of fantasies he has.

1/3/2012 12:49:47 PM

Wehpudicabok

Well, if you really believe that, it explains why you're so angry...

1/3/2012 1:55:54 PM

Old Viking

But in the interval you will save a lot on gloves.

1/3/2012 2:04:06 PM
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