The second confirmation [for the Rapture] came yesterday (Thursday) morning. For nearly a year now, my wife and I have been trying to set a date to have our pastor and his wife over for dinner and a movie at our house. We have a small Blu-ray movie theater, and his wife has been wanting to see the Disney movie "Up". When he called, he said that the only solid date that works for them is Friday night January 27. We'll be watching "Up"!!! (in more ways than one!!!)
61 comments
Sounds like the pastor didn't want to come, putting them off for a year like that, and I can't say I blame him.
(I've never understood this 'dinner and a movie' thing. If I have friends over, I want to talk with them, not sit staring at some Hollywood crap for an hour and a half).
Huh? I don't even... So you actually think the rapture will happen Jan 27th because that's when your pastor and his wife could make it to watch a movie?
I know these people are so extremely desperate for the rapture, but damn this is crazy. I can't wait for the letdown on the morning of the 28th.
Not to mention I'm picturing the pastor saying to his wife, "All right, we've been putting this off for a year, but let's go over to the crazy rapture people's house and watch a movie. I hope they don't want to talk about the rapture all night, though. If they do, it'll be another year before I go back."
By God, I think he's right! I opened up a movie file and its size was exactly a half megabyte. Well, a byte can store one of 256 different numbers, and half of 256 gives 128 - get it? 1-28! Also, I added up some old lottery tickets and my winnings were exactly $28 so I "won 28"! How clear could that be?
Maybe God should write a "Where's Waldo"-type book, where you pour over each picture and try to find the Rapture date hidden in six or eight places.
@Doubting Thomas - I think he means it will be on the 28th, so the 27th will be the last day they can watch the movie.
How did America ever get to this point? You are experiencing a sickness, a mass delusion, and I really wonder what its origins are.
Looking at the whole site, it's amazing how ordinary, mundane consumerism can coincide with an almost nihilistic longing for death and destruction. Something has happened in these people's minds.
The promised heaven is always explicitly associated with being part of an elect and with the suffering of others. The apocalypse, meanwhile, is always eagerly expected and always postponed. What is the psychological reward here, the payoff?
The bloke who thought of Wall E was a Christian.
At the risk of sounding like a gimp, I really like Wall E. It's a bit like one of Don Bluth's good films, it's very nostalgic and quite sweet.
Yep, I sound like a gimp, don't I?
EDIT:
@Bollox - Hollywood crap? I beg your pardon!?
"For nearly a year now, my wife and I have been trying to set a date to have our pastor and his wife over for dinner and a movie at our house"
When you mentioned the film's name "Up", your pastor probably thought you were going to show him this :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up!_%281976_film%29
It's the only possible explanation for why he's been putting off said date. [/smartarse]
But then, Russ Meyer or Pixar, what the fuck has either to do with the (C)Rapture, pray tell?! Wasn't the late Steve Jobs - who made Pixar the animation powerhouse it is today - an Atheist , and therefore anathema to you & your ilk?!
I like that movie "Up."
You know that character, Charles Muntz? The main villain from the series? It's sad, really. He went crazy because he wasn't believed by anyone, so he secluded himself in a luxurious, flying relic of a bygone age and slowly turned murderously insane in his self-inforced isolation from the rest of society. Eventually he dies from his own vitriol and stupidity.
Yeah. That doesn't sound familiar at all...
@MisterSpak
Brilliant comment!
@Felis >:3: I love Wall-E and I'm glad if it what you say is true that it was created by a Christian, then I'm just glad that there are still Christians out there who are concerned with the direction our fast food culture is having on us as a people and our planet. Christians like the one in this quote above can't give two shits about anything beyond their own myopic little existence, having convinced themselves that there is obviously no way the Earth could out live them.
Sooooooo....you're gonna bring about the Apocalypse with a nice homey, friendly get-together with a cute PIXAR flick?!!
So if I did the same with "Yellow Submarine", Religious Fundyism, Ethnobigotry, Sexism & Homo/Transphobia would die, war would end, the Hate Groups, RINOS & Teabaggers all desinegrate to ash in the sun & The two main Political Parties in the USA with be The Greens & The Democrats....I WISH!
I wonder what would happen if they watched "Little Nicky"?
Look fundies, you wanna leave Earth that bad, here's what you do....get yourself something like a handgun, shotgun, tank of carbon monoxide gas, cyanide, razor blades, nooses, etc....Or perhaps lose all the windows & light the fireplace with the flue closed. Take a nice long dip in a cold lake in January. Sit in the closed garage with the car running....THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!
@Osiris: Same here! If it helps, I tend to think that the fundamentalists, such as those quoted on here, aren't, generally speaking, genuine Christians anyway.
How...is your pastor having a free slot in his schedule next week a...sign?
There's no way this person can be serious, right?
@Felis >:3: No True Scotsman fallacy. Christianity is a diverse religion and I'm not going to pass judgement on who is and is not a true Christian. A Christian is both someone who gives to the poor and follows the teachings of Jesus, as well as someone who smugly goes to the streets and tells everyone why they are filled with sin and need to accept Jesus into their lives.
@Osirus
How about "Good Christian" & "Bad Christian", then? They're both Christians. However, the "Good Christian" is a good soul who takes Jesus' message & social teachings to heart while the latter is a Pharisee who only does the "evangelism" part, ignores everything else, emulates the OT & drives everyone nuts.
You should go read the site - he 'knows' when its going to happen because his wife ignored a red light and had an accident with a man who as 27 years old, the last two numbers in the cost of the accident are 28, and when he asked for a confirmation sign, god told him pizza. Then he went to a dingy bar that NEVER serves food, and saw a couple eating pizza.
Yep, I'm convinced. lol
These Rapture types are beyond my understanding.
They honestly are so desperate to be lifted out of this world that they are seeing signs and portents in car number plates and US diplomatic missions, yet their lives are not bad. They have enough to eat, have plenty of material stuff, have easy lives.
Maybe if it was a starving Somalian woman in a camp in Kenya looking for signs that the Lord will take her and her dying babies out of this hellish existence and into Paradise where there is water and food and all their needs satisfied I would understand but these people who hate this sin ridden world so much are living the life of Riley.
@NoE
A friend of mine has the Blu-Rays of the "Final Destination" films (he also has both "Human Centipede" ones; I won't be borrowing those, and after hearing about such, I never will! >_< ).
This Raptard would never leave the house again, if he ever watched such! >:D
To 'nutts valley', I think it's obvious why your Pastor has refused your invitations for dinner, he probably thinks you're a nut.
(Assuming the Pastor's a royal holy roller as well, that says a lot)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.