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Quote# 85457

What I believe is this: if you masturbate, you will turn into a homosexual, if you aren't one already. If you become a homosexual, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with an animal, and you will catch AIDS and die.

Michael Crook, Michael Crook's Blog 82 Comments [1/3/2012 4:16:01 AM]
Fundie Index: 183
WTF?! || meh
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Brandy Bogard

@Headache

You are literally no better than him.

Shut your fucking mouth or I'll make you shut it.

By the way, I doubt you ever visited the camp that Anders Breivik shot up.

By the way, is anyone else not surprised that this guy supports SOPA? (Headache probably does too...)

1/3/2012 2:26:38 PM

Reynardine

Does he mean that you will so lust to f yourself exclusively that, because you are of the same sex as yourself, then you are homosexual?

1/3/2012 2:29:11 PM

Lotus-Thing

That's gross Michael. You're gross.

Gross and wrong.

Keep the hell away from my dog you sicko.

1/3/2012 2:31:09 PM

Itachirumon

Orientation - Proud Homosexual
# of Times Masturbated - 10,958 approximately (assuming 3 times a day for 10 years).

-removes glasses- Mother of God.....

No, seriously, you're a fucking idiot dude.

1/3/2012 2:44:33 PM

= POPE =

Sorry to burst your nice little narcissistic/solipsistic bubble, but NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU BELIEVE! LEARN SOME SHIT OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

1/3/2012 3:07:15 PM

rw23

So I should have caught AIDS at the age of 12 before anyone recognised that HIV/AIDS existed, and rather than later risking catching it from [names deleted because I was brought up to respect women] I should definitely have caught it from a sheep instead?

I bet Michael Crook has lobbed one off to a sheep. The clue is in the surname.

1/3/2012 3:07:24 PM

checkmate

@Headache

In order to take stupidity to this level, you have to be an American!

Strange, I thought you weren't an American. Are you telling us you are?

If so, in reference to the stupidity level, please speak for yourself.

1/3/2012 3:13:44 PM

Matante

Ok, I believe you, boys who masturbate will catch AIDS.
But look at it this way:
How else does a straight boy discovers his sexuality?
With GIRLS!!!
And boys who smooch with girls will catch COOTIES!!!
AIDS, or cooties, I'm sorry but the choice is clear.


P.S.: People, stop getting all worked up over what Headache says, that's the only reason he says it. In other words, he's one happy, well-fed little troll.

1/3/2012 4:25:07 PM

Giardano Bruno

Yes I am getting annoyed with Headache too. Of course there are stupid people in USA but there are stupid people everywhere.

If he were to make those comments about, purely as an example, Botswana, he might realise how offensive he is being.

1/3/2012 4:25:21 PM

nazani14

Page not found
Sorry, the page you were looking for in the blog Michael Crook's Blog does not exist.

Shucks, I wanted to see if he was over 7 years old.

1/3/2012 5:11:16 PM

Brandy Bogard

@Matante

If he's a troll, then why hasn't he been banned yet?

1/3/2012 5:52:06 PM

DevilsChaplain

"In order to take stupidity to this level, you have to be an American!"

Headache, both you and Michael Crook are trolls. You can both fuck off.

1/3/2012 6:08:54 PM

whoanelly

This whole post:

Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

1/3/2012 6:39:16 PM

Matante

Brandy:
Getting multiple commenters to react without crossing the line into bannable territory makes him a succesful troll.
Trolls are just attention whores after all. Nothing forces them to be rude, threatening or otherwise call for a ban... But if you want him out of here, you can always report him and see if a moderator eventually agrees.

And so:
What I believe is this: if you're an attention whore, you will turn into a troll, if you aren't one already. If you become a troll, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with a chanboard, and you will catch AIDS and die.

1/3/2012 7:14:40 PM

Karana

Wait....what?

Then everyone is homosexual.....

1/3/2012 8:22:14 PM

SomeoneYouKnow

If that's true then everybody is gay and lesbian. My uncle has a saying which I think is true, "99% of people masturbate, the other 1% are full of horse shit and lie about not masturbating."

1/3/2012 10:54:16 PM

Brendan Rizzo

@ Matante:

That is the most brilliant thing I have ever read. (Although I do concede that when it comes to politicians, Headache has a point.)

1/4/2012 9:26:31 AM

aaa

I don't think that is how masturbation works. I have no idea how you got to this conclusion, but i suspect that it has something to do with your browsing history.

1/4/2012 11:09:03 AM

Big Jilm

Crook, (fitting name)...please don't equivocate your personal experience to the rest of the world. How you leaped from knuckle-chuckle to lying with your gramma-daughter to humping your dog is your experience and yours alone.

1/4/2012 12:05:01 PM

observiNG

Wow, that's real slippery! WHEEEEEEEeeeee!!!....

1/4/2012 2:44:39 PM

Iczer-four

let me check my truth-o meter


it seems that you are full of shit..

1/4/2012 3:03:39 PM

LadyJafaria

This slope is so slippery you could ski on it, but I'm getting a distinct whiff of Poe.

1/4/2012 7:13:47 PM

Cuneas

Masturbating turns you gay?

Give me a minute.

...No, not yet. But I'll keep checking every few hours. The world has to know!

1/4/2012 11:23:13 PM

Tixolopitli

I find highly unlikely that Michael Crook has never masturbated.

1/5/2012 2:59:29 PM

Shadoboy

Just because you only can masturbate to pictures of furry gay sex, doesn't mean everyone does the same.

1/5/2012 11:33:43 PM
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