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Quote# 85858

In three sentences why I became an atheist:

1) I've always wanted to be just like Madelyn O'Hare

2) I've always thought Stalin was misunderstood

3) The thought of abortion makes me happy

Joe, Amazon Religion Forum 59 Comments [1/31/2012 4:40:49 AM]
Fundie Index: 69
WTF?! || meh
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JustinGG

Wow. Clever bucko.

1/31/2012 4:48:39 AM

whatever

It's a pity the thought of abortion didn't make your mother happy.

1/31/2012 4:55:10 AM

Titania

obvious poe is obvious

1/31/2012 5:05:23 AM

Robespierre

Remarkably, fundies fail to grasp that LIKING something does not make it true.

I'm an atheist because, to the best of our knowledge, there are no gods around. If i liked to believe in a god, there would still be no god around. If believing in a god made one a wonderful person and a gift to oneself and the world, there would STILL be no god around.

1/31/2012 5:09:55 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

Your 3 reasons make you sound like a fucking moron. But, that's the beauty of America; you're free to be willfully ignorant.

1/31/2012 5:13:54 AM

Comrade Potatovich

In three sentences why I became a Baptist:

1) I've always wanted to be like Bill Clinton

2) I've always thought Nathan Bedford Forrest was misunderstood

3) The thought of vigilante justice makes me happy

1/31/2012 5:48:47 AM

Mister Spak

In three sentences why I became a fundie:

1)I've always wanted to be just like Hitler.

2)I've always thought Bush was misunderestimated.

3(The thought of exterminating heathens makes me happy

1/31/2012 5:54:17 AM



"I've always wanted to be just like [Madalyn Murray O'Hair]"

Kidnapped, tortured, murdered and cut into pieces?

You should probably see someone about that.

1/31/2012 5:55:46 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Obviously, this is a fundie posing an as atheist. It's just too obvious in this case. I am also sure that everybody on that forum except the fundamentalists saw right through that in an instant.

1/31/2012 6:06:35 AM

The_L

I am really sick of these troll posts. They give real atheists a bad name.

1/31/2012 6:06:41 AM

Sweet Fancy Moses

I get it, it's satire. Clever.

1/31/2012 6:08:05 AM

Mrs. Antichrist

4) ???

5) PROFIT!

1/31/2012 6:20:41 AM

dionysus

You forgot:

4) Because babies are tasty.

1/31/2012 6:48:57 AM

D Laurier

So you are a lunatic and a sociopathic monster.
You could have stayed a christian just as easily.

Oh wait... you DID stay a christian.

1/31/2012 6:52:50 AM

cy4nide

Is there like a reverse of Poe's Law? Cause I'm curious, you ALWAYS see people pretending to be ridiculous Christians and the like, but I'm yet to see a convincing faux-Atheist and the like. Can it happen? Does it exist? This clearly isn't it and it's barely related, but it makes me wonder

1/31/2012 6:53:21 AM

d.w

eat your veggie now,it wil make you big and strong.twat a big boyyyy.

1/31/2012 6:56:17 AM

TGRwulf

Obvious troll is obvious.

1/31/2012 7:10:51 AM

Noneofyourbusiness

cy4nide

Where do you see people pretending to be ridiculous Christians? The vast majority of the quotes here are not poes, you know, despite people calling "poe" a lot.

Yes, there have been people like this before. I can think of one in recent memory.

1/31/2012 7:11:00 AM

Doubting Thomas

Spoken by someone who has never understood atheism.

Did you know that there are many atheists out there who don't like abortion?

1/31/2012 7:13:22 AM

Big Jilm

Well, that's a nice demonized phantom menace you have there. You really think this is how atheists arrive at their conclusion? Sorry it hurts your feelings that we just don't believe your bullshit. I know it hurts...I know you feel the need to lash out, pull shit out of your ass, and make the dumbest assumptions.

Let's turn the tables a bit:

In three sentences [for] why I became a theist:

1. I've always wanted to be just like some other male authority figure bigger than myself (due to us theists and our Napoleon complexes).

2. I always thought Catholic leaders who protected child molesters were misunderstood.

3. The thought of sending the youth to their deaths in a senseless war so Haliburton could launder their money through the American armed forces gives me a raging fucking hardon.

1/31/2012 7:21:03 AM

emau99

Well done, Joe.

Those straw men will never harm anyone again.

1/31/2012 7:31:31 AM

Anon-e-moose



Even good ol' Edgar Allen's expression here is exactly like that of Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones' 'Implied Facepalm'.

(Ye gods, but he's a damn good actor; from "The Executioner's Song" to the upcoming "MiB III", I've never seen him in a bad film!)

1/31/2012 7:38:01 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

I can explain why I became an atheist in just ONE sentence:

I could not find sufficient evidence to convince me of the existence of any god.

1/31/2012 7:46:18 AM

Horsefeathers

Well, I'll be damned. Those are my exact reasons too!

/sarcasm

1/31/2012 8:03:16 AM

Dr.Shrinker

1) O'Hare may not have been a terribly pleasant person, but she did have the courage and conviction to stand up for her principles. I find that much more admirable than kowtowing to the self-appointed spokesperson of a phantom in the hopes of obtaining some post-life reward, the existence of which we must assume on faith.

2) As atheism is neither a political nor an economic perspective, this assertion makes no sense.

3) Well, the thought of women being able to control their own bodies and their own destinies does make me happy. An essential part of that is freedom of reproductive choice. Personally though, I'd be happier with fewer abortions and greater access to birth control and reproductive education, neither of which fundamentalists are likely to assist with.

So, hey, two out of three, not bad. If only the fundamentalists could have similar success when discussing science, they might actually be worth listening to.

1/31/2012 8:37:13 AM
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