Quote# 86477

Hi everyone,

My brother just returned from Hawaii and brought us some souvenirs. He brought a Tiki "god" for me. When I got home and saw it I told my mom that it wasn't staying in my house. She told me I was being ridiculous. It's about a 5 inch tall carved wooden statue. I threw it in the trash last night.

What would you do? Did I overreact?

I know this, I had a Satanic attack in my dreams last night. I've got to get that trash carried out of my house!

ClarionCall, Rapture Ready 54 Comments [3/18/2012 4:22:53 AM]
Fundie Index: 63

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Oh it's scary when the kids are more whacked out fundie than their parents....

3/18/2012 4:25:43 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

LOL! You actually watched an episode of the Brady Bunch as you fell asleep.

Grow the fuck up, and stop being such a pussy.

3/18/2012 5:12:42 AM


You didn't do enough. Your brother is an idolater firmly in Satan's grip, and your parents' attitude shows their blindness to the evil in your household too.

You must find an exorcist immediately to cleanse your house. If you are unable to find one or can't afford it, then you must kill your family to save them from lasting torment.

3/18/2012 5:18:20 AM


It's a wooden carving. There's nothing evil about it unless you're mentally ill. That and I'm pretty sure Hawaii doesn't even believe in the religion it came from anyway since it's part of the United States now.

3/18/2012 5:18:57 AM

D Laurier

You need help.

3/18/2012 5:46:56 AM


Dear ClarionCall, My advice is to stop eating the spicy foods before bedtime. That should keep the crazy dreams away.

Far as the souvenir, it likely has the spiritual power of a package of IKEA napkins. Display it on a table and have a good laugh.

3/18/2012 6:48:58 AM

Buck up, sissypants.

3/18/2012 7:07:16 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Yes, you overreacted. The tiki-god doesn't exist. Thanks for revealing that you are a henotheist.

3/18/2012 7:07:22 AM


I'm not a big fan of controlling everything a child gets to see or hear, but that's it, if I ever have a child of my own, I'm blocking Rapture Ready. All the illegal porn and bomb recipes out there? Second. Rapture Ready first.

3/18/2012 7:14:56 AM


So you think pieces of wood can be infected with Satanic powers and can attack good Christians? You must think God is pretty stupid.

3/18/2012 7:30:38 AM

rubber chicken

Carry out your own trash you fat, lazy fuck!

3/18/2012 7:50:20 AM


Why are fundies so against CULTURE?

3/18/2012 7:57:26 AM


Why is it only the gullible fundies who ever get attacked by demons? You would think their god would protect them.
Then again, his track record that way isn't great (Book of Job).

3/18/2012 8:14:16 AM


Yes, be careful. If you keep that thing, then you'll find tarantulas in your bed, almost die in a surfing accident, and get kidnapped by Vincent Price. Just ask Greg Brady.

3/18/2012 8:16:20 AM


Dear ClarionCall, Check your pizza for shoorms.

3/18/2012 8:32:29 AM

I would have wrapped it up and given it back to my brother with an explanation that it violates your religious views, but thanks for the thought.

3/18/2012 8:49:55 AM


You overreacted. The satanic dreams are just your subconscious telling you that you're a dick. You didn't listen to the song "Tiki God" by the Presidents of the United States of America by any chance, did you?

3/18/2012 9:33:26 AM

Thinking Allowed

But ClarionCall, perhaps this video will explain in full detail about Satan.


3/18/2012 10:09:57 AM

Rabbit of Caerbannog

"Damn you, Tiki idol!"

3/18/2012 10:25:48 AM

Lady Evil

Everybody sing!

It's the story, of a whacked out fundie,
Who freaked out over a Tiki god.
He claimed that, it was possessed by Satan,
And his dreams were rather odd!

Kinda reminds me of my brother who claimed a clown mask I made was moving and looking at him at night.

3/18/2012 10:51:04 AM


I personally wouldn't worry about this. I have a "guardian god" that a friend brought me from New Guinea, and yes, it is an "idol," but I don't worship it. I know that the god it represents doesn't exist and is irrelevant to my faith, so it doesn't bother me to have it on a shelf as a cultural artifact. It's only idolatry if you are inclined to worship it or actually believe that the deity it depicts exists.

3/18/2012 11:09:07 AM


This controversial and will probably upset some people, but some of this also has to do with white cultural bias. What I mean is that artifacts from indigenous, non-European cultures are still viewed with superstition (which has been the case since at least the 15th century, when Europeans began exploring and colonizing different parts of the world), while Eurocentric customs that could equally be construed as "paganism" (ie, Christmas trees, Easter eggs) are overlooked or given a Christianized meaning.

3/18/2012 11:13:51 AM


Yes, you over-reacted.

No, you had a bad nightmare.

You're an ungrateful louse toward's your brother.

It's a silly knick knack from Hawaii.

3/18/2012 11:21:01 AM


So young, and already a sick, tyrannical little FOX.

3/18/2012 12:38:58 PM


Can't sleep, Tiki god will eat me.
Can't sleep, Tiki god will eat me....

3/18/2012 12:39:00 PM

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