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Quote# 86238

The only real question left is what design will we use for our Flag in the oncoming Civil War II. Old Glory, Stars & Bars, the Eagle, the Lion, or the Holy Cross? I would vote for the Cross, with smaller emblems of the others. Because war is on its way. There is only one alternative: slavery.

Amerikanish, The Orthosphere 57 Comments [2/28/2012 4:23:32 AM]
Fundie Index: 59
Submitted By: Ryan
WTF?! || meh
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Papabear

So, every last detail of your imagined revolution has been planned out except for the design of yoiur flag? That's a comfort. I mean, it's a comfort because it shows that you're just a raving nutter with no real ability to effect anything.

P.S. Of course you'd pick a cross, all Fundie a**hats with no idea of why the US was founded would pick a cross.

2/28/2012 9:48:28 AM

Berny

This is too fuckwitted for comments.
Check the website if you truly want a scary look at the Right. These people are delusional beyond words.

2/28/2012 10:22:05 AM

Anon

>>Because war is on its way. There is only one alternative: slavery.<<

Please, tell me: who do you feel is trying to enslave you?

2/28/2012 10:22:40 AM

Big Jilm Part Deux

And this begs the question: what good would you knuckle-draggers be as slaves anyway? All you can do is make fries and burgers and the GOP has you duped into doing that for a measly minimum wage while you live with your gramma-daughter.

2/28/2012 10:41:22 AM

Firewing

Do you seriously want to start another Civil War?

I know you're spoiling for a fight. Do remember how soundly you were defeated before. Do you honestly want to suffer that humiliation again?

2/28/2012 11:27:12 AM

Doctor Whom

I would vote for the cross, too. How about a white cross on a white background? The canton can be white with one white star for each state on your side.

2/28/2012 11:33:13 AM

\m/>_<\m/

guy sounds like a friggin' keyboard crusader... and here i thought the martial orders long gone, except in reconstitutions...

2/28/2012 11:38:00 AM

Stick Boy

http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-postpones-rising-again-for-yet-another-year,377/

2/28/2012 12:00:16 PM

Phoenix

Is he trying to bring back slavery? O.o

2/28/2012 12:17:29 PM

Sasha

I have mixed feelings about the fundies seceding. On the one hand, it would provide free entertainment as we watched Dumbfuckistan implode into utter chaos and failure. On the other hand, the flood of refugees would be a drain on our social services.

2/28/2012 12:45:38 PM



The website that this came from is full of stupidity. I think I lost several IQ points just by reading it.

2/28/2012 1:07:27 PM

The_L

"Because war is on its way. There is only one alternative: and end to slavery."

Fixed.

2/28/2012 1:34:06 PM

checkmate

Because war is on its way

Yeah, and I hope you make it to the toilet in time. Happy war.



When you and your friends are finished buying the weapons and ammunition from the people you want to fight against, you can raise the only flag you know:


2/28/2012 1:42:27 PM

JohnTheAtheist

There is zero chance of civil war in the United States. Zero.

2/28/2012 1:46:36 PM

aaa

Feel free to use anything, as long as it makes you an easy target. Have fun dealing with all kinds of bullshit rest of the world had to endure during their wars.

2/28/2012 2:01:49 PM

= POPE =

Your flag has already been chosen by the New World Order Committee.

Instructions:

The size of the flag is determined by the exposed height of the flagpole from which it is flying. The only consideration is for the flag to be in proper proportion to its pole.

Flagpole Height (ft.) Flag Size (ft.)
20 4 x 6
25 5 x 8
40 6 x 10
50 8 x 12
60 10 x 15
70 12 x 18
90 15 x 25
125 20 x 30
200 30 x 40
250 40 x 50

On a properly proportioned field of bleached muslin, attach to 1 short side a bunting with two grommets. Next, at an interval equaling 2/3 of the flag's long side, draw a thin dashed line vertically, creating a square from the bunting to the line. Next, using a 6" whitewash or stippling brush, paint a single, irregular horizontal line of Sherwin Williams #4009 Walnut Brown directly down the center using a single stroke of the brush.

Shit-stains such as you now have a flag that serves as a warning to others. For complete realism, shove pole up your ass and have a friend put you on display in the back of his pickup truck.

2/28/2012 2:54:25 PM

zipperback

Civil War II failed at Ruby Ridge.

David Koresh, despite any FBI snafus and anything like that was a child molester with a messiah complex that was converting guns illegally to full automatic weapons.

Hard right wingers will sometimes bring up Ruby Ridge as an example of the gub'mint's ruthless persecution of the "law abiding gun owner". Whether it is or it isn't, the fact is that the cult had seven whole weeks to surrender and/or negotiate. What were they waiting for? Divine intervention, perhaps but the only valid tactical out would be an uprising of right wing paramilitary types to break the siege line and pull them out of the mess. One good sized militia or group of survivalists would have made a major impact.

But this never happened.

There might have been a raging groundswell of anti government activity to stop the gun-grabbin' Democrats.

But this never happened.

All we got is tough talk and grumbling because they can't decide which "infringement" on their rights is the one that sparks the revolution. As long as there's no singular travesty there's nothing to rally round and progressives have worked incrementally with things like atheism and gay marriage gain approval by fractions of a percent every year.

Survivalists are, by their nature, reactive, only fulfilling their potential AFTER the world ends, society collapses and so forth. Most will just hunker in the bunker and let someone else and test the waters like David Koresh did.

Also, being Conservatives, they really can achieve anything major without heavy corporate support.

2/28/2012 3:17:33 PM

Amadaun

...you do realize that during the last civil war the fanciest equipment was artillery, and both sides had access to that? Oh, and ironclad warships. Like, two of them.

Where exactly are you planning to get advanced missiles with satellite-aiming capability? Or /tanks/? Civil war is not a practical possibility unless one part of the existing military winds up fighting another part. Very few people in the modern world, let alone those with the necessary advanced military training, have the sectional loyalties to be dragged into something like that the way Lee was. We are living post-WWII. Very few people are Virginian /before/ they're American.

Mind you, most historical civil wars before the last couple of centuries were larger-scale coups with pieces of the official military fighting one another. See, Rome. Our command structure is set up to minimize the possibility of this, but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen someday, somehow. After severe sociopolitical stress points that don't currently exist developed.

The fact that we no longer have even the possibility of a well-organized militia capable of resisting government oppressions, should the government become seriously oppressive, I actually do acknowledge is not a good thing, and would not have been seen as such by many of our Constitution-framing forebears who had just got done being rebels themselves. But modern military tech in civilian hands is a worse thing, and I don't think being in denial about the potential of a bunch of revolutionaries in a country like this one to do more than get wherever they make their move comprehensively destroyed is a good idea.

Unless, you know, you want to live in Afghanistan. Brave people versus invading USSR! They're finally gone, shit, our country is completely wrecked. People versus other people in the wreckage! Oh, fuck, some even crazier assholes brought in some cash and techniques, which was good, but got the world's most powerful army mad at us. Panicking people who have been fighting our whole lives versus yet another invasion! Gaaaaaaaaah! Who needs a central government that isn't run by my faction? Pickup trucks can drive over thirty miles per hour on some of these roads! Abdur Rahman Khan built this on in the nineteenth century!

2/28/2012 3:53:43 PM

Old Viking

Relax, Goober. You're already revolting.

2/28/2012 4:15:04 PM

Osiris

I should forward this to the FBI so Amerikanish can enjoy their party van.

2/28/2012 4:25:42 PM

Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis

You debate on what flag to use? Don't worry, I have a very good idea on which flag you should use. This should be a flag that represents the freedom to own slaves, your Christian virtues, the hatred for communism and a reminder that capitalism can make the rich richer.
Here, use this flag:


2/28/2012 6:11:38 PM

Agahnim

Civil War II is a delusion of yours, Old Glory would be an OK symbol if there were one to begin with, Stars and Bars has a history of racism that people won't bother to let go of, the eagle's fine since it's a symbol (though I'd prefer Old Glory), an eagle would be better than a lion since the latter isn't native to any part of the Americas (let alone the US), and the Cross is unconstitutional.

Oh, and go see a psychiatrist as soon as you can get one to see you.

2/28/2012 6:14:55 PM



Star and Bar Swastika

2/28/2012 9:12:16 PM

Robespierre

@Amadaun

Just yesterday I happened to read an article by George Orwell ("You and the atomic bomb") that argued that the general trend since the 19th Century had been for new weapons to become less "democratic" - i.e.: more complex to use, expensive to make, and requiring more organization to use effectively - one of his points being that governments were now much less vulnerable to their own citizens.
A modern secession would be even less successful than the previous one - and, incidentally, the argument that gun ownership is a safeguard against tyranny is weaker than before.

2/28/2012 10:49:43 PM

Argle Bargle

Here's an idea: Draw a big red arrow with the text "here be complete morons" pointing downwards. Be sure to fly it high!

2/29/2012 8:54:34 AM
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