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Quote# 85509

Pat Robertson says God has told him who the next president will be — but it’s a secret.

The televangelist revealed on Tuesday that he had spent the nearly a week in prayer, asking God to “show me something.”

“I think He showed me the next president, but I’m not supposed to talk about that,” Robertson explained. “So I’ll leave you in the dark — probably just as well — I think I’ll know who it will be.”

[...]

“He is saying you will have worse stress than before. So I’m saying, ‘God, let me give you some suggestions and you tell me if any of them is right, pick one,’” Robertson explained. “I said, ‘Is it an EMP blast? No that isn’t it. Is it a cosmic or solar or radiation blast? No. Is it Mayan galaxy alignment? No. Is it Iranian or North Korean nuclear threat? No. Is it an earthquake or a volcano? No. Is it a massive power failure? No.’”

“What is it? It’s an economic collapse,” the conservative leader finally disclosed. “And God said, ‘This is not my judgment, they are bringing it upon themselves.’”

Pat Robertson, The Raw Story 74 Comments [1/7/2012 11:11:28 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
WTF?! || meh
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Onelife

Damn. I was banking on it being an EMP blast. There goes my beer money.

1/7/2012 11:15:50 AM

The Guy.

I guess I owe my friend five bucks. I was betting on Zombie Apocolypse.

1/7/2012 11:20:49 AM

f_christain

yes, God tells "secrets" to Pat Robertson.
If this isn't the height of arrogance, I don't know what is.
On the other hand, my scotch and soda has told me a few secrets before.

1/7/2012 11:27:26 AM

JSS

"I distrust those who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" -Susan B. Anthony

1/7/2012 11:34:52 AM

Thinking Allowed

The televangelist revealed on Tuesday that he had spent the nearly a week in prayer, asking God to “show me something.”

Hey Pat, isn't that testing your god? I thought the bible said you shouldn't do that.

1/7/2012 11:36:52 AM

Nerikull

"Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves." - Metatron, "Dogma"

I'm thinking the latter in Pat's case.

1/7/2012 11:37:46 AM

Doubting Thomas

I actually was worried about an economic collapse, but since Pat Robertson predicted it, I'm not so worried now.

And let me guess, after the election Pat will finally reveal who God told him the next president would be?

1/7/2012 11:39:24 AM

freako104

So you're not supposed to talk about it but you do.

1/7/2012 11:49:14 AM

John

“And God said, ‘This is not my judgment, they are bringing it upon themselves.’”

That's true. Nothing is God's judgment. Atheist? You get cancer. God-fearing fundamentalist Baptist? You still get cancer. Wear a yarmulke and eat chicken and cheesecake with separate forks? You still get cancer. Bow toward Mecca and chant words in Arabic five times a day? Yup - cancer. Eat a wafer chanted over by a priest every Sunday? Cancer! Same with tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, heart attacks, strokes, losing a child, running your car into a pole, getting fired or the heartbreak of psoriasis. The only thing God seems to do is keep atheists out of jail and the divorce court. Those He seems to reserve mainly for religious fundies who are constantly pestering Him.

1/7/2012 12:03:21 PM

David B.

Yes, prophecy is just so much easier if you say you can't let anyone know what you prophesize before the event, isn't it Pat?

How is anyone stupid enough to believe this guy?

1/7/2012 12:03:27 PM

Anon-e-moose

"Pat Robertson says God has told him who the next president will be — but it’s a secret."

So you don't actually know, eh Pat? Okay.

Well, it won't be Hermy the Spermy, nor Batscat Shelly, that's for sure! [/rubs salt in wound]

As for something out of a Tom Clancy novel, Sci-Fi film, deleted scene from "Apocalypto", $cientology's OT-III document, a scene from "Die Hard" or seeing too many reports on MyMood ImMadInTheHead & Kim Jong-uh?! on Faux News, methinks Pat here has finally gone bye-bye, folks.

1/7/2012 12:29:43 PM

checkmate

I know what next week's lottery numbers are - but it’s a secret.

the next president ... I’ll leave you in the dark

"Dark"? Did he say "dark"? Hint, hint ... ;-)

1/7/2012 12:38:39 PM

Horsefeathers

"Pat Robertson says God has told him who the next president will be — but it’s a secret."

Well now, isn't that convenient.

"The televangelist revealed on Tuesday that he had spent the nearly a week in prayer, asking God to 'show me something.'"

Like the phone number to a good psychiatrist, for example.

"'I think He showed me the next president, but I’m not supposed to talk about that,' Robertson explained. 'So I’ll leave you in the dark — probably just as well — I think I’ll know who it will be.'"

I know how you feel, Patty. I know all of the winning lottery numbers for the next five years, but unfortunately I can't tell anyone and I've sworn to my invisible friend that I won't play them either.

Damn it all.

"'He is saying you will have worse stress than before. So I’m saying, ‘God, let me give you some suggestions and you tell me if any of them is right, pick one,’' Robertson explained. 'I said, ‘Is it an EMP blast? No that isn’t it. Is it a cosmic or solar or radiation blast? No. Is it Mayan galaxy alignment? No. Is it Iranian or North Korean nuclear threat? No. Is it an earthquake or a volcano? No. Is it a massive power failure? No.’'

'What is it? It’s an economic collapse,' the conservative leader finally disclosed. “And God said, 'This is not my judgment, they are bringing it upon themselves.’"


Yet again, Pat shows why nobody should take him seriously.

Ever.

1/7/2012 12:50:51 PM

whoanelly

I am waiting with bated breath for the day this guy is exposed to his fundie flock as a fraud.

1/7/2012 12:51:37 PM

DinosaurRidinJeebus

So let me guess...switching to conservative economic ideas will instantly fix the economy?

That isn't how it works.

If we ever want our economy to be "fixed" we need to stop being so political and be more scientific. Economics is a scientific issue, not a political one. As long as both parties are making incorrect decisions based on their "opinion" of what the economy needs (I quote opinion since it really isn't an opinion, there is usually one right or wrong answer...and most of the time both parties have it wrong).

I just wish economic scientists and not political jackasses controlled our economy. I swear, everyone should have to take a better economics class than the one they make you take in high school. After studying econ for about 20 minutes with an unbiased eye, it becomes pretty obvious that both parties are blowing bullshit out their mouths and have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to economic science.

In a society that encourages politics, religion, and other forms of irrational nonsense, I am sadly not surprised. People are frustrating. I wish they would just be logical. It is so simple.

1/7/2012 1:10:51 PM

DinosaurRidinJeebus

So let me guess...switching to conservative economic ideas will instantly fix the economy?

That isn't how it works.

If we ever want our economy to be "fixed" we need to stop being so political and be more scientific. Economics is a scientific issue, not a political one. As long as both parties are making incorrect decisions based on their "opinion" of what the economy needs (I quote opinion since it really isn't an opinion, there is usually one right or wrong answer...and most of the time both parties have it wrong).

I just wish economic scientists and not political jackasses controlled our economy. I swear, everyone should have to take a better economics class than the one they make you take in high school. After studying econ for about 20 minutes with an unbiased eye, it becomes pretty obvious that both parties are blowing bullshit out their mouths and have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to economic science.

In a society that encourages politics, religion, and other forms of irrational nonsense, I am sadly not surprised. People are frustrating. I wish they would just be logical. It is so simple.

1/7/2012 1:11:55 PM

Often Partisan

It's pretty easy to predict an economic collapse. Capitalism pretty much by definition is "Boom and Bust" so Robertson is correct to say that there will be an economic collapse some time in the future. The problem is that I could have predicted that too.

1/7/2012 1:20:48 PM

CleverScreenName

How many of Pat Robertson's predictions have turned out to be wrong over the years?

And doesn't his own Bible demand the execution of false prophets?

1/7/2012 1:34:23 PM



Mister, may you one day have to face Him for whom you so often claim to speak.

1/7/2012 1:55:15 PM

Jeff Weskamp

@CleverScreenName:

Yes, it does.

1/7/2012 1:56:08 PM



He´s not saying anything because he fears to be wrong for the one millionth time.

1/7/2012 1:56:59 PM

farpadokly

Sounds like he's playing charades with God. "Gimme a clue. Starts with E, four syllables, sounds like comic... economic... collapse?!"

1/7/2012 2:45:53 PM

Papabear

Yeah, the best proof for the existence of God is a revelation which can't be made public. Good job, Pat.

Yeah, make a few suggestions to your omnipotent, omniscient God. Good thinking, Pat.

Yeah, and of course your omni-benevolent God wouldn't step in and prevent an economic collapse, he'd sit by and watch poor people everywhere take it in the teeth. Don't worry, Pat, you're rich, you'll be fine.

1/7/2012 2:59:50 PM

LDM

He's probably right-we keep voting Conservatives in and we will have an economic collapse, since all they care about is stopping gays from marrying.

1/7/2012 4:10:07 PM

breakerslion

Would someone please explain to me why this babbling asshole still gets any attention at all? It has been obvious for years that he is that craziest person in the room that insists on defining reality. Where is Pat Halley when you need him?

1/7/2012 4:14:20 PM
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